Broken Dolls
by Guilty.Ink
Summary: EDITED. The story of Kakashi Hatake - the son of the White Fang, the prodigy, the ANBU, the famed copy-nin - had all unfolded around the one person he didn't know whether he hated or loved, and yet he ended up inexorably alone anyway. KakashiOC.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**A/N: **Tiny bit late with this, but I'll just say it once. DISCLAIMER. All characters, with the exception of the Mikuzens, belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Rating _will _go up in later chapters for dark and hinted/suggestive sexual themes.

******Has been edited. As you will continue to read (which I highly recommend, even if you read this before!) you will notice that I changed a lot of the things people brought up to my attention, or things that I later noticed and just, simply, did not like. I hope you will like this version better. However, if you don't, and it is obvious that the general response is "oh God, what have you done" then I will post up another story with the Original Broken Dolls.**

******But I really, ****__****really ********hope that isn't the case. **

******But if it is, ****__****please ********tell me. It won't hurt my feelings. I swear. If there's anything that annoys you that I removed or have yet to add, I care to know. **

******Chapters Three – Fifteen went through the most change, so if you just want to ****__****know ********what changed without really ****__****reading ********it...well, I recommend focusing on those ones in particular :)**

******Now that I have spent hours editing this, I will reward myself with a Game of Thrones marathon ~**

******Winter is coming.**

******And I am leaving.**

******(For a bit).**

******Enjoy! **

* * *

Chapter One: The Beginning

The day Kakashi Hatake first arrived at the Academy, at age 5, it was clear that he was a prodigy. Chunins had taken bets on how long he would stay there: some said a year; others, 6 months. He would be a legend. It was clear in those guarded, black eyes, in his movement, in the way he studied scrolls for the briefest second and analyzed them fully in the next. Even if he had no birthright or kekkei genkai, he was still the son of Konoha's White Fang, after all. With or without that comparison, the point still remained: Kakashi was simply better than everyone else.

The day he entered the Academy and held his first weapon in his hands, a two year old child had clapped her hand and giggled. This girl was Akane Mikuzen, and she was a child with presence. They stared at her coppery hair and pale eyes, charmed by her little, ringing laughter. And for the first couple years of her life, that was simply all Akane Mikuzen was: a doll. She was a show, with no substance. Useless. Fragile.

She was everything a ninja ___shouldn't_be.

xxxxx

"Obito, where are you going? We're going to be late!" Rin scolded, her voice breaking through the quiet roads leading back into Konoha. Birds chirped and flew away as the girl ran after the grinning Uchiha boy on a bright, sunny day. He didn't slow down, but rather turned to face her and ran backwards. His face lit up.

"A cousin of mine is entering the Academy today!" Obito exclaimed proudly as they approached the familiar white and red building attached to the Monument. A flock of children crowded the doors, all chattering excitedly about becoming a great ninja like their siblings or parents or one day becoming the most well known ninja ever – some, even aspiring to be the next Hokage. It was just a chaos of high-pitched voice.

"Obito."

"WHAT THE -" Obito shouted, flustered as a silver-haired boy appeared behind him, glaring at him. "Kakashi, what was that for!" He complained loudly as Rin giggled. Kakashi, even behind his mask, was clearly not amused by Obito's attitude. His black eyes narrowed accusingly.

"I just___knew_you would be here. Didn't Minato-sensei tell us to meet at the training grounds in five minutes?" Kakashi reminded bitterly. His eyes flickered to Rin, and although he didn't say anything to her directly, it was clear that he wasn't too thrilled with the fact that she had followed the boy as well. She stared down at her feet, unable to meet his piercing gaze – a trait so rare among someone so young.

"I would've made it." The Uchiha snapped indignantly, but it was obviously a lie. "Ah, forget you." He sharply turned away from his teammate and scanned the crowd for his young cousin. All the while, a copper-haired girl was staring at the group of ninjas with open curiosity and blinked in realization when she put their words together.

"Kenta," Akane Mikuzen said, poking the Uchiha beside her, smiling, "I think your cousin is looking for you." The dark-haired boy looked up face flushed a bit. When he had heard his name, he was shocked to hear such a friendly voice from the girl. Even before entering the Academy, most of the aspiring ninjas knew each other fairly well and Akane was hard to miss. Although she was a daughter of a jonin, it was her mother's profession as a dressmaker that made everyone wondered why Akane would ever consider being a kunoichi when she seemed more like one of her mother's mannequin. Nonetheless, she had accompanied her father today into the first enrollment at the Academy, more out of curiosity than an early introduction.

Kenta stammered. "Huh? Oh, uh, well –"

"Hey!" They turned to the taller boy. "I see you!" Obito announced, shuffling his way through the crowd. Akane, being only three, giggled at his clumsiness for someone who was already on a squad – and stopped midway when another popped up right in front of her. It was the other boy, the one with the mask. His hair was an odd colour of grey that she that she had always associated with older men, and yet despite his small frame, he had a presence that was incredibly hard to mix. ___How did he get here so fast__?_

"Let's ___go,_Obito. I refuse to run ten more laps around the training ground just because you want to –"

"Fine! Geesh, Kakashi!" He groaned angrily at the bossy, self-proclaimed leader of the squad_. ____God, I hate Kakashi – hey, wait a second__._ Obito's eyes narrowed as he took in the tiny, orange haired girl in front of him. He leaned down to her, eyes squinted. "I know you."

She didn't hear him, she was turning red – more red than Kenta had – at being so close to _Kakashi_. She wasn't sure why but the way that this boy carried himself, the way he moved, caught her attention...or maybe she wanted to see his face that was hidden behind that mask. "I'm Akane." Her little voice was hopeful as she looked up at Kakashi with open admiration.

He didn't care, he didn't notice. And he didn't wait for Obito.

One moment, the young chunin was in front of her, and the next, he disappeared; leaving Akane with her first hope of becoming as strong as he.

xxxxx

When Dosu Mikuzen married a civilian woman, he knew he wanted his daughter to be raised like that: a civilian, well away from dangers of a shinobi life. That was the reason why he didn't marry a kunoichi, after all. He knew he could not be able to handle the pain of losing someone close to him simply because it was a part of the job.

So when his five year old daughter ran up to him and begged him to register her as a kunoichi, he was horrified. More than horrified. He tried to imagine his little girl holding weapons up as he did, and slaughtering other children and adults even. But she was so determined, and he was a sucker and so he reluctantly signed her up. She bounced up and down excitedly, trying to watch over the crowd.

Two years ago, she had been standing here next to Kenta Uchiha. Now, she was going to be a student.

"I'm going to be strong, right dad?"

He sighed, covering his face. "Damn right you will be."

Akane stared openly at her father, who had never seemed to clean up his language even in front of his daughter. He wasn't the least apologetic about it. A grin broke across her face and she grabbed her father's hand, pushing him towards the Academy, already anticipating the day where she would graduate and join a squad with Kakashi.

xxxxx

The young prodigy sat down on the grassy training ground, appraising the spar between his sensei and _the other one_. The Uchiha's attacks were sloppy compared to Minato's quick, assured movement. His eyes followed the blonde man's speed patterns versus the amount of strength he used when aiming for each body part and preplanned his own moves, what he would do to retaliate, and the proper way _to _respond.

And as sharp as Kakashi was monitoring the fight, he still noticed Rin staring at him from the corner of his eyes.

"What?" He asked in a harsher-than-necessary whisper, his eyes darting around to follow Minato's flashes. She blinked and looked down, staring at her hands in her lap. She said something quietly, but he pretended not to hear because he did not care for her – or girls, really. He just needed to be a ninja…to get a higher rank, to carry out more missions, to prove his value to all of Konoha and to the Hokage and to all the shinobi that had thought lesser of him because his father was not strong enough. That was the only thing that mattered, the only thing he strived for after the night he had seen his father's hands on the kunai that ended his life - that caused the body of a fully grown ninja to lie curled up in a pathetic ball and dead by his very own son's feet.

* * *

Third fanfiction for Naruto, oh Lord help me I have a problem. But at last, a KakashixOC fanfic that I can actually imagine writing! It was difficult trying to analyse what type of girl would be good for Kakashi. So…meet Akane Mikuzen.

I'm really trying to pace myself here with the story, so bear with fan-girlness for a bit! This story will probably be spanned over like what, 15 years of his life?

Hope you enjoyed! Leave a review.


	2. Chapter 2: The Crack

Chapter Two: The Crack

"Obito!"

Akane waved enthusiastically at the Uchiha boy and he looked up, panting and breathless but smiling nonetheless. Obito was perhaps the most non-arrogant Uchiha she has ever met. Although she had met his cousin, Kenta first...as soon as she got to know him, the Uchiha pride revealed itself. But it was the social hierarchy of the class that was the cause of their odd friendship, and that allowed her to also get to know Obito in the process. Thankfully, Obito was pureply a ___nice _ninja – no, a nice person, period - and she had gotten along with him incredibly better. It was just a bonus that he was teammates with Kakashi. "Is Kakashi with you?"

Obito's smile slipped. He rolled his eyes underneath the goggles. She was such a fangirl, he thought, she was worse than…well, him towards Rin. He was usually bitter towards the girls that chased after Kakashi, but after two years of being acquainted with her, he just felt like an older brother. A very annoyed one. "No, Akane," he said exasperatedly but affectionately, "I don't know _what _he's doing today. Sensei Minato cancelled training and missions today for that self-centered –"

"Self-centered what?"

Akane's breathing cut off sharply when the younger ninja was suddenly _right _there. In front of her. From literally nowhere. He was wearing a short sleeve black shirt and shorts, with a white leather straps across his chest and arm guards. And of course, that mask. "Kakashi," Akane whispered, suddenly shy.

Obito glared at the younger boy. "Self centre _brat_." He finished. "Just because you get a promotion in ranks, we have to change _our _schedule for yours!" He muttered as he slashed the tree in front of him angrily. Kakashi merely stood there, his eyes straight towards the disappointment that was Obito Uchiha.

Kakashi was apathetic towards him. "_You're_ the one being childish," he simply said and turned around. "I'm just doing my job. Well." The only reason he was there was to run a quick scan of the neighbourhood, anyway. He had just felt like interrupting Obito, knowing that it would piss the Uchiha off. And so it did.

"Pft," Obito rolled his eyes. "Yeah, for another hour." He mumbled, but Kakashi already left, leaving the boy talking to himself.

Even though Kakashi had never said a single word towards the orange-haired child, she couldn't help but admire him…everything about him. His aloofness, the way he handled situations…and to this five year old child, he was simply from a whole different world.

She looked at Obito. He was skilled himself, of course – being on a squad so young as well. But he was a genin and he was volatile and he was not composed, not in a way that made him seem much older. But then again, she was just making excuses because the truth was that no one could quite match up to her mental image of Kakashi Hatake.

xxxxx

Akane was glaring at herself in the mirror, growing frustrated at herself. After all, two years had pass by and each time she saw him, she would freeze and butterflies would take over. She _had_ to make an initiative.

She ran downstairs, into the kitchen and peaking outside. It wasn't dark yet so maybe he would still be guarding the village? It was a slim chance, but she was itching to act on something. And then she had an idea. She ransacked her cupboards until she got out enough ingredients, and she furiously worked to create _something_. Boys ate a lot, right? They get hungry. And if Obito's back comment was right, Kakashi should still be there. And her father! The plan unfolded in her mind, and then she was frantic.

She heard steps descending down the stairs and into the kitchen area, but her eyes did not leave the box of food she was arranging so precariously."Akane," Dosu said warily, raising his eyebrow, "just what are you doing?" A flash of lightening lit up her house and for a brief moment, she wanted to give up on her plan. But…why should a little rain and thunder stop her?___Do it for love, do it for love. _She beamed up at her father.

"Nothing," she lied, and it was obvious the way her voice went up a few pitch. Her father glowered down at her with the same blue eyes. He was not stupid, far from it, and he knew what little boys and little girls did when they liked each other. But from the past two years, everything he had witnessed was completely one sided and even a blind man could see that the broken little boy that was Kakashi Hatake would never _ever _like anyone quite flamboyant his daughter. But he decided to let this one go, curious himself to see what his little daughter was planning.

"Well…I'll be out then. Take care of your mom."

He tousled her hair before he left the house, knowing fair well that Akane was following him out. He was on yet another patrol, something chunins should be doing but he had volunteered nonetheless. All they needed was a single ninja to infiltrate the village and it may change _everything_. He knew from his fair share of experience, that was fifteen years of being a chunin and two years of jonin, that securing the village and protecting the villagers was far more important than running on missions. After all, did it matter that a village was prosperous if there were no inhabitants?

The rain was like a shower and moments after he stepped out of his house, his dark hair was plastered down his face. He would be spending several hours in it, and began regretting that he had allowed his daughter out. She was going to get sick, and her mother was going to be furious – and worse, he suddenly amused the idea of Akane doing something stupid that would get her heart broken. He sighed.

He walked up to a young, silver-haired boy that was leaning against a tree, not quite seeking protection from the weather as much as trying to hide in the shadows of it. So this was Sakumo Hatake's son. He was everything that the other shinobi spoke out –years older than his physical age and with the composure to prove it. "You're relieved," Dosu said politely at the child prodigy. Kakashi looked up, and Dosu immediately recognize the guarded look in those black eyes. He was pretty much the perfect ninja, the perfect toy controlled by Konoha's higher ups and that idea was unsettling. His own daughter was only three years this boy's junior, and he could only hope that Akane did not present the same appeal that he did. Dosu frowned as Kakashi nodded and left.

And not too far behind, Akane was peeking by a tree at the boy up against her father. Her hair was clinging to her face, and rain on her eyelashes. She watched her father disappear from sight and Kakashi walk…right towards her._Hold your ground, Akane! You didn't go all the way out here to back up now!_

"Kakashi!" She exclaimed in a brief moment of courage. He looked up at her, his emotions concealed…not that he would give anything away, what with a mask covering majority of his face. _Why is this girl shouting at me?_

"What?" He asked, none too politely. He had no reason to be formal for this random girl. He recognized the orange hair – it was hard not to. Suddenly, she pulled out a wrap box behind her and presented it to him, shoving it towards him with arms fully extended.

"Um, this is for you!" She said, head bowed. "Please accept it," she added softly. And for a moment, they didn't move. The sound of rain and lightening deafening in her ears and it felt like a century passed by until his voice broke through.

"No."

Her heart constricted, she peaked up but nobody was in front of her. Just like that, he was gone. She looked around wildly; unable to understand how he just slipped right by her without her even noticing. The humiliation of rejection flushed through her, and she dropped the box to the ground, wiping her already wet face along her arm. _I will not cry, I will not cry._

But it was pretty hard to hold it together when you were that young.

Dosu sighed again, hitting himself with his palm. He should have intervened sooner. It was never a pleasant thing to experience, seeing your daughter get her heart crushed at such a young age…and by a kid like Kakashi. Children didn't take rejection very well, and Akane was worse. Dosu appeared in front of his daughter, down on his knees as he picked up a _wagashi _that he clearly remembered Minami making for him. He popped it in his mouth, although the confectionery was ruined by rain. Akane watched through eyes brimmed with rain and tears, her hands curled up at her face. He felt his heart ached for his daughter, who looked so innocent and hurt by this arrogant little brat...

"Cheer up, kiddo." Dosu simply smiled at his daughter, gently smearing his thumb against her cheek."It's his lost."

She stared at her father for a bit longer, and wiped her eyes for the last time. She picked up the box, stuffing the fallen sweets back in and wrapping it carefully. Her wet hair fell past her shoulder, skimming over the contents and she stared at it for even a while longer before she shook her head. She held it to her chest, and quietly, she turned away from her father. "I'll try again," she whispered. She wasn't going to give up on Kakashi Hatake quite yet.

After all, it wasn't as if he had said _no_ to _her._

xxxxx

"She's here," Rin whispered to Kakashi, who had his eyes set on his blonde sensei, "_again_."

The prodigy was twelve years old now, and Kakashi was training harder than ever to achieve that jonin-level that was promised to him. He only cared for the ninja life, not the groups of annoying girls that followed him around Konoha. He had Rin around, and that was the only way a female was actively in his life and even then, it was more than he preferred.

Still, the brown haired girl turned back to the trees where a little girl was watching carefully as Team Minato trained with Kakashi's promotion as a motive. She had a hand on a tree, and was peaking curiously at Kakashi. Every once in awhile, her eyes would widen and soften if he did something like move at an incredible speed, slashing his kunai as he went up against his sensei.

Then again, if Kakashi would just hold up a weapon to eye level, she would fawn over that too.

Another two years had passed since the initial rejection, but like all determined fan girls, Akane didn't give up. She had observed any training the team did in Konoha for months now. While she couldn't follow them on missions, Obito was damn confused as to how this little girl could find them _every single time _they sparred. Obito snuck a glance back at her, and in a new jutsu he had just perfected, he reappeared right behind her. And poked her. "Hey Akane." Stage whisper. She didn't give it a moment's thought before she let out a long scream, the birds all fluttering away with an angry caw.

"Obito!" She cried out and dug her nails into her palms angrily, restraining her anger. He was the still the only one who acknowledged her presence. Kakashi found her annoying and strictly ignored her, pretending she wasn't there. Rin didn't want to be caught up, after all…her own feelings towards Kakashi made it awkward for her to intervene. Even if it _was_ a girl three years younger than her crush. "You scared me!"

"Well you're stalking Kakashi."

She glared at him.

"…and you should stop." Obito continued. He sighed when Akane became even more furious at him. "It's pointless to just follow him around," Obito flicked his wrist around, eyes rolling, "that guy always get that. You'll just be like all the rest." When his words didn't sink in – even after all this time– he wanted to shake her until she would open her eyes and realize what was going on but he could tell from those doe blue eyes that there was no way she would accept the fact that her love would not be returned. "Why? He doesn't mind," she said, her eyebrows pulled together. After all, he still had not once told her to stop. She had seen him do it to everyone else in her class – but never her. That _had _to mean something. "I can impress him."

"By following him? Go ahead, my good little stalker."

"But I _can_." She insisted. Didn't he understand that still after all these years, not once had Kakashi shot her down? There had to be a reason for that. She was sure that he admired strength, and she had potential. Obito remembered when he had seen the little girl spar with his cousin, Kenta, and she wasn't a bad kunoichi. In fact, her genjutsu was pretty impressive. But her obsession with Kakashi was getting out of hand. He didn't even know how she motivated herself. It was like chasing after a wall. "Just trust me on this, Akane, it's useless. _He's_ hopeless."

Right, tell the girl who had followed Kakashi for six years now that it was useless. Because _that _was going to work.

xxxxx

Akane Mikuzen was nine years old and she was doing…poorly in the Academy, to say the least. The only thing she seemed to excel in was genjutsu, a relatively non-violent art. Out of everything to had a proper grasp on, it was something that was all illusions. But this child not even properly aim a kunai. She lacked coordination, her hands did not move fast enough and when it did, it was never to the right place.

"Dosu," Minami whispered to her husband later that night. "This is going on for _too _long." He sighed.

"If Akane wants to be a kunoichi...we can't deny her of it. That would be hypocritical." He frowned but Minami, being the woman she was, merely pouted. Dosu's face softened. She was beautiful as well, being the source of her daughter's loveliness. The gentle features, large eyes and endearing smile were all inherited from the older Mikuzen. And Dosu did not simply love her because she was beautiful, but because she was kind and he believed that it was not just fear, but worry that fuelled Minami's insistence on Akane dropping out.

"But she's can't do _anything _but those illusion tricks!" Minami bit her lip. Granted those "illusion tricks" were frightening, but they couldn't save her in the real world. In her eyes, genjutsu were no more than parlour tricks. She shook off any praise that the teachers told her of Akane – that she understood genjutsu and the mind of opponents in a way that surpassed many others. And it was not that Minami was condescending towards her daughter – rather the opposite: she loved her daughter - she honestly did - but being a civilian known for weaving the most beautiful silk dresses, it made things difficult to understand. Having a daughter running around doing missions with no protection but her fake shadows was far from ideal. Dosu grabbed his wife's hand but paused, not knowing what to say. It was such a pain living with two women, and Akane presented him with a _bit _of a more thrill. He married Minami wanting nothing but a _normal _family, but he couldn't accept having a _normal _daughter. He wanted her to be skilled and strong...not chasing after little boys with egos the size of the village.

"I'll train her myself, Minami," he promised and she gasped and smacked him on his arm with a scowl.

"I don't want Akane around your weapons!" She protested. "She's just a little girl! She _isn't _a ninja!"

Akane stopped, her hand that had been tracing a line on the wall freezing, and her heart falling. Disappointment filled her and she wanted to curl up. But won't her mother understand? There was no jewellery or silk dress that would make Kakashi recognize her. She remembered when Kakashi glared at her, and she _knew _that if she was strong, he would never look at her like that ever again. Why didn't her mother believe in her? Kakashi wasn't like the other boys. He would never even give the time of day to a civilian, but he sure as hell would notice her if she was a kunoichi.

She ___had_to do this.

xxxxx

"Hey, Kakashi!" Akane waved enthusiastically as she spotted – well, actually she timed her encounter with - the silver-haired chunin. He glanced up at her and looked away immediately. Her face fell ever so slightly, but she didn't care. She approached him regardless of his expressionless eyes.

Except Kakashi was anything _but _emotionless at that time. He had just returned from yet another bell test given by his sensei, and it was another bell test he failed. Just the thought of it made Kakashi dig his fingers into his palm, relishing in the pain to control the disappointment. Usually, it was easy to smother all his feelings but seeing her face was only baiting out his anger. For how long now, her presence was constantly there…watching him. And he ignored it the way people ignored flies. He ignored her failed attempts at starting a conversation with him, ignored all her gifts during the holiday season, he didn't even bother to ask for her name. Never once had Kakashi even initiate a conversation with this girl, yet somehow, after all this time, she was still driven.

And today, he had enough of it.

He turned to her, holding her gaze. And for a moment, her heart started beating face. ___He's looking at me – Kakashi is __actually ____looking at me! I can't believe it! _Her heart was fluttering, desperately hopeful.

And then it was breaking.

"Can you get _lost_?"

His voice was hostile; ice and annoyance clear in his eyes. He didn't care that she was a little girl with little girl hopes and little _fan_girl tendencies. Nor did he care that all the little boys her age chased after her little copper head and ogled over her blue eyes. She was just a weak, useless leech that needed to stop deluding herself into thinking that he would care for her.

His thoughts were harsh, but it was his multiple defeats that motivated it. He didn't hate her, but with the lost fresh in his mind, Akane only saw the anger. Those black eyes that she day dreamt about were glaring at her now. She couldn't breathe, and even though Kakashi seemed slightly surprise by his tone, he walked away regardless, stepping over the remains of her heart. And this time, she couldn't let it go. She could not make any excuses.

xxxxx

"Hey – you!"

Sweat clouded her eyes, itched at her face and dirt stuck on her skin and she was not going to stop moving just to answer. And despite the fact that she blatantly ignored him, Gai Maito approached her anyway. There was something about the way she dedicatedly attacked the tree that impressed him. She was clearly still an Academy student, from the way she dressed, and her skill. Still, she had been there for several weeks now - training. Her form wasn't too off, but clearly she was not built for taijutsu. Gai shouted even louder until she finally kicked the tree to its breaking point and at last, she faced him.

"Yeah?" She panted warily, and her voice was small and she sounded very, _very _young. Gai almost flushed. She was a looker, a temptress, that was definite, but there was something sad in her eyes. Something determined. Something _he _could work with.

"You may look like a tiger, but you are not _attacking _that with the true form of the animal you so resemble!"

She stared...and gave up trying to understand him. "_What_?"

"You are doing that all wrong, my tiger lily!"

"I am?"

He nodded confidently, eager to display his knowledge. "Allow me to enlighten your mind on how to correctly use your bodily vessel to its full potential, little one! I shall train you, if you give me the honour of doing so!" _Since nobody else would,_ he mentally added.

Her eye twitched. "Little one?"

"Yes! You can call me Gai, and I can teach you how to surpass all others if you truly work for it!" He fist pumped and made an example by side-kicking the tree so hard that it snapped off clean. She stared at him for a moment and then at the remains of the tree. She couldn't deny it. This strange, bushy browed, awkward-haired boy in a sleeveless jumpsuit…he was weird. But he was nice…sorta. And Akane needed help if she wanted to exhaust her body.

She took a deep breath. And nodded. "Okay."

He stopped. ___Have my ears deceived me?! Someone actually agreed for me to train them! Wait, I must reply before she becomes discouraged __-_

"You will not regret this!"


	3. Chapter 3: Fear

Chapter Three: Fear

Kakashi played with the dagger, flipping it over and under his fingers quickly and smoothly. It was a cool morning and he felt the breeze against his mask, and slowly, he closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in his thoughts: about his father, about being a shinobi, about training under the potential Hokage - then a cracking sound brought him back to reality. ___What was that? _He frowned, not like being disturbed in the morning...or any time of the day, really. He slowly got up, narrowing his black eyes and walking towards the neighbouring training ground and spotted a familiar, bushy haired child. He sighed.

He braced himself for Gai to yell out "Rival!" and challenge him to yet another competition; but instead, the dark haired boy was clutching his hand and staring excitedly at...a girl? He saw a flash of bright orange hair and then she was falling. His legs instinctively got ready to go and catch her but he stopped immediately.

Oh. It was ___her__._

He watched, but decided not to involve himself with that annoying little girl. But to his surprise, the usual self-proclaimed gallant chunin didn't help her up but rather motivate her to get up herself. Her palms were red and bleeding and he was fairly sure that she was wearing Gai's infamous leg weights.

And yet she was slowly getting up regardless.

And he stopped, finding himself staring at those eager blue eyes. He told himself it was nothing but a curious examination, but Kakashi was a genius, and deep down, he knew that he just didn't want to look away.

xxxxx

"A-Akane?" Her mother whispered, horrified as a strange ninja dragged her usually doll like daughter in. She turned to her husband and whipped him with the towel in her hand. "Look at what you've done to our daughter! You've corrupted her mind! Sweet Lord, _look at her face_!"

"Calm down, woman!" Dosu prompted but he was distressed himself. A day's worth of training was something he prided himself with, and although he wouldn't tell Minami that, he was proud of her. But this…this was a different situation. He sighed. "Here, I'll take her," he said to Gai, a young chunin he had met recently. How his precious daughter had gotten mixed up with a nut ball like him, Dosu will never know. But if stories were true about how intense this taijutsu-expert's trainings really were, he seriously feared for his daughter's well-being. And looking at her now: the usual doll being all roughened up, bruised, and matted with dirt…

He wondered when did having a daughter become so goddamn frightening.

xxxxx

Akane Mikuzen used to be the doll-like girl and until the day Kakashi diminished her self worth, before the day she became a tutelage under Gai, she would have been a pretty face and nothing but that. In the back of her father's mind, he worried that she would be yet another kunoichi sent on missions where seduction was the key, and her body a sacrifice…

But he didn't worry for that anymore. True, for awhile, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack every time his comrade would chuckle over hearing Akane and Gai train together. But now, a month after graduation – _two _whole months with Gai – he was more proud of her than ever. Especially now, when Akane was walking in her mother's silk-dress making shop, wearing a dark, sleeveless jumpsuit that was horribly similar to Gai's, but not at all the same impression given, with her signature bright sienna hair tied up in a high, messy ponytail. "Dad! Come on, it's four!" She ran up to Dosu and shook his arm impatiently.

"Geesh, Akane." He smiled and ruffled up her hair. "Calm down." She smiled brightly at him regardless. He had promise her that he would take her on a patrol shift several days back, when her sensei praised her genjutsu. Her jonin-sensei, Jorochi, had even said her genjutsu could rival Kurenai Yuhi's. And _that __was_ a high praise.

Dosu, being a weapons specialist, wanted his daughter to have a kenjutsu back up. Her illusions and shadows were impressive, but he feared that it wasn't enough to keep her away from the group of kunoichi used for their sex appeal. Then again, with Gai's training...perhaps she would be different. Nonetheless, Dosu had a lingering feeling that as soon as his daughter turned 15 or 16, he would pick her up and away from the ninja life and let her return when she was...let's say, an unattractive 40 year old. Maybe.

Akane walked alongside him around the outskirts of the village, smiling and well aware of the attention she drew. "Hey dad?" He blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. "How far are we –" Suddenly she stopped.

Walking straight towards her was Team Minato.

Two months ago, she would have been ecstatic. Now, she was just frightened…of Kakashi. Still under the impression he hated her, she winced when they stopped in front of her. Her fear competed with her interest. Why did Kakashi _have _to look so...sure of himself? His black eyes were looking anywhere but at her yet she still felt like he was testing her - one that she was failing. "Good evening, Dosu," the blonde man smiled politely. Her father inclined his head respectfully, placing a hand on his daughter's shoulder.

"Good evening to you too, Minato." He looked down. "This is my daughter, Akane, I don't think you two have met." The corners of the blonde man's mouth turned and glanced at his students before tilting his head at the small, orange haired girl.

"Not formally, no, but I think I've seen this little one around." Friendly as always, Minato lowered himself to the girl's level but she still had an expression of a deer in headlights. She ducked her head slightly behind her father. He laughed warmly. She was a cute young girl, and something about her startled eyes was strangely reminiscent to his wife's when she had first come into the village. He was slightly surprised to see the ninja headband wrapped loosely around her neck, acting as a collar to an oddly familiar black jumpsuit. This must be the girl that Kakashi's self proclaimed rival was teaching. "Well, not quite so often anymore," he corrected.

Obito beamed. "Yeah, Akane! We thought you died – but look at that! You became a genin, congratulations!" Obito immediately tried to hug her but Dosu coughed loudly, making the Uchiha grin shyly and scratch his heads. Kakashi averted his gaze, and Rin merely smiled. As the children talked, Minato's eyes met Dosu's gaze and he nodded just briefly, before examining the area around them. Something felt strange.

"I did," Akane spoke up for the first time, "thanks to Gai."

"WHAT?! _Gai_? As in the punk with the stupid eyebrows and that ugly hair cut –" Obito was fired up, fists clenched and eyes ablaze.

Oh boy.

"Weeell," Dosu interrupted, "it seems as if we better get going. It was nice running into you, Minato."

"Likewise." The jonin said, and turned to little Akane. "Here, allow me to give you a late graduation present."

She blinked, wondering why he was so nice but held out her hand as he placed a three-pointed kunai in it. "Congratulations, Akane." A smile lit up on her face that made Kakashi's head turn. At first, Rin thought it was over the curiosity of the weapon – but instead, she realized his eyes moved past it and towards the younger girl, at her smile. Rin's stomach dropped.

Akane didn't say anything, but the joy in her eyes was so clear that Minato laughed a short, distracted one. "Be safe." He stood up, hiding his worry. He didn't usually give his marked daggers to just anyone, but he felt like something would happen very soon. With war always on the brink of breaking and Konoha a particular target because of their success, Minato often went along with his gut feeling whenever he felt even the slightest change in the air.

"Thank you for the gift, Minato." Dosu said, recognizing the distinct kunai. He didn't comment on it though, deciding not to doubt the future Yondaime. The two groups departed but Minato couldn't help but glance back at where Dosu and his daughter were heading and knew that something was definitely not right. His instincts shouted at him to go with them, but he had to trust Dosu. Still, the Yellow Flash would be checking on them very, very soon.

xxxxx

Dosu's stomach was in knots. He knew that the Shinobi War was taking place far, far away from where he was taking shift. After all, the vulnerable locations to infiltrate Konoha were all covered by ANBU, but he couldn't help but feel unrest. Minato's gift confirmed that something was not right, yet it also brought comfort, knowing that the Yellow Flash would take Akane if anything were to happen. "Akane, maybe you should go ho-"

"No, you promised!" The girl cried out, staring up at her dad with wide eyes. He sighed. He so badly wanted to take her and tie her up at home to be with her mother…safe. As a Konoha ninja, he was well aware of the way they threw out children out into the war field...but he couldn't stop them, nor could he stop his daughter. It wasn't an option.

"So…we just wander?" She asked.

"We guard." He corrected and she rolled her eyes but didn't complain. She didn't mind walking around Konoha's forests with her dad. They were past the training grounds now, well beyond the border but not too far that help would be impossible to reach. There was a comfortable silence among the father and daughter as the two carefully surveillance the area.

And then, his head shot up.

xxxxx

There were several things that come naturally to every good ninja and one that was vital was their sense of intrusion. All accomplished shinobi should immediately pick up when something was wrong and that was why as soon as Dosu gut dropped, he was already shouting at Akane to run back to the village. "Quick! Go find a ninja, and tell them to –"

"Well we can't let that happen now, can we."

_Shit._

Why now – why now that something had to happen when he was with his daughter? Akane was too young to know to flee immediately, so she gaped at the strange ninja.

Dosu knew immediately it was an Iwagakure ninja by his grayish brown uniform. But …and he was alone. Could he possibly be foolishly scouting enemy lands like this? And then he realized who this was – a member of the explosive corps. The brown hair, green eyes…it was all too familiar. "Akane," Dosu said slowly, "this is an order: ___go_." The young man stared at the jonin father for awhile, and there was no bloodlust in his eyes. "Well look at that," he began slowly, lifting his chin, "I get myself a jonin." A hand shot up by his side and his palm was firm against a tree –

And it exploded.

Akane screamed, but before she could run, the man was racing towards Dosu. Her father's eyes were quick and he withdrew the two lean, long swords quickly and crossed it to push the enemy back – but just as quick, the man kicked them out of the way and twisted his body to try to land another blow to her father but Dosu jumped back, now with only one sword in his hands. He charged at him again but this time, the man held up his palm and -

Another explosion.

And then somehow, ___somehow_in less than a second, her father had lost both his sword and his arm torn clean-off, blood splattered in the background behind him. But he did not scream. He refused to show fear, to show pain. His face twisted up, heaving, as he clutched onto his bleeding arm.

If this was a life of a ninja, Akane regretted it. Nothing had ever prepared her for this, this _fear_. Her cheap genjutsu tricks, her hours with Gai…it didn't prepare her for the idea of _death_. She didn't realize that she ___could actually die__._

All children thought they were immortal, until something woke them out of it. And this was it.

Because despite everything, she was still a little girl. And. She. Could. Not. Handle. It.

And then her father was shouting. "_I said go –_" his voice was cut off by the man made another explosion from out of nowhere and her father – panting, wincing, bleeding and without his limb ran to her defense anyway. And Akane was just frozen in fear, doing nothing, not moving at all and gaping at the detached arm that was limp against a branch in absolutely horror. It was not until Dosu pushed her away with his last arm that she even remember she was in the midst of a battle. But then the man met them at the point and clawed his hands into his shoulder, failing. "Akane!" Dosu shouted, pushing her away – only to feel fingers wrap around his leg.

And heat exploded.

___I will not scream, I will not scream__. _Dosu bit back on his tongue, refusing to show pain. One arm, gone. And now his leg, everything below the knee – burnt beyond recognition. It was not physical pain, but a psychological trauma at seeing it. Third degree burns, nerves couldn't survive. Skin was not skin, and all he felt was pain lighting up his every nerve. He fell, crashing down the each level of the branches. His daughter was hysterically shrieking, stopping and running down after him with blind courage. "_Dad_!"

"Aw, well look at that. Father daughter bonding time," the Iwagakure laughed, "and now…you die together."

With a sickening crunch, she heard the sound of her father's body reaching the ground at last. Jumping down from the tree, she landed next to her father – who was so horribly mangled that she couldn't tell if he was alive or not. He didn't scream and...she wondered if he was already dead. _How could this have happened? _Her father...her father, still and bleeding, his flesh of his legs burnt and his arm just _gone_.

Before she knew it, she was shrieking.

Suddenly, the forest around her joined her in the mayhem. The birds chirped and critters scurrying away, but the most defining sound was the man screaming behind her. But she didn't care. She sobbed as her shaking hands gravitate around her father – but she didn't know what to do. "Dad," she cried, "what do I – God, what do I _do_?"

His voice came like a whisper. "A...kane, I need you to do something." She stopped crying immediately although her eyes were still wet as she promised him anything. She was frightened beyond belief and she needed direction – for God's sake she was _nine_. She didn't have a clue what to do. Her breathing was racing, her heart pounding. "Where is he, the Iwagakure nin?" He asked. She shook her head, her eyes wet. She didn't know. She couldn't hear him. "Okay," his eyes remained close. "I need you to treat my arm.

She whimpered.

"Akane, please," his voice was so faint she thought he was already dead, and yet she felt fingers tighten around her hand comfortingly. "I know you could do it." She shook her head, mumbling incoherently but he continued anyway. "I'll lead you through it. My arm – first, my arm," he said tiredly. "Bandage." She immediately took her kunai and shredded off one of her pant leg. "Do you know how to bandage?" She nodded and wrapped the cotton diagonal down the opposite shoulder and directly over the stump, wrapping it behind and then with the little fabric she had, wrapped it immediately around the arm, circling over the stump and the tiny remains of his bicep and tricep. Blood soaked it immediately, and covered her fingers completely. And yet as she followed through the motion...she found peace. Calmness. Steadiness. She thought about the wind on her face, about the feel of the roll of each sweat, about the sound of crinkling leaves, about the feel of cotton moving beneath her fingers. She continued crossing it until it was nearly all covered up. It was sloppy, it was already darkened with blood...but it would do.

"Good," he said, his voice was breathy and he struggled for a breath. Sweat soaked the cloth of his _hitai-ate_, and he felt dirt and blood on every inch of his body. But with one wound closed, it was notably better. He forced himself to think of the situation at hand, and not at where the enemy went – where _was _he? "Akane, how are you doing?"

She looked up at him, her blue eyes flat as if saying _how could you ask me _that? _He _was the one horrifyingly injured, not her. But there was something nightmarish about treating her father's severed limbs, not when his burnt, charred up leg was laying right next to her. She could see the ruined remains of the fabric around his leg, revealing black and burnt, yellow skin peaking off. Blood crusted, and she swore she could see the tendons.

_Stay calm. Stay calm. "_Don't ask me that," she whispered.

"You did great, bud."

She couldn't hear him. She didn't answer him. She was not okay. A part of her had become numb completely to the reality – to the fact that she was in this forest, to the fact that her hand was covered in blood, to the fact that the enemy was still around...lurking. "We need to get the leg elevated." She paused. "How much do you weigh?"

"Too heavy."

"You lost an arm. You can't move your leg." She said, purely objective.

He opened his eyes, surprised at her tone. She was crying still, and yet her voice was incredibly still. She wasn't shaking anymore.

Something had changed.

xxxxx

"Routine patrols," Minato said as he looked up at the sky. It was getting dark now. "Dosu should be back by now, so let's just go and check."

"But sensei! You said that we get to -"

"Obito," Kakashi cut him off, "shut up."

The young Uchiha glared at the grey haired boy but seeing Minato's solemn expression, he sighed and muttered in defeat before pulling down his goggles. "Fine," he said quietly, looking sideways at Rin for support but she seemed to be okay about trading a chance at the bell test for some boring patrol, "but it's not like we're going to get any excitement."

xxxxx

Akane struggled carrying her father through the forest. Earlier, they must have been sprinting and jumping to the forest for roughly over half an hour. The skies had been a dark indigo then, and now it was pitch black and they were approaching forty five minutes – but not even close. She was breathing heavily. Her father was a two hundred pound man, and even without an arm, it was still a burden to her. She half carried him, holding him up on the side his leg was burnt through. Her arm wrapped just past half way around his waist, and yet she could still feel something dripping on her already crusted fingers.

They were drenched in sweat, and neither talked. Not until an hour passed by and they were still far from the first lines.

"Akane."

His voice was so weak and the sound of it – rough yet quiet – threatened her calmness. She had kept it together _so well _and now with each wobbling step, she had to wonder about the inevitable.

About him bleeding to death.

"I've lost...a lot of..."

"We can stop," she said immediately. Her voice didn't shake, her eyes met his confidently. "I can bandage it for you again -" He said her name again, quietly. Finally she got a good look at him. He was pale, sweating and his skin was cool to the touch. He looked like he was about to faint..and..

_Deep breaths, Akane_. "We're almost there." _Please, dad, don't give up on me. _

He smiled, leaning towards her even more, bringing her close into a one armed embrace but even then – she did not cry. Her eyes widened, her heat beating so loudly on her chest. Nerves crawled and tingled over her face, down her back and she thought for sure that right then and there, he would die, but then -

"Okay," his voice was low, quiet, "let's go."

But it didn't matter. Because the moment they took the next step, her father collapsed.

xxxxx

It was pitch black by the time Team Minato reached the first check point, and although he circled the perimeter personally, he did not find anyone. _Where could they be_? "Alright team, let's move out for another mile." All three of his chunin nodded and he was unbelievably proud of them, at their vigilance. Even Obito who at first did not want to do routine patrols had his eyes sharply looking around for evidence of trespass. There was none. Minato smiled. Obito was impressive, but..."Kakashi, I want you to take the lead."

He smirked behind his mask, nodding, before he leapt ahead.

All he saw were shadows in front of him, and he felt the wind on his face. He had to rely on his sense of smell to pick up on any presence – he was going too fast to use a Chakra sensory technique – but it felt incredibly good for him to be in charge.

Then, he smelt blood.

One hand in the air, he signalled a stop and jumped down branches until his foot landed silently onto the ground and his eyes widened.

"Akan..ne?"

And in front of him was a girl on the ground, curled up with her arms wrapped around her knees next to a dead body.

xxxxx

Blue eyes flashed up and Minato stilled.

_I knew it._

"Dosu," he muttered underneath his breath, hiding his horror. How could this have happened? He _knew _that there was some sort of disturbance, but enough to kill a jonin so close to home? He could have -

Then upon closer examination, he really saw him. The moon played above him, shedding light over a man without an arm, and a leg with a lethal third-degree burn. Immediately, he went down on one knee to pick up the body into his hand. He turned his head, and he saw that Obito was looking at Akane, his eyes watery. Kakashi was staring at her too. It was only Rin that was paying attention to her sensei. He opened his mouth to make orders, but the young chunin beat him to it.

"Rin," Kakashi said, taking control, "I think it's best if you go with Minato-sensei, see if..." he couldn't say help because the man was so obviously _dead_ but he continued anyway, "I can go find the enemy."

For once, Obito didn't protest. "Come on, Akane," he said gently, holding out a hand to her but she ignored it and stood up alone. She didn't look at anyone, only the ground. "Let's go."

Minato saw the mistake clearly. "No," he held their gazes, "Rin and I will take Dosu back to the village. Akane, you must lead Kakashi and Obito to where the enemy was last found, and Kakashi, track him down from there."

"Understood." They all said. Everyone, but Akane. She did not say a single word but she nodded before disappearing. Kakashi and Obito followed after her, and although the Uchiha was tempted to ask _what the hell happened?! _he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not with the strange expression on the once, cheery girl's face.

What took Akane an hour and thirteen minutes to cover took the three of them less than twenty. But she supposed it was faster when a sixty-five pound nine year old girl didn't have to carry a man on her back. In reality, they didn't even need her to point out the direction – there was a trail of blood that led them to the very spot her father had fallen down from a tree. She stopped. "It happened here."

Kakashi walked towards a tree, placing a hand on it while Obito simply stared at Akane. She didn't even look _sad_. She looked empty. As if she was dead already. And after seeing the trail her dad left behind...it only made sense that he died of blood loss, but how long ago? With what he had seen, Akane must have been carrying a corpse for a part of the journey.

He wiped the idea of the little girl carrying her dead father away from his mind.

"There's someone a quarter mile from here, north of us." Kakashi said. "He's not moving." His voice was quiet, professional. "Let's go."

As they move again, Obito ran through all the scenarios in his head: a man with a sword through his stomach, or maybe missing limbs...like Dosu. He must have died of blood loss too, it was common with kenjutsu fights, wasn't it? Or maybe the enemy had a nerve struck and was paralysed. Maybe exhaustion gave him out, or a chakra drain.

But none of that happened. He only had one idea right: there was a man. And he was dead. But it was not from injuries of a physical battle. His eyes were rolled backwards, his mouth gaping, his limbs bent abnormally and drool trailed down his mouth. But that was not what shocked them. It was the fact that he was holding a kunai at his jaw, the blade peeling off the skin. "What the _hell_?" Obito gasped. He looked up at Kakashi, as if confirming the fact that they should all be surprised – and even the usually stoic chunin seemed speechless. And they stood there, staring down at this man.

It was Akane that broke the stillness. She took a step closer and pried the kunai from his lifeless fingers. And then she plunged it into his chest.


	4. Chapter 4: Nightmares

Chapter Four: Nightmares

She couldn't feel anything.

Not when they pulled the sheet over her father, not when they whispered that he lost well over two third of his blood, not when her mother collapsed onto the floor, crying.

Akane could only feel numb.

And when a nurse gently placed a hand on her shoulder, her brown eyes warm yet full of disgusting pity, asking if she will be okay, Akane only turned away. The nurse continued, asking if she needed anything – someone to talk to, water, medical attention?

But her only request was,

"Get me my father's sword."

xxxxx

"I'm here to hand in the report," Minato said, "in Dosu's absence. I gathered as much information as I could from my team that arrived later, and his daughter that was present." He looked up and met the eyes of the old, Third Hokage. "The enemy was compromised, no information was leak. I believe we could call this successful."

The Third made a thoughtful sound as he took the paper into his hands, his eyes on the young blonde. "Thank you for taking charge of the situation, Minato," Hiruzen said as his eyes scanned the report, skidding by the fact that there was a fatality. He stopped when he saw the name of the daughter, Akane Mikuzen, on the file. And then he saw picture of the Iwagakure nin. "Was this Dosu's work?"

At this, the future Hokage cleared his throat. "Well...that's the problem. We don't know how he died."

"Your student, Kakashi, reported that Akane stabbed him."

"Yes, that's true but he also made it clear that he was dead when they found them. It was...an act of revenge."

"But prior to this?"

"I'm sorry, Lord Hokage, but I don't have an answer. From what Obito stated, there was little to no physical damage inflicted on him. There was an injury to the abdomen, but it was not serious enough for him to bleed to death."

Pause.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying," Minato leaned in close, "I believe that it was Akane that killed him. The first time."

The Third Hokage's eyes sharpened and he leaned back into his chair. Akane – the girl? He remembered her during the Graduation ceremony several weeks ago and during the process of selecting genin squads. He knew that her genjutsu had high potential, and that her taijutsu was refined – not too strong, not too fast, but she was skilled – but she was easily distracted and relatively young.

"It's my speculation but," Minato continued, "I had the man identified and he was a part of the explosion corps from Iwagakure. We know that, jonin or not, Dosu's speciality was short-range weapons, which is not compatible with the kekkei genkai found in the group." He paused. "Lord Hokage, I know this may sound above the skills of a genin, but I suspect that her genjutsu had somehow...horrified the enemy to the point where he caused himself physical pain to release himself from it. He had been scraping away at his _skin_. It's well above genin skill to cause a physical reaction from an illusion jutsu, but in times of high distress, it _may _be possible."

The Third Hokage knew that this idea was not implausible, but yet..."This skill is well beyond genin, _and_ chunin, Minato, this is a high praise."

"Praise, or observation?" Minato countered.

"What do you propose to do about this then?"

"Train her, of course," Minato frowned, "her father is dead. We both know that sometimes, training is the best way to direct any anger or sadness. This ability needs to be harnessed. Nurses at the hospital already see symptoms of psychological trauma and if she has the ability to cause such damage...it needs to be controlled."

It made sense, but there was no resources that the Hokage could expend at this time. He sighed, and rubbed his face. "We are in the midst of the Third Shinobi War, Minato. We are already speeding up the process of graduation so that we have more me -" he stopped. He was about to say _men _but that was horribly untrue. They were sending children to war, and he knew this well, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. "More military strength," he said instead, "we even have chunin being in charge of squads because of this. From what you're telling me, we need at least a jonin to help her but I can't -"

"It doesn't have to be a jonin," he interrupted, "we need someone proficient in genjutsu, that's all."

"And who do you suggest?"

Minato didn't hesitate. "An Uchiha." This was the most obvious answer.

After all, who better to train a girl with a genjutsu capable of murder than the very people who wielded the Sharingan.

xxxxx

There was no funeral. There were hardly any when shinobi died – it was a part of the job, after all. Especially during a time like this, where the Third Shinobi War was raging. There was a grave with her father's name engraved, and flowers that her mother left this morning. That was it.

Akane had no idea where Minami was. She had not seen her once since she returned to Konoha twenty hours ago. She didn't know if her mother was avoiding her, but then again, Akane had been hiding. She didn't want to go to her mom – she couldn't imagine being comforted by the idea. She thought that her mother would be sickened of the fact that it was _she _that pursed her dad to take up the patrol shift, that it was _her _fault by not running, that it was _her _weakness for not getting him back to Konoha fast enough before he bled to death.

And on some level, that was all true.

But a small voice in her head told her to remain calm, to not break down. That it was not her fault. It was the enemy's. And she had her revenge. She didn't know _how _he died, but...she felt the disgustingly cruel satisfaction of driving the metal between the flesh and bones of his dead chest anyway.

Killing him kept her sane.

She could only imagine her mental state right now if she did not have the gratification of inflicting pain on the man that killed her father, whether or not he was alive to feel it. For now, it would do. It calmed her, it gave her closure.

She heard footsteps shuffle behind her.

"I had a feeling you would be here."

Kakashi.

God, the things she would have given months ago to have him say those words – any words – to her in that quiet tone but now, it was worthless. She turned around, wincing slightly. It was dawn now, and she once would have had a ridiculous smile on her face at the image of Kakashi, the setting sun behind him that lit the tips of his hair to an almost golden tone, but now all she could think about was how he found her. "What do you want? I already gave you the details of my report."

Kakashi stared at her, trying to understand where she was coming from...and he did. He woke up one night to find his father – the honourable, great, powerful White Fang – curled up in a disgraceful, _dead _ball by his feet, after all. Sakumo Hatake had been the man he looked up to above all, the man he loved, the perfect father, the perfect mentor, the perfect friend, a perfect shinobi. And he fell from grace and Kakashi had a new drive: to never be like him. He had something to focus on.

But what did Akane have – aside from revenge?

"Minato was looking for you. He wants to talk to you."

He thought she would object but something in her face changed. She stood up. "Where?"

It was strange. This would have been the ideal response but he didn't expect her to co-operate...it seemed too mature. "At the -"

"I'm right here." Neither of them reacted at the sudden appearance of the blonde haired man with a solemn expression on his face. "Kakashi, if you don't mind..." His student nodded, giving Akane one last, narrowed eye and lingering look before disappearing. Slowly, Minato walked closer to her. "Akane, I want you to listen to me very closely." She wasn't looking at him, she was looking at her father's name with a glassy eyed stare. "The way you handled the situation was very admirable. You were highly co-operative. You followed protocol, and I'm impressed that someone who is so young and with little experience is able to control their reaction as well as you had." She didn't listen to any of his compliments. "With this in mind, the Hokage and I think it would be in your best interest to have a teacher."

She only heard the last part. "I have one."

"A private teacher."

"Why?"

He paused. "Was it you that killed the Iwa-nin?"

"I don't know."

"There was genjutsu involved."

She didn't respond.

"Regardless, the offer is still on the table." Minato was curious now. How much did this girl know of her genjutsu? He wanted to explore the extent of her ability personally but knew that he didn't have a great enough expertise. He knew of several people with family and clan knowledge, kekkei genkais with such an overwhelmingly realistic genjutsu...but Akane came from a relatively normal upbringing. What could have possibly turned her illusionary genjutsu her sensei was training her, into something that cause death? "Just think about it."

She turned away, closing her eyes.

_I killed that man. I killed him. _

xxxxx

She woke up screaming.

Shadows.

_Everywhere_. They were everywhere and they were consuming everything. The light that spilled from the window, cast by the moon, instead poured out this black, smoky living _thing. _They were creeping down the curtains. They were covering the entrance and where it touched, the wood cracked under pressure as if an invisible force was hammering at it.

But it _wasn't _invisible.

"Get away from me, get _away from me_!" She shouted, kicking her blanket. Crying out, she slammed into the door, trying to unlock it with shaking, desperate hands but there was that same, pitch black, almost _thick _substance surrounding it and she yanked her hand back as if it had burned her.

Then she heard foot steps down the hall way and she punched the door over and over, screaming out for her father.

Instead, it was her mother on the other side. "Akane! Akane, open the door! What's going -"

But she was screaming hysterically as her fist clashed into the door and the shadow use it as a grip, now snaking its way up her arm and spreading up to her face. She was choking on it. Gagging, she let go of the door, trying to find a spot that wasn't slicked in this oil-lack black but -

Her heart was racing, but she knew what to do.

By the time her mother got the door open, the green eyed woman screamed as her daughter raced towards the window, shattering the glass and jumped out. And she screamed as she followed after her, screamed as she looked out the window to see Akane on the ground, two stories down, and fainted when blood began to pool.

xxxxx

_Post Traumatic Stress Disorder._

_Major Depressive Disorder._

_Psychosis._

_Suicide._

All the words were thrown around as Minami Mikuzen anxiously paced around her daughter's hospital room. First, her husband was dead. And then, her only daughter, jumped out the window. When a team of ANBU later investigated, they found absolutely nothing wrong at the scene – whatever it was that Minami heard Akane shouting at, it did not exist. But it was real enough to her that the little girl thought the only way to escape it was to jump out the window. Miraculously, there were no broken bones, no ruptures, no concussion. There were only bruises and scrapes, all taken care of and healed within the hour from medical ninjutsu. "She should be released by tomorrow," the nurse said. "I'm sorry, I know that with everything you've been through -"

"What caused it?" Minami asked instead. It had only been a day since her husband died, and yet it looked as if she had aged a year. The lovely Minami Mikuzen, in which Akane inherited a generous amount of her looks, had her puffy eyes ringed in red, her face gaunt, her hair a mess. The tremor did not go unnoticed, no matter how often she crossed her arms.

"It wasn't...real. There are no signs or explanation _physically_. But her chakra flow was regulating itself, so we suspect it may be some sort of genjutsu."

"You said there was no one else there," Minami said in a low, shaking voice. The nurse looked conflicted.

"It may be...self inflicted."

"How is that even _possible_?"

The nurse looked at the door, her eyebrows pulled together. "I don't know," she said quietly, "I really don't." But there was one thing that she did know, and that it was Akane Mikuzen had to be monitored. She had to be on suicide watch.

xxxxx

Akane looked like hell.

That was the first thing the Uchiha saw when he arrived on the Training Guide upon the famous Yellow Flash's request: a tiny, sickly looking girl. Shisui Uchiha, being a relatively tall fifteen year old, had to look down at the orange haired girl. Not only did her hair shined with oil and was unkempt in a messy ponytail, but her skin was pale, even by Uchiha standards. Her eyes were wide that was far from evidence of alertness, but rather he suspected she was in the state of sleep-deprived wakefulness. Not only that, but he could see where bruises on her face was yellowing and bandages peeling as if she hadn't replaced them in a long time.

"My name is Shisui," he said cautious, "and I was told that I'm teaching you genjutsu."

"Shisui Uchiha?" She asked hesitantly. She sounded drained.

"Does it matter?"

"I wouldn't have brought it up if it didn't." And now, the irritable phase.

"Please don't be difficult."

"I don't want to do this."

"So why did you agree?"

She couldn't answer. She looked at the ground, rubbing her hand. Why did she agree? Because a week ago, she had gone _absolutely insane _and jumped out the window. Because she had woken up and fervently every night since then, believing that she was dying. That the world was being consumed in black and everyone was trying to kill her. That she had woken up, ripping out her hair and clawing at her eyes before curling up in a ball, sobbing and hiding it all from her mother.

She was going crazy, and she knew it.

"Because I have to." Because they said that she was unconsciously casting a genjutsu on her own mind. And until she fully understood how to discern her subconscious and conscious, she wouldn't be able to control her chakra. And if she couldn't, then every day, she would be living in her very own nightmare.

"I see," he frowned. "What happened?" He asked, as his eyes ran down her face and arms.

"I jumped out the window."

His eyes narrowed. He couldn't tell if she was serious or not. "And why would you do that?"

"The same reason why I'm here."

"I see." He really didn't.

xxxxx

When Minato called Kakashi to meet up with him at four o'clock sharp, he did not expect it to be about this. "I don't understand why _I _have to train her," Kakashi said, his eyes narrowed. Minato sighed.

"You are becoming a jonin in several weeks, Kakashi, and one of the duties performed at this rank is teaching others." Minato reminded him with a frown. Ever since the incident with Dosu and his daughter in the forest three weeks ago, Minato had a voice in the back of his head reminding him of a destructive, and broken mind. It worsened when he heard that Akane tried to kill herself – supposedly. It sounded suspicious, but Minato was almost sure that it was her subconscious inflicting the very same jutsu she used on the enemy back into her mind. Then there was the Hokage, telling him that this was a skill – a skill that could terrorize their opponents. She was under serious consideration of promotion to chunin so that she could enter the war - on a squad with much older, experienced shinobi, of course. But first, she had to refine her skills that was not up to par.

All the while Minato tried not to be upset with the fact that they were weaponizing a nine year old girl who had _just _lost her father.

"Look, Kakashi, it's a two week training process. Immediately afterwards, you will be evaluated and promoted to my rank."

His eyes brightened at the idea of it all – just _two weeks_? Two weeks until he reached his father's level.

"What do I need to do?"

xxxxx

When Kakashi stepped into the field, his first thought was - w_hat type of training is this_? In front of him sat Akane, staring straight into a dark haired boy's Sharingan. He knew this boy – Shisui the Teleporter, of the Uchiha clan. It took him three seconds to realize that Akane was learning to fight genjutsu. Her lips were slightly parted and her light blue eyes had almost a dazed look and Kakashi couldn't help but watch.

Two minutes slipped by him, and at last, a movement: Shisui flinched.

And with that, Akane gasped for air and slumped over, her face falling into her hands.

"Good job," Shisui said coolly, "you've improved."

She was still panting, unable to reply. His eyes, now shifting back to a regular black, turned to Kakashi that approached them with hesitance. "You must be the other mentor," he said as he stood up. He didn't held out his hand. Instead, he simply nodded before disappearing. _So that's why they call them the Teleporter_. Kakashi turned to Akane.

A part of him could not believe that he had to do this. It was the vain part of him, the one that wondered why he had to improve someone else's skill when he should be improving his own. But the reasonable side of him acknowledged that there was a change in this girl – and he had noticed it, subtly at first, after hearing that she had trained briefly with Gai. But then again, remembering the challenges that the bushy-browed presented, Gai wasn't very skilled either. He had raw strength, sure, but it was nothing in comparison to Kakashi.

"So you're my new teacher?" She asked in a dry tone. With the way she talked, it didn't sound like she had just lost her father.

"It appears so." He crossed his arms, looking down at her. "I read your files."

"Oh, really." She didn't sound like she cared at all and he wondered if her mind was still partially in another world. He heard that the Sharingan could create an illusion world, created by the user.

"61 out of 100 for targeting, and only the required three ninjutsu techniques. No more, and no less." He recited but he also did not mention that she scored the highest in assertiveness and genjutsu.

"I received my report, I don't need you repeating it," she said rather sharply, her eyes flickered up to him. He was taken back by her attitude. She was never this...what was the word. Snappy? Not quite. More like direct. She was so often timid and eager to please around him. But then again, he supposed this was understandable. She was going through the anger phase of grief.

"I want you be completely aware of where you are standing so we can begin training on your weaknesses." He explained. "Long range weapons seems to be your low point."

"It _is _my weak point." She clarified, standing up.

"Pick up a kunai."

"I don't have any."

He stared at her. "Are you serious?" He asked slowly, almost coldly.

"Yes." She held up her hands and indeed, she was serious. What type of shinobi _didn't _carry any weapons on them? It was the most common tool and yet – there was no point being upset over this. Only a flicker of annoyance was evidence in his eyes before he reached behind him and he thought against throwing the weapon at her. Instead, he walked towards her and placed it on her hands. His fingers brushed against hers, and she stared at him all the while, wondering to herself, why she could not be happy at the first ever time he had touched her.

xxxxx

When the huge, towering man stepped out of his former sensei's office – he did not expect to see this tiny little girl with bright copper hair, wearing the most precocious expression on her face. Jiraiya blinked, before bending down. "Are you looking for some one, little girl?" He asked, openly curious. Surely she didn't need to see -

"Don't call me little girl," she said immediately, her blue eyes flashing up to him. Distractedly, Jiraiya thought that when this one grew up, she would look..."And I'm looking for the Hokage. So if you don't -"

"Alright, alright," he said calmly, waving at his hand. "Go on right in. Geesh, I was just trying to be friendly -"

But before he could continue, she ducked under his arm and went right in.

xxxxx

"Akane," the Third Hokage said, his eyes softening. He removed his hat, and made a motion to stand up so that he could talk to the young girl on a more personal level but she took a step forward. Her eyes were staring at him with the steady gaze of a jonin, not at all looking like a child that should be mourning the death of her father only ten days earlier. Or in fact, like a suicidal child.

And then she said one thing he would never expect.

"I don't want to be a chunin," she told him, "I don't want to do petty missions, I don't want to farm, I don't want to follow anyone, I don't want to guard, I don't want to transport, I don't want to retrieve anything, I don't want to track."

She didn't even have to narrow it down. He knew exactly what she had in mind.

"Then you should train," he said through narrowed eyes, "prove to me you have the ability to do it."

To join the ANBU Black Ops.


	5. Chapter 5: To Be A Ninja

Chapter Five: To Be A Ninja

_One year later_

The Third Shinobi War changed everyone. It gave people reputation, it inspired new motivations…but more than anything, it aged people. The ten year old girl stared down at her thin fingers as it slid over the smooth porcelain mask. Even after two months, she was never the same.

It took her ten months, exactly, to bring her levels up to a passable consideration into the ANBU force. Deep inside, she knew that an exception was made. She was never as good as a jonin, barely a chunin - it was all because of the circumstances. Konoha was running low, and if an opportunity wrapped up in a copper haired girl who could make even jonin-level nin shriek and render them incapable of doing a single thing...the Hokage was going to accept it. Even _if _she wasn't the strongest, even _if _her ninjutsu arsenal were the basic jutsus. But her genjutsu was a gem, and he could not pass it up.

The past six weeks had numbed her completely. But that wasn't exactly true – the past year, since her father's death – had numbed her, but this guaranteed her a life of constant detachment. She had accompanied squads of ANBU on exactly eight missions, and on each one, she had cast a genjutsu a quarter mile away – freezing the enemy – and making the kill impossibly easy for the rest of her squad. She was the reason why suddenly the target froze – unable to move. No contact was made, no elaborate ingredients into their food, no risk of a close-range paralysis jutsu. Akane simply stood behind the squad and disrupted the chakra flow, and then all the enemy could see were shadows. Devouring him.

And one by one, they fell.

And each time, more of her mind was lost and sanity slipped away from her.

That was all she was there for.

Not once had she complained, not once had she strayed a part from her duty. She was the perfect weapon. She allowed herself to be used, she was not a hindrance, she was not dead weight. She did her task at hand, and she went on to the next one. She had helped them kill criminals, she had helped them killed mercenary groups, mofias, all of it. And not once had anyone went to the hospital while she was on the team.

But this was the first time she would be going on a solo mission. This would be the first time since the Iwagakure-nin that she was truly going to have the experience of killing another. And with her father's sword strapped to her back, she knew that this first kill _will _not affect her. She will not break. She would finish the mission, and she would wait for her next command.

Now, as Akane placed on the mask, she was simply a robot working under Konoha's order during the Third Shinobi War. She left her apartment wearing her full ANBU gear. The village stared at this tiny little thing that was covered in armour. And something about it was frightening.

She, along with other ANBU and higher-up Konoha members gathered at the Hokage's office. She wasn't exactly sure why and she wasn't awfully curious. Usually, they just gave her a location, and she would set out there and do her job with a squad. She took her place behind the Sandaime and watched as several ninjas walk by.

And there was Kakashi.

God, things have changed.

He was thirteen, and although older than her, was the youngest among the shinobi. The Third Hokage began informing them of their jonin-promotion. It was a rank she would never achieve, and she was well aware of that. Being a jonin required skill in all arts, being a leader. She was a tool they used to making killing easier, swifter. Akane watched silently as Kakashi, knelt down before the Hokage. They exchanged words, but it was clear his mind was elsewhere. Slowly, as he got up, he looked at the ANBU member.

It was ridiculous, the comparison. He ___or she _was shorter than everyone in the room, but there was an aura that exuded from that person that made Kakashi wary. He recognized the ANBU as a girl, and something about her silhouette was familiar…

And being the genius he was, Kakashi finally recognized her.

xxxxx

"Where's Kakashi?"

"I don't know…I'm a bit worried though."

"...You are?"

"Don't tell him I said that! But come on, he's later than ___me_."

"We should ___all_ be worried."

xxxxx

The silver-haired boy was standing outside a door that just slammed shut. He had simply asked where Akane Mikuzen was when the copper-haired woman froze. She had swallowed and looked down before shaking her head and closing the door quickly, he was curious. It took her five minutes to find her – much too easy, he thought, for someone who wore the ANBU outfit.

More so, because she wasn't hiding.

"Mikuzen." He said, in clip tone, his dark eyes narrowed. The person behind the ANBU masked looked up, but did not speak. "I know it's you." He didn't even know why he felt the need to confront her, but it just wasn't logical that one moment, he was telling her about the alignment of her arm in accordance to aim – and now she was _better _than him? He wasn't _that _good of a teacher.

She reached behind her head and loosened the strings, pulling off the mask, tousling up her copper hair that was tied up. As soon as Kakashi saw the look in her eyes, it was the exact same one from a year ago. Nothing had changed, and yet everything had. This was not the same girl."You should get going," she said, almost in a whisper. Her tone was soft but her eyes challenging, daring him to patronize her, "your first mission is to Kannabi Bridge. Don't mess it up." And then she disappeared.

xxxxx

"Hm," Minato said thoughtfully, looking down at the young, oddly silent new jonin. Kakashi was never the talkative one, but at the moment, he seemed more withdrawn than usual. It ___had_ to do with the reason why he was late. "Did something happen?"

Kakashi was hesitant, and his eyes flicker towards Rin who was walking close to next him, and then back at Obito who was walking eagerly in front. They weren't in enemy territory yet, but the only thing that prevented him from talking was the fact that he didn't want to gossip.

His hands clenched and he found himself glaring in front of him. She told him not to mess up the mission - and he wasn't going to. Not a chance. Kannabi Bridge will fall, and he will show Akane what a truly great ninja he was. After all, he was Kakashi Hatake.

xxxxx

_Five hours later_

xxxxx

"This is your first solo mission, Viper."

She didn't look at their eyes.

"Do not hesitate."

Softly. "I understand."

xxxxx

"He was a hero, you know. I've always thought so."

Kakashi looked away.

"Well, I'm going to go get Rin – with or without you."

xxxxx

Akane stared straight into the eye of the children, into the family. Her emotions were behind a mask – and not just the ANBU one. She pulled off the porcelain cover and for the briefest second, the young child felt a glimmer of chance of seeing this lovely little girl. His wide, frightened eyes meet her emotionless blue ones as his hopeful smile began to slip from his face.

xxxxx

Kakashi waited, still and alert as he raised his blade at eye level. It was just the two of them now. Rin was gone, and he ___had _to watch out for Obito. There was no way the Uchiha could pull this off without his help. He was the only one that could get her back now. The dark green forest around them created too much of a protection for the enemy, and he had to be more careful than usual – especially since it was his teammate's life on the line. "W-Where is he?" Obito asked, shaken. Kakashi shifted, sensing the slightest air disruption and picked up his scent-

"Obito, behind you!" Kakashi moved to protect his comrade but he was a second to slow and a blade shot up, slicing his left eye, blood splattering as he fell to the ground. "My eye!" He shouted as his hands covered the injury. An overwhelming sense of pain of feeling exposed erupted from his eyes. He fell, groaning. ___Breathe, Kakashi, breath._Kakashi had to force himself to remain calm for Obito's sake and to explain happening, but the Uchiha boy was trembling, on the verge of tears.

___I have to stay calm…or else Obito is going to lose it…and I'm not even sure how long I can keep it together._ Slowly, he removed his hand over his eye, shaking just slightly but kept his single black eye steady on the boy. He felt blood down his waterline, onto his cheeks."Don't tell me you've gotten something in your eyes again," he said dryly. Even though he sounded sure of himself and normal, his eyes were winced and he couldn't get a grip of himself quite yet. ___Stay in there, Kakashi. _"I'm not dead yet."

xxxxx

"M-miss!" The little boy cried out, pleadingly. The mother sobbed, holding her two children close to her chest, covering their heads. She didn't feel her children's innocent hope – she had the motherly instinct, and immediately knew that she still had to protect her kin. The enemy's appearance was deceiving – she was a murderer. The father, the mole of the village and the reason _why _Akane was there, held his family in his arms.

His protectiveness over his loved one was admirable, but it was futile. Akane didn't change her expression. The assignment was to eliminate the entire family. She didn't ask why she could not spare the two children. She simply did nothing. And she forced herself to ___feel_ nothing as she walked towards them, locking her cobalt eyes towards them.

She whispered two words.

_I'm sorry. _

And she slaughtered them all. There was only one choir of a horrified shriek before Akane jerked a sword into their chests, one by one and the entire family was dead and Akane Mikuzen was the one responsible.

xxxxx

After the sound of rocks colliding, Kakko, the Iwagakure ninja settled on a log and sighed. Just when he thought his run in with the Konoha ninjas were over, he saw the little kid appear from a branch. "Still alive?" The brown haired man muttered, standing up. Despite his aloof attitude, he found it odd he did not hear the White Fang's son's echoes from his movement. This was suspicious; he narrowed his eyes at the boy. "You're a stubborn one."

Kakashi ignored him, his eyes closed, bandage ripped off.

___Stubborn?_

Obito was stubborn. And now, he was crushed under a rock. Despite himself, he felt tears sting his eyes and roll down his cheeks, through his mask. Somewhere, Rin was holding the hands of her dying teammate tightly.

"But in the end, you're just a kid." Kakko spat, glaring at the child. "Why is a shinobi crying? Come on, you crybaby. It's time to end this."

Cry baby?

At last, Kakashi opened his eyes, revealing one still black eye and the Sharingan, a sharp contrast of red. Obito's eye. The enemy gasped slightly at the sight of at the child with the fearsome kekkei genkai as Kakashi stared down on him, broken but determined. ___This isn't good. _Then, slowly at first but then with a speed hard to follow, Kakashi pulled out his sword. He locked eyes with the enemy, the Sharingan giving him clarity like never before. And the next instant, Kakashi slashed his father's sword down towards the ninja and shattered into two pieces. As one of the shards flew through the air, his hands made quick hand signs and the chidori blazed alive. In a chaos of blinding blue sparks, he sped towards the enemy, colliding into him with a mass of cobalt flashes.

Dead. Just like that.

xxxxx

"Congratulations on another mission successfully completed, Minato," the ninja bowed at the blonde future Yondaime. Minato didn't smile. Instead, he looked back at his squad of only two now, and at Kakashi, whose bandaged eye was staring at the ground with a hopeless gaze. Rin avoided looking at anyone. Death was always hard, but death of the first teammate was the worst to endure.

Several ANBU and medic-nins were at the arrival. They escorted the two traumatized young ninjas to the hospital immediately for a physical inspection, and on Minato's recommendation, a psychological check up as well. Rin sat in front of a kind lady who spoke words that Rin couldn't hear, couldn't understand. "Come on, dear, eat something, at least water."

"Water?" Rin repeated, too disorientated. Reality was too hard to grasp for the young girl. ___Obito's gone, he's gone forever…_

The nurse bit her lip. "He'll be okay, dear. Worry for yourself."

Her heart swelled up and tears bit the back of her eyes. "___Okay_?" How could Obito be ___okay_, he was dead! And – she stopped. She had almost forgotten. The nurse was talking about the boy she once loved, the boy she could never look at quite the same.

Every time she looked at Kakashi, she saw Obito – crushed underneath the rock. Half of him underneath the rubble, the other covered in blood.

xxxxx

"Did you hear? Kakashi has the Sharingan…the only non-Uchiha with it."

"As in Kakashi ___Hatake_? This kid is lucky."

"Lucky? Barely. He'll be hated by the Uchihas." They laughed, never once thinking about the boy who lost his friend, only about the boy who completed a mission and obtained the envied-upon kekkei genkai. "Still, at least it's guaranteed…he'll be a legend." They suddenly stilled when from their peripheral of their eyes, they saw a blonde man talking solemnly to a little girl, who had her mask at her fingertips and light blue eyes glued to the ground.

xxxxx

Rin looked up nervously as a little, orange haired girl walked into the room. She exhaled when she recognized the face. "My condolences for Obito's death," Akane said softly. Her tone wasn't quite insincere but there was no heart in it. Still, there was an undeniable sadness in her unwavering blue eyes. It was hard for her to seem genuine after her first solo mission to Kusogakure.

When Minato had filled her on in earlier, the only thing she thought was ___I could have easily been the ninja sent to guard the forest that Obito died in._

_And her second thought was that again, Iwagakure had taken away someone from her. _

Rin bit down on her lip, forcing her eyes to fight back against the sting of tears. "He came to save me…" she looked down, unable to blame Kakashi but only herself.

"It was for a good cause, then." Akane stated. Over the past two months, she had seen things. She had seen the truth of people's character moments before their deaths. Some were despicable, some ran. Others were honourable, and they defended others. They gave their lives to protect someone – even if that someone was just as horrible and cruel.

She wondered how she would die. Sometimes, she felt self-destructive. It led her to do rash things, things that would get her killed. But she needed that sense of fear and pain or else she would feel like one of her shadows – just another thing on the wall, behind the light, behind the boss. She would most likely die a stupid, pointless death, but nowadays, she didn't mind."If he had to choose how to die, I'm sure he wouldn't mind die saving his teammate."

Rin stared down at her, wondering how someone so young can be so old. Rin imagined the little girl, a little over a year ago, hugging her knees as she stared at her father's dead body in that dark, dark forest. "How do you do it?" She asked, her voice quiet. "How do you talk about death so normally?" Rin had been on her fair share of missions, but death shook her each time. Obito and she couldn't handle blood on her hands, it had always been Kakashi doing the dirty work. She could barely even ___admit _that Obito died, let alone talk with the nonchalance that Akane had.

"So normally?" She repeated. She didn't know how to respond. "I don't know."

And then she left, passing by a silver haired boy with a bandage over his left eye. She nodded to him briefly but he did not react.

She reeked of blood. And he did not like that one bit.

xxxxx

_Three months later_

_xxxxx_

Kakashi had his fingers dug into his palms to hide his shaky hands the moment he walked into the hospital. _Do not show weakness. _

But it wasn't weakness that made his hands shake. It was disgust. Disgust that those very hands were the ones that had pierced through Rin Nohara's chest. But it _was _weakness – his inability to _think –_ that made Minato force him to talk to the head of the psychological unit of the hospital. He had been here only once before, and it was immediately after they discovered his father's dead body.

His father. Obito. Rin.

All gone.

He wondered who was next -

"...the thing was, I didn't feel _bad_."

He recognized that voice immediately.

"Is it normal? That I didn't? I – I never go astray. I've followed every objective. No more, no less. But...it was an emergency. They had to be eliminated. They were the side factor of the mission I couldn't risk."

It was Akane – it had to be. He stopped immediately in the dimly lit corridor, standing outside the room. It was four in the morning, and almost no one was around. Even with the war going on, this unit was never as busy compared to the rest and did not need constant supervision. Silence was so dense and yet, the echoes of this girl's voice was a whisper beneath it.

"I'm not allowed to know the details of the mission, Akane," said a very tired, sounding woman, "but I trust your judgement. If you thought it was necessary and must be done, then it was the shinobi thing to do to put your emotions aside and carry it out."

"That's the thing." She paused, her voice so quiet that if not for Kakashi's heightened senses, perhaps he would not have heard. "I didn't have to put my emotions aside. I knew I had to do it, and I did. It was like I wasn't even there."

There was another pause. "Do you know what depersonalization is, Akane?"

An even longer pause. "Do you think I'm crazy?"

"I think that you are too young for the life you lead. You've been through many things that even by shinobi standards, are quite traumatic, all that you are getting over too easily." Kakashi strained to hear more, but all he heard was a name – Minami? - before there was the loud, screeching noise of a chair being pushed back. Then he heard footsteps and before he could leave, he remembered that there was a reason why he was here.

He watched as Akane walk out. A girl, shorter than him, in the ANBU uniform he always associated the very best with. It looked strange on her. Her eyes flickered up to him. "What are you doing here?" She asked, looking down both side of the hallway. Even in the poorly lit hallway, he could not get past how much she changed. Her skin was pale, but not desired, porcelain pale, but almost white and translucent to the point where he could see blood vessels beneath. Her eyes were intensely blue, made more prominent by the fact that she had bruise like shadows under her eyes as if she had not slept for a year. Her skin was tight over the bones of her face and it looked...wrong. Maybe if she was older, she could have been passed by easier. But this should not be the face of someone three years younger than him.

But even if she did look sick, it didn't matter to him. "It's none of your business."

She studied him closer, and she heard the door widen behind her. The doctor, Kaori, was about to say something until Akane beat her to it. "Something happened to you."

He blinked, and then he looked away, his eyebrows pulling together slightly. And in that tiny movement, she saw two emotions that she easily recognized: guilt, and shame. "You killed someone, didn't you." It wasn't a question.

His eye flashed sharply to her. "Mind your own business, Mikuzen," he repeated through his teeth.

Anger? Defensiveness? It was someone close to him -

"Rin," she said quietly, her eyes staring into him as if she realized something great and true. Even in the dark hallway, he could see the pale colour of her eyes, widening. Something desperate - and he hated it. They were surprised, smug – as if she found out something horrible in him that she shared as well. "You killed Rin."

And then she _smiled_.

Turning her back slightly to Kaori, she said, "you have a lot cut out for you." And then she walked by him, and never before had he wanted to hit a girl until that moment.


	6. Chapter 6: Disasters

Chapter Six - Disasters

_One year later_

"So I get to babysit, huh?"

Akane shot the white haired man a look before crossing her arms. "I am an official ANBU member, you know," she protested, ignoring the brief look she received from the Third. "And you were the one requesting to investigate this 'laboratory', you know that any cases that has to do with the citizens of Konoha with this high of a casualty count means that -"

"I know, I know, that there is an ANBU present."

Akane didn't respond, instead, she looked at the former Third Hokage. Almost a year ago, he had retired his reign as the longest-standing Hokage and passed the power on to Minato Namikaze. She was not at all surprised. In fact, she was pleased that the young shinobi that had helped her countless times was given the prestigious role. But although he was the Hokage, with everything that was going on with the missing children and the high suspicion that it was on the jonin next to her and the former Hokage in front of her's friend: Orochimaru. As an active ANBU member, she was well aware of the kidnaps going on but since she was much younger than the rest of the organization, she didn't know much about this Orochimaru character so she couldn't form her own theory about the entire situation. "Is it just us two then?" She asked. She had known Jiraiya for a year now, and she knew that he secretly took a liking to her despite the fact that he was condescending since she was less than half his age.

"I just need you to investigate and confirm if this is, in fact, the area where the children are being sent to."

"How many have gone missing to date?" Jiraiya asked, seriously now.

"Sixty now," Akane replied, "all around ages five to ten."

Hiruzen turned to his former student. "Jiraiya, are you sure about this? You _are_ going to another country and I want you to be absolutely sure."

"I'm sure." Jiraiya said in a strange voice. Akane looked up at him curiously.

"And how do you know?"

"Because," the Sannin said as he turned around, "forty eight corpses were found there."

xxxxx

When Akane left with Jiraiya to east of the village, bordering the other nation, she didn't say a word. She perfected her image of an ANBU member despite her size – fast, silent, her face hidden behind the porcelain mask. Her only defining feature was her hair, that was tied up in a pony tail and kept out of the way. And although she knew that age and ranking held no real place among ANBU, she couldn't help but feel inferior racing through the forests next to the Legendary Sannin.

He didn't look like much, but Akane was no fool.

It was not until they, at last after several hours of continuous movement, reached an area where the trees began to become less dense and rocks and mountains and caves appeared more often that she slowed down. "We're here," Jiraiya signalled with hand gestures. She nodded, following closely behind him as the once straight path became more twisted until she wondered if he was lost. But eventually they reached a cliff. He pointed down and behind the mask, she closed her eyes exasperatedly but she nodded anyway.

Silently and still in stealth mode, the two made a single hand seal before leaving the cover of the trees, making them camouflage into the mountainous terrain. But camouflage was not the same thing as invisibility so for good measure, Akane covered a light genjutsu that made them completely invisible to any shinobi in a half mile radius. It was a common technique she learned during her first several months as ANBU. After all, she was usually the one kept behind and while fighting, sometimes the camouflage would be undone and the mission could be compromised for the entire squad.

Jiraiya jumped over the cliff first, placing chakra over his hands as he slowly climbed down and she followed suit. Silently, they abseiled down the slanting cliff. Her gloves covered her fingertips, making it slightly less comfortably as she could not feel the sturdy rock she held on to, but in a matter of minutes, they reach a ledge and Jiraiya pointed downwards.

A river.

In other words, where the bodies were disposed. She looked up to him, as if to ask _should I check_? But he shook his head and motioned with his head to continue left until eventually, they reach an entrance several feet below. She jumped down first, angling her body so that her feet land on the ground that was located inside the mountain.

And then she spoke for the first time in eight hours.

"Shit."

xxxxx

Jiraiya shoved her backwards, biting down on his thumb. "I got this!" He exclaimed.

_He can't be that much of an idiot_. "No!" But he was. "Stop! Summoning a toad will collapse the whole building!"

_Of course _that would be his first idea though. But she couldn't blame him. With his strength in summonings, it would only make sense to bring a giant told to the scene when faced with a giant _snake_. It was huge – huge and long to the point where its very purple, scaly body blocked the entrance. At least they knew that they were at the right place...and that it was most likely Orochimaru behind this.

Jiraiya grunted. "I'll handle this, obviously this ugly thing is hiding something. I'll distract it while you go ahead."

"Understood."

Suddenly he used a fire type jutsu, spewing out flames from his mouth and Akane raced fourth, running on the jagged ceiling of the roof as far as she can until she reached where the snake was – instead of dodging it – slithering to swallow the fire whole. Regardless, the distraction worked and she got past the snake, only to be realize there was no ground past the beast but another tunnel leading directly down. "There's a hole! I'll forward!" She screamed out, not waiting for a response. Releasing the chakra at her feet, she dropped down, her arms crossing to cover her face as the wind whipped her hair back. Before she reached the ground, one arm moved back and her fingers circled around the hilt of her father's sword.

The tips of her toe met the ground first, followed by the bent of her knee to cushion the blow. There was a draft directly in front of her, and it seemed to the only passage. Using another common ANBU technique, she created a ball of light on her palm that lit up the cave.

And she swore again.

There were at least two dozen children, all chained up against the walls. It was a scene right out of a horror story. There were shackles, blood, and metal beds – but only one child on it. Sickly thin children, all with mutations one way or another – she saw warts and branch like arms, literally _branch _like. But even more horrible than the image, was the smell.

They were also all dead.

xxxxx

Akane had no idea what was happening.

One moment, she was racing towards the Hokage's office to tell him that Jiraiya's intel was correct, and that they found the remainder of the children – only to be told that the Hokage was gone, hunting after Orochimaru who was being arrested for the kidnapping. She knew that Jiraiya had gone ahead and took the surviving boy with him, leaving Akane to continue searching the place, but she was only an hour behind him.

And yet, she came back to chaos.

Before she could even start on her report – before she even reached the hospital to check on the boy they found, she was told that Jiraiya had left the village. Then she was told that Orochimaru got away. That it was too late.

And then they told her to go train.

And confused and bewildered and completely thrown off, she followed command anyway.

xxxxx

"The baby's almost due."

He stood up then, taking a step back so he could look down on the flowers sitting atop the grave. His eyes – eye – solely focused on the name, Rin Nohara, and he tried not to look at all the others dead next to him. Maybe he was worried that the dead would listen on and realize what he was doing – but it was an impossibility. It was the break of dawn and the sky was not quite lightened by the sun, it was dark blue without an inch of warm yellows or oranges. No one was around to hear him talk to himself...sort of. He stood there and talked to the slab of stone with the dead unable to say anything back. They could not respond. They could not criticize. They could not analyze him. They could not pity him.

Slowly, he closed his eyes, letting the moment slip by him.

He didn't think about how unsatisfying this jonin life was. He didn't think about the regret of how much he pursued this life – only to remain feeling unfulfilled. _This _was the status he had wanted since his father had killed himself all those years ago, and maybe as the years went by, Kakashi had glorified this role because it signified strength, of strong mind, of the best of the best type of shinobi.

He didn't think about joining the ANBU...

And yet the idea of working with others – others that disregarded his name – and working in the shadows...it appealed to him. Minato had brought it up several weeks after Rin's death when it became obvious that Kakashi could not quite function well as this exposed, and talked about jonin. He rejected the idea of becoming a further recluse, but now with more thought...

Then he heard feet shuffling behind him and his eyes slowly opened. He recognized the presence immediately. Flatly, he said, "you're not quiet enough."

"I wasn't sneaking up on you," she told him. When he shifted his head, he saw the same short girl with the white ANBU mask being framed with loose hanging copper strands that escaped a pony tail. She looked strange, as if she was playing in a costume and yet..."What baby were you talking about, Kakashi?"

"It's none of your business." His tone wasn't exactly cold, but it was far from warm. He turned back around, ignoring her but she took a step closer anyway.

"There are people watching. Always. You should know that better than anyone else," she whispered quietly. And then she took a step back before disappearing completely from his sight. She had only went to the Third Training Ground because it was en route to her ANBU assessment report. It was a special case for her, one that undermined her status as an ANBU: she was sent on mission, she was certified, she took the pledge of devotion to the Hokage and solely him or her, signed the non-disclosure and had the tattoo on her arm...but she was easily the weakest among the organization. She was well aware that she was allowed into the group because there had been a war, and they were short on numbers – as the same reason why children were sent into the battlefield – and she had proved her worth over the year, and yet, she was not up to par with enough needed skill.

Her genjutsu was praised, and the fundamentals were passable – but overall, she was not the skill the ANBU was known for.

And it was why she was being assessed now, by the Captain of the Tactics unit of the ANBU Black Ops. She didn't know his name, only that they called him Ryuu and he had been a member for a decade and half now. When she arrived in the underground training centre five minutes later, she was met by a man with the same white mask, a white cloak covering covering every inch of his body so nothing gave away except...his height. "Viper," he said. His voice echoed in the room. It was literally a block underground – the room was perhaps no bigger than a squared twenty five feet, with high ceilings. No weapons hung, there were no ridges, and it was completely circular. "Are you ready?"

She nodded.

He held up both his hands, turning his palms as if to say _go _ahead.

Little did he know, that she already had.

Akane already knew that he expected her to use genjutsu first – obviously, she would, it was her only definable talent – so the moment she descended into the private training room, she had already located his chakra and began playing with it. She created an illusion, imaging the spikes in chakra created from the anticipation he must have felt as he waited for the whispered about twelve year old ANBU member. By the time she had entered the room, she made herself invisible and moved her chakra into yet another illusion of the girl that had nodded to him after he asked if she was ready.

It was perhaps the most complicated illusion she had ever conjured. If she was an Uchiha, it would have come naturally to her – but there was no point wondering how life would be like with the Sharingan. Akane watched as Viper created an extension of the genjutsu already present, disrupting Ryuu's chakra _again _but just as quick, he disappeared and released the jutsu.

But he was falling for it.

She saw him position behind Viper, his fingers on the sword on his back and he took the momentarily surprised Viper to his advantage as he used the base of his hilt to thump her on the back of her neck.

Akane, watching, smiled.

Viper disappeared and although he made no more indication than the straightening of his back, she knew that he had no expected her to disappear – especially in the circular room that he had a full 360 degree view too. She knew that he had a powerful Sensory skill that enabled him to have an animalistic level of vision but even a hawk could be tricked. Before he could make a next step, Akane shifted her chakra yet again to the other side of the room and her hand, silently, slid her father's sword out from its sheath and held it precariously behind her.

She knew that Ryuu was smart. He would figure this out in three -

Ryuu held up his hand, his palm on the walls and it screeched under his chakra, folding and exploding into sharp points that raced towards the second Viper, and then wrapping around her. Akane watched as the copper haired illusion grunt as it constricted her, watched as the mask fell, watched as the 'girl' doubled over, watched as Ryuu noticed again that this was not real -

Two -

He disappeared. She didn't move an inch.

One -

"Found you." He whispered.

She didn't talk. The sword she had angled already, knowing the failure, jumped with a flick of her wrist and she felt it plunge into him. There was a gasp behind her and she jumped back, her eyes squinting as he suddenly exploded. _A substitution and explosive jutsu together? Hm. _She crossed her arms, protecting her face as she flew to the other side of the room and he followed closely behind her. With a strong kick, she launched herself backwards and threw the sword. He easily deflected it with the wall that had shot forward yet again and midair, she changed direction so that she could slide underneath and catch the fallen sword, holding it with both her hands as she jabbed it upwards at the white cloaked shinobi.

But this time, with her father's jutsu, she didn't make it all the way. Instead, she moulded her chakra over the blade – extending it – so without an indication of a stronger movement that would give her away, it stabbed him upwards. He dodged. But chakra was not a physical, absolute object so she bent it and -

"This assessment is over. You failed."

She froze. Appalled.

"_What_?" She said. She dropped the sword, flipping backwards a safe distance away. She glared at him. "How did I fail?" Was this a trick?"

"It has been 84 seconds and you have only exhibited two types of jutsus – gen, and kenjutsu. As a member of the ANBU Black Ops, you must be adept in at least four types."

"You can't expect me to exhibit four types all at once -"

"But I do," Ryuu said in a passive tone. Her jaw tightened as she slit her eyes at him. "I warned the Hokage two years ago that you were perhaps chunin level," he paused, "a tokubetsu jonin right now, would be the most suitable. But in no way have I ever endorsed you to join our ranks."

"It's not your decision, and previous ranks bear no -"

"I know the outlines of our force, Akane, I don't need you repeating them to me," he said, cutting her off. At the use of her name, her eyes widened slightly before she straightened up. He couldn't do this to her, he couldn't _fire _her outright – but his word had weight. All captains of each unit had control over the assignments the other ANBU completed, after all, they helped assign the most suitable shinobi for each. She knew that she had not worked under Ryuu often, but rather the Head of Assassinations and she was not petty enough to believe that he had it out for her – but she absolutely had to convince him she had a firm spot in ANBU.

She could not imagine what it would feel like to be out in the world without this mask. To be on any other mission that did not involve utmost secrecy. To do anything less than shove her entire conscious being to the small, dark part of her mind as she killed on command.

She _had _to prove her worth.

She just had to.

Part furious, part panicked, but mostly desperate – she unleashed everything. This time, she did not simply disrupted and changed his chakra flow, but she ravaged it. He shouted. Ryuu, Head of Tactics, _shouted _as he grabbed his head and crumpled over but she knew that it would not last long. Before he used pain to break out of it, she raced out towards him.

She knew what she was doing to him, and it was sickening. But that was the thing – Akane's genjutsu _had _to be horrifically sickening. The shadows stripped his vision, rushing into his eyes, up his nose, into every entry and filling him with fire. It burnt down his clothing, it wrapped itself around his flesh, it set it ablaze. It touched the most inner, most sensitive, most _painful_ part of his body and it sucked and twisted at it, ripping off his skin and clawing away at it, drawing blood and breaking bones.

But it wasn't her shadows, not really.

It was _him_.

He was the one that was clawing at his stomach, at his neck to rid of the shadow but it was her genjutsu that made him do it – _he _was the shadow. She initiated the fear, and he acted on it.

It was her secret: there were no shadows. It was all her enemy's mind. And the worse the mind, the worse the illusion.

And _everyone _had that evil part of their mind. Somewhere, deep in their brains, was something horrible. And Akane triggered it.

Still, she did not stop until the shrieking man had ripped off his cloak. He wore the ANBU uniform, and he had white blonde hair and pale skin, she noticed in a flicker of a moment. The veins of his neck was throbbing and she yanked off both her gloves off to reveal her hands, her wrist.

This was her act of desperation – this untested jutsu.

Black tattoos twined down her left wrist, making her arm a seal by itself. A fuinjutsu technique tattooed to her wrist, not painted – transforming her body into a real, physical weapon. Using her teeth, she whipped her wrist across her mouth, creating a gash straight to the seal and offering the blood needed for the jutsu. It glowed an icy blue colour as she wrapped her hands around his neck and she felt the prick of her skin as the jutsu began.

And then she started screaming too.

Her skin pricked, her nerves setting it on fire and she cried out as she felt her bones crack under the pressure of the chakra that burst through her skin but, _it worked_. Her left hand, around Ryuu's neck, had sharpened chakra-created needles that pierced through his skin, breaking the physical flesh and veins while similarly like the Hyuga's technique stopping the chakra flow altogether without actually needing to _see _it. Essentially, it was a blade and the Gentle Fist all at once.

Without even another thrash, he fell.

xxxxx

Minato was expecting a report handed into him at exactly eleven o'clock that morning. As busy as he was, the rare case of a _not quite _ANBU member received his attention – especially because it was the very girl who he helped enlisted. Standing up from the Hokage's desk, he took a step out of the office and immediately, one of his private shinobi appeared from no where. He recognized her immediately: the woman with long, dark hair was the Head of Assassinations, who they called Cobra.

Cobra, and Viper.

"Where is Ryuu?" He asked, addressing his other Captain.

The woman frowned behind her mask. "He is doing the assessment," she replied slowly. She roughly knew of his case, as the two were relatively close because of their similar positions but she was not informed of it any more than the fact she had just told the young Hokage. "In our private training quarters below the Seventeenth Ground Seven."

"He was to report to me almost six hours ago." Minato knew that his ninjas were not children and did not need to be too closely monitored but no assessment had ever lasted over three minutes. Ryuu was intelligent – he always had been. After all, Ryuu had one of the sharpest eyes and mind and was able to see potential like no other. "Find him." Minato paused. _If something is wrong with Akane..._ "And take Kakashi Hatake with you."

She nodded, and disappeared.

xxxxx

It was common knowledge where acclaimed jonin, Kakashi Hatake, spent his time whenever he was off duty and took Cobra no more than a moment's thought to find him. He lifted his head when he heard her arrive. "Yes?" He said slowly.

"Come with me."

xxxxx

When Kakashi and the dark haired woman arrived on the scene five minutes later, they both froze at what they saw before them.

If the completely white, circle room wasn't enough of a disturbingly vast, and other-realm like shock, the shred through the walls was. It was as if the claws of a God had torn through a white galaxy. But the worst was the two ANBU members sprawled on the floor – bleeding and unconscious.

Cobra ran towards Ryuu, her fingers pressed against his red and scratched up neck. She breathed a sigh of relief. "He's alive."

Kakashi bent down next to Akane and removed her mask. Beneath it, she was sweating and her eyes moving beneath the eyelid. "She is, too," Kakashi said as his eyes moved down her body. She was fine – not a single ripped up or bloodied article of clothing unlike Ryuu – but it was her hand that disturbed him. The fingers looked crooked, the skin over her middle and fourth knuckle ripped open to reveal the muscle and bone underneath. But when he turned over her hand...

Skin peeled, blood stained – the middle of her palm looked as if someone had taken a knife and sliced off the skin.

"What the hell happened?" He heard Cobra whisper. "This was only an assesment spar, not a -"

Kakashi's eyes was drawn down to the black marks down her wrist. _When did she get that_? It laced down her inner forearm, stopping midway, and was obviously some sort of fuinjutsu skin. But it wasn't marked as such, it looked...

His fingers ran down the skin.

It was a tattoo.

Did she seal a weapon within her own body? That was...that was beyond dangerous. Sealing chakra was one thing, but _physical _weapon – and if sealed improperly – would...would do this.

"We need to get them to the hospital. Now."

xxxxx

Ryuu was in a coma.

Akane was in the intensive care unit.

Ryuu had _not _ripped through an artery and had _not _bled to death...but he broke the equivalent of an artery in terms of the way chakra was distributed throughout his body and it had shocked his body enough to knock him unconscious. It was an induced coma, one to forcibly tell his body to recover and reattach the flow despite the now ruined "path", so to speak. It was like a river flowing without a dent of ground. The water would splatter and puddle like a lake – but with enough time and enough assurance that the chakra won't pool up around his neck causing further trauma, he should be fine.

Akane, on the other hand, was thrown into surgery.

"Epidermis torn, two split knuckles, one dislocated, tendons ripped, palmar fascia ripped...like an explosion on the inside out," the doctor had said quietly. The medic-nin gave Minato and the two ANBU behind a solemn look before adding, "and both the radial and ulnar artery are damaged. Whether or not the blood or chakra can still flow regularly will depend on how well she cooperates with us but obviously both should be discharged for the time being to encourage a rapid recovery."

"I understand," Minato said with a nod. It was inconvenient since he had planned for Akane to be one of the ANBU assigned to look after Kushina in two months when the baby was due because of her skill to stop anyone within a mile of coming close...but there should be other shinobi readily available. He turned around, nodding to Kakashi and Cobra before leading them out. It was the woman who spoke first.

"Was Viper not assigned...?" She asked, not wanting to give it away. But being Head of Assassins also made her responsible for people who worked under her frequently – and Viper was, without a doubt, one of them and earlier it had been agreed that Cobra would give up Viper for the duration of the month Kushina was expected to give birth to the Yondaime's son.

"Yes, but I will find another. It's for her own good, she's young – she needs to recover."

Little did Minato had not only helped her recover, but had saved her life.

Because without a doubt, two months later and ten minutes before the Hokage's son was born...all the ANBU on guard had been slaughtered and Akane would then be just another body littered around the cave.


	7. Chapter 7: Mission to the Land of Stones

Chapter Seven – Mission to the Land of Stone

_One year later_

To most people in the village, they were under the impression that Konoha was in a state of peace. The sun was shining, children were laughing and working hard, and ninjas weren't tense up with the anticipation of war. But most disregard the behind-the-scenes shinobi. It was the ANBU that never seemed to experience the peace, always on alert - especially a certain girl who was currently being assigned an S-Rank mission.

"Do you really think that I need a _partner_?" Akane Mikuzen frowned, crossing her arms.

After being an ANBU for three years at such a young age and still alive, she had grown used to a certain way of doing this. The Sandaime sighed, shaking his head at the copper-haired girl. He had watched her grow up before his eyes: from a daughter of a dress maker, to an ANBU. Although it was usually the Yondaime that looked after her, Sarutobi took up this role after his death. He watched the young ANBU carefully.

Sure, she had very depressive tendencies, and a temper but Akane was relatively composed. She crossed her arms, the metal plated guards clicking. She wore the typical ANBU ensemble, the black and grey a contrast to her paler skin and bright orange hair tied up hastily and intensely blue eyes that were usually large and falsely imitated innocent, but right now was glowering at the Hokage. "I think I can handle this by myself, my Lord."

"I am well aware of your abilities, Akane, but this ___is_ an S-rank mission." He paused. "And considering the numbers of politicians and their guards, it would be ideal for you to have a squad, but a partner should suffice."

"I've been on S-rank missions alone before," she reminded him.

"But you haven't taken down an entire system," he said, growing impatient at her childish behaviour. She had been a captain on several occasions but solo missions were clearly more of her speciality. She had branched off from being the ones to confirm the deaths, into the one doing the killings at a rapid pace and he feared that with her at ease, she would one day wish to do everything alone – and that would only lead her to becoming a missing-nin, and leaving the village. That fear and wariness prompted him to take actions, to put her on a squad and constantly change her role from leader to subordinate more randomly than anything. He did not want her to get used to working alone. She sighed, muttering an agreement as she placed a hand on her chest and bowed her head at her superior. "Understood."

"Wait, Akane." The Hokage said as she turned to leave, inhaling a long drag through his pipe before tapping it on the table. "Your partner?"

"Right," she sighed, fingering her hair wearily, "I forgot about that."

He tapped the pipe against the table, considering the options. He was indecisive between his own son…and his son's friend. But given the nature of the mission, he chose the latter. "Kakashi Hatake." ___You're kidding__._ "Be back by the end of the week. You may leave."

xxxxx

She had not spoken a word to Kakashi Hatake since the day she saw him at the cemetery at Rin's grave and if she had to be completely honest, she didn't _want _to see him. It felt too personal. He was the only one that knew the old Akane Mikuzen and she didn't want him to...judge her. Not that she should care. It shouldn't matter what he thought. And although she knew that he could recognize her by her chakra signature relatively quick if not immediately, she decided to follow the pretence of not knowing him anyway. Slipping on her mask, she waited on the roof top for him.

And hours passed by.

By the time Kakashi Hatake arrived, Akane was fuming. Her eyes pierced his as he came into distance and before he could make an excuse as to ___why_he was three hours late, Akane had twined her fingers together behind his neck, pulled him down and kneed him in the stomach. Hard. He groaned, collapsing onto the ground.

"Don't be late again," she hissed, her eyes narrowed. This wasn't Akane's rage – it was the ANBU in charge of the mission that had to wait for _hours _for this man. She leaned in towards the ground and dragged her finger dangerously down the mask on his face. Leaning down and whispered, "I'm not going to wait for you again. Ever. Understood?"

"Loud and clear," he muttered_, _wincing as he got up. Even wearing his ANBU chest guard, he still felt the soreness at his abs from her knee. He didn't even have to guess to know who this was – he recognized the hair immediately as she jumped away from him, shooting a look behind her shoulder before she left the gates with him following closely behind. When he was told he was given a partner to go on an S-Rank mission, he had never thought that it would be _her_. The last time he had seen her, he had been standing by her bed and she was unconscious, with a cast around her left hand. Her mask was removed, and he had seen her peaceful, sleeping face and he remembered thinking that _this _was what a thirteen year old should look like.

"Have you been told the details of the mission?" She asked, formally as if she had not just attacked him.

"Not quite," he said in his usual tone, the pain numbing and being forgotten. It felt odd for him to be the older member of the group. Usually, he was the youngest ANBU, the prodigy. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She looked tired and bothered, as if he was a pain to have around. It wasn't a usual reaction: having the renowned copy-nin was an assurance, not a hindrance. But then again, she also seemed adamant on ignoring him unless necessary.

"We have a deadline of three days to infiltrate the Land of Stone, where a corrupted system is enslaving the townspeople. The request was by a priest, but we may lower the payment due to the nature of the mission," she told him neutrally. He looked up, surprise.

"And what exactly are we doing in the Land of Stone?" He asked cautiously, looking at her attentively. For the first time in awhile, the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile and she was glad that she had the mask to hide it.

"Well, we're going to assassinate the leaders, of course." She glanced up at him almost playfully, but it was a mischievous smile now. "And all those that conspired with them."

xxxxx

Kakashi moved behind the copper haired girl who he was certain was Akane Mikuzen. He would never ask to confirm this, but he was absolutely certain. And yet the way she had briefed him on the mission could not be the -

Wait. She could. Because a year had passed and people change and grow up. But then he also realized he was making this mission too personal. So he reminded himself that this was the mission. Kakashi Hatake, a boy thrown into war and lived a life of violence and death, had to continue and kill several dozen people in one night.

He was a part of Konoha's Black Ops now, and had been for months. He was the best of the best…and this was just another mission that he would not, cannot fail. They were quiet as they journeyed to the land of Stone. It was a day's worth of travel, and Akane had ignored him the entire time. She used to look forward to the silence she got to herself on her way to assassinations, and Kakashi was interrupting it.

Once they set up a camp, she briefed him on the plan. "Tomorrow night, there will be a council meeting. The main guards will be protecting the Higher-Ups so expect chunin if not genin level shinobi military enforcers in the village." She paused and drew a rough diagram on the dirt with her fingers. "I expect you to have them under control in an hour, whether you kill them or tie them up is up to you. Meanwhile I'll take over the palace and eliminate the guards. By the time you finish up, round up the following family members," she handed him scrolls, "and bring them back to the palace to complete the mission. This should take no more than...75 minutes. Understood?"

Kakashi only stared, wide eyed at this young girl in front of him. How was it possible that she formulated such a plan already, how casually she talked about killing all these people? Even when he had been on assassinations, the squad tended to say the name and nod – and that was the end of it. Rushed, and the order only said out loud to get it over with. She stared at him, waiting. "What?" Her eyebrows knit together.

"Nothing," he said, looking down, "understood." But as he reached out to the scrolls, he saw names and pictures of children and looked fleetingly back at Akane. Did she really expect him to round up children to possibly _kill_? Her eyes turned to him once again. "Is there a problem?" She asked slowly.

And looking at those cold, blue eyes, prominent even behind the mask, he realized that she knew what she was asking from him, and was not disturbed by it at all.

xxxxx

Once they arrived at the village, Akane cloaked them both with her genjutsu, rendering them practically invisible – nothing more than a shadow. It felt strange to walk through the town…feeling completely exposed. But Kakashi trusted her.

They both wore black cloaks, their mask and ANBU attire. They scouted the village, analyzing their shinobi and the town. It was everything the priest said it would be – dark, and with not even a glint of hope. Children lay by the roads, their clothing like scraps over their frail frames. It didn't even _look_ _real_. It took her only one second to realize that the men were in the mines, gathering the resources while their mothers worked at the factories to turn them to goods. Yet despite what would have been a prosperous field to work in, the markets and shops hung scarce, limp vegetables. Akane had never seen a grocery so...empty before.

___This _was poverty.

But north of the village on a hill was a palace, surrounded by a circle of mansions. All of the money made from the ores, minerals and jewels were directly feeding the aristocrats of the village. With each minute, Akane's revulsion for the government grew and any guilt that she may have had disappeared. "The shinobi here doesn't even look properly trained," she said with a hint of disgust in her tone. Kakashi nodded but he still took a protective step closer to his captain.

It was true what she said though. They wore no armour but leather and cotton ones. They wielded the shuriken and kunai, and a sword – but that seemed to be it. Kakashi analyzed them with his Sharingan but not one shinobi stood out. This would be easy.

It took them less than a single hour to travel around the village, and they gathered all the necessary intel quickly. "I don't think we should run into any problems," Akane said as she tipped the bottom of her mask just the slightest to expose her mouth to take a swig out of her flask. "Everything will go as planned." They were sitting up on the trees and her eyes scanned the area one more time.

"Wiping out an entire military," Kakashi shrugged, playing with the high collar of his cloak, "no problem."

Her eyes flickered up to him, amused. "It shouldn't be, you ___are_Kakashi Hatake after all." She murmured but she stopped looking at him. It was the first time she had mentioned his named so far. "Kakashi Hatake," she said again, quietly, thinking. She knew that his life had been tough as well. He was born into an elite shinobi class already – being the son of Sakumo Hatake, the White Fang. He was the student of the Yondaime, the only non-Uchiha with the Sharingan. Everything prepared him for the shinobi that he was today.

She had always thought Kakashi was simply great. The most skilled, the most intelligent, the most handsome. But now…here he was, working under her order. Or rather, according to the Sandaime, along with her.

"Hm?" He looked at her, responding to hearing his name being called. She shook her head, lost in thought. "Nothing," she said. He tilted his head, looking at her curiously. Her face was concealed but that orange hair was a dead giveaway. Even then, something about her posture – the way she curved into herself while sitting on the branch – indicated someone that seemed to shy away from the world.

Akane, shy?

It didn't fit.

But something about the___idea_of a quiet, thoughtful Akane – the one sitting in front of him now – seemed…like someone he wanted to know. She had been so many people over the past several years that he could not keep up with. She turned to look at the sky, realizing it was falling dark quickly. She stood up and he only moved his head to look up at her.

"Come on," she said, "it's time."

xxxxx

Kakashi turned to his captain. Her head shifted just slightly in confirmation – and then it began.

The Land, as it is rightfully titled, was created mostly upon stone. The military force was light with guards oppressing the village. It was easy for Kakashi to Body Flick himself behind each guard and knocked them unconscious. He didn't want to kill anymore than necessary. Tying them all underground, he continued to cut down their numbers without being seen. He was, after all, the White Fang's son and he didn't run into any trouble or much resistance.

That was until he met the shinobi guarding one of the largest factories. "I knew it!" The shinobi exclaimed and reached to send to a radio. ___Shit__. _By this point, Kakashi's stamina hadn't lower quite yet but he wasn't at his top speed after using so much of his chakra moving from guard to guard for the past half hour. He couldn't kill this shinobi if they were already making the call, perhaps if he could manipulate -

The man already made the call. "A shinobi is in the village! He's in front of me –"

He had compromised the mission. Already.

___Akane will kill me. And the mission will be compromised. _But then -

"Oh, well I recommend getting off the radio then." The voice on the other line said. It was an all too familiar tone and he could practically ___hear_the dryly amused smile behind it. ___Akane_. Knowing that there was no way this mishap would reach any other leading ninjas, he flicked himself behind the shinobi faster than the man's eye could track and using an Earth release technique, grabbed the shinobi and forced him underground, rendering him useless. He picked up the receiver but she was already talking.

"You're lucky I had spare time to infiltrate their communications. Hurry up." And she clicked off. He felt a smile pull up despite himself, and he closed his eyes as he shook his head. He had never felt relieved on a mission quite like this one before – but her voice confirming that things will be all right was…exactly that. It made him feel all right.

With all the military scattered in the village tied up somewhere, he continued with the second part of his mission. Hidden amongst the shadow, he leapt to the mansions and kidnapped the entire councilman's family as instructed.

Twelve.

He captured twelve ___mildly_innocent people back into the palace where the politicians were frozen, unable to even tremble under Akane's genjutsu. He didn't know what he was expecting, but the entire scene was vaguely like…a stop picture of a meeting. He had never seen her in action before and knew vaguely of her ability but...he didn't expect this. They were sitting in their tall chairs, unmoving, as Akane sat on the table, waiting. And she was frightening. She didn't have a Sharingan, but those blue eyes were even more deadly.

With his Sharingan, he could see the immense amount of chakra filling the room, disrupting the civilian's mind flow, making them unable to even move a single finger. The room was entirely silent, and for the first time in awhile, he felt fear. Fear for them. It intensified even more when ever so slightly, Akane turned her head as if to say, "go."

This was the life he had trained for for. After so many years, being a killing machine was simply another shinobi art, if not the most important. He pushed his conscience back and killed them all – each and every one. These were the men that enslaved a village so that their wallets could deepen. They didn't deserve to live, and had already tarnished generations enough, already ruined enough families, killed enough people themselves through exhaustion, starvation, disease and murder to prove their power.

Blood spilled as his sword plunged through the bodies of these frozen politicians. It was almost ___too _straight forward, with Akane controlling them. There were no cries, no begging. In less than three minutes Kakashi Hatake had assassinated twelve government personnel, leaving limped bodies fallen against the chairs, blood stained everywhere.

He understood now.___This_was why she accompanied so many assassination missions – she made it easy. There was no doubt, no loop hole to her ability. Even if all she had was genjutsu, that was all she needed.

At last, Akane blinked, dispelling the genjutsu. She walked towards Kakashi, each step clear and echoing against the marble. Her face was covered, but it made no difference, he suspected that her face showed no emotion, no remorse anyway. He felt a lingering unsettled feeling of the blood that covered his sleeve, but he had obeyed orders…as he always had. She nodded at him slightly, before approaching the now shaking bystanders.

They didn't try to run away as the two ANBU stared down at them. Akane frowned behind her mask_. ____Look at them – they are all evil. They were in love with the power…they want only one thing. They would never be happy otherwise. _She unflinchingly made her decision. "Them as well," she commanded Kakashi. His chest tightened but he had to follow her word. She was the captain, she was the leader. Her decision was one that she thoroughly considered and this was the option she decided on.

So he killed them as well. The women first.

But as he raised a sword to a boy, he froze. Kakashi turned – three boys, and two girls. And they were all crying, screaming hysterically as their mother and fathers lay dead before them, their blood in his hands. Their wails snapped him out of his murderous spree. "Why are you hesitating?" She said her voice oddly soft against the shrieks of the children. She didn't even bother sparing their pain and locking them into a genjutsu that would make them alienate from their physical sense. And he knew that she could - she could save them the pain. But she had decided not to.

"I can't," Kakashi said quietly. He could kill men, and even push himself to kill women – but these were _children_ for God's sake. Children could be molded differently, they could be taught to do good. There was a moment – a splitting, fleeting moment – of silence as the children began to hope, and Akane was speechless at his refusal.

But then she turned and faced her children. "Look at them," she told Kakashi, her voice distant as always, "look into the eyes of those children. They will avenge their parents, they will enslave their village, and they will come after us."

"They're young," she couldn't possibly kill children, right? It wasn't clarified in the mission plan. They only had to get these people out of control permanently. Nowhere had it said to_ kill the children_. "They can be taught differently." He believed that she could see reason, especially when the five children were gasping for air, sobbing and crying.

"No," she sounded almost apologetic but, "they can't." And this time Akane didn't wait for Kakashi. With a swing of her arm, her sword cut through the children as they gave their final breath and last scream. She felt the resistance of flesh, muscle and bone against the sword. It was embarrassing…that she couldn't simply kill them as fast as Kakashi. She wasn't strong, she never was. Still, she did not stop until all five bodies collapse and blood was splattered against her mask.

So. Much. Blood.

And as Akane walked away, she slid the blood stained sword back into the sheath, leaving Kakashi staring after her, eyes wide. At the entrance of the beautiful, grand palace, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. She pulled down her blood stained mask, revealing her face – the sapphire eyes, the copper hair, the lovely face. But her eyes were dead, and they were frightening. He thought she may explain herself, or maybe apologize – but he was wrong. Very, very wrong.

"The next time you second my order," she said slowly, "you ___will _regret it."

Then she was gone.

How could this girl be the same one that was thoughtful and almost timid only hours ago? She was cruel, and horrible, and heartless. Had he believed that she was rational, maybe even merciful? He did not want to ever forget this moment, never let himself think that Akane Mikuzen was anything other than Viper, the ANBU.

Kakashi fell to his knees, and looked down at his hands. And despite his shinobi upbringing, he hunched over the floor and smashed his fist through the floor, shouting.

xxxxx

Akane felt yet another piece of her humanity slip away as she left the site of the dead bodies. Kakashi had gotten the easy kills – to the men that deserved it. The women, she believed, perhaps deserved it too. But who was she to play God? She ___could _have let the children leave, but the Land of Stone would not be able to get over their era of slavery if there were any reminders of the past. It had to be done.

She had to put the village over a few people. That was her assignment. She was the one that had to do all the bad but necessary jobs that the heroes tended to conveniently disregard. But now, they were free. As she left the palace, a priest was there, waiting, kneeling in the mist. This village was under constant clouds, and tonight, it was raining heavily. She slipped back on her mask, feeling her wet hair already getting in the way.

She stopped when a man appeared, falling to his knees. "My lady," he praised, gratitude heavily clear in his voice as he kissed the ground at her feet, "thank you, thank you for freeing -"

"Get up." She said sternly, louder than usual to be heard over the roaring sound of rain against a marble building and so he did. He had a kind and aged face, a face she approved of. "Nobody wants to see their future leader on his knees." She said bitterly and brushed past him. But seeing someone _grateful_ of her cruel ways shattered the wall of strict discipline.

___I will not cry, I will not cry. I am a shinobi. I am an ANBU. This is what I do. This is what I am known for.____I _will___not cry. _She repeated this again and again in her head but the thought of all the lives she had taken –all the times that _she _decided whether or not someone would live or not, the times she had murdered children and adults alike…it was overwhelming her. She grew more and more frustrated to the point where she felt the threat of tears sting. Why was this mission different? Why did her mind not get over these deaths, as they always did? Why did these kills mean more than the others?

The more aggravated she became, the more the tears were insistent and she felt them slide down her cheek under the porcelain. Hastily, she threw off her mask and wiped off the wetness from her face – and froze. The rain may have covered her tears, but as Kakashi stood in front of this child – he saw it. He saw the grief she had been hiding all these years.

And although he had hated her seconds ago, looking at her now – crying and vulnerable, her eyes ringed almost bruise-like with insomnia and exhaustion and tears - he didn't know ___what _he felt anymore.


	8. Chapter 8: Surprise

Chapter Eight: Surprise

They didn't talk as they went back to the village. ANBU were always on guard, of course, until the mission was fully carried out and the entire squad had returned to the village. But this was different…she was purposely not talking to him. He sighed.

Something had changed the moment he saw the scared little girl behind those cold blue eyes and he couldn't bring himself to be the same way towards her. For the first half of the mission, he could delude himself into thinking it was any other ANBU ...but now she wasn't. Now, he knew that she had a name. A history. A past – one that involved him, and it only made it harder for him to do things objectively and without distraction. Although he wanted to never forget the cruel kunoichi, he was also well aware of how ANBUs heavily relied on alter egos.

"Akane, we should talk." He was the older one, after all, he should be the one taking initiative…even if she was the one that had led this nightmarish mission. Her head moved sideways to acknowledge that he said anything, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking when she was hidden behind the mask. "About?" She prompted. He didn't know how, but even at the speed they were moving at, there was something very steady about her voice.

"What happened." He stopped. She slowed down to face him. His black eye met hers and he instantly remembered when he saw this girl cry. He could see the hint of blue eyes beneath the porcelain. "Will you be all right?"

___He cares? _She thought but didn't say anything. She simply stared at him. Then she spun on the heels of her foot before he could object, and with a slight bent of her knee, she was moving again. It was an odd feeling but he so badly wanted to grab her and…shake the humanity back into her.

By the time they reached the border of a neutral country, _at last _Akane stopped. Kakashi was strong, but he didn't seem have the stamina of Gai's former student. He had been on the constant move since yesterday morning although luckily he had not extensively used his Sharingan. The sun was coming back up – and since on missions, ninjas were typically nocturnal, they had to stay hidden during daylight hours. "We'll leave at dusk," she told him and her voice was surprisingly smooth and quiet again. She retreated up to a wide, sturdy branch and positioned herself comfortably on it, with Kakashi taking the branch directly behind her. He heard her throw off the mask, but it was followed by silence.

In a few minutes, Kakashi was already restlessly moving around. He couldn't sleep despite his fatigue. As ANBU, resting in the middle of nowhere – whether it be in a cave, forest or desert – was fairly common. Although he had only been assigned this S-Rank mission less than 48 hours ago, he was still not exhausted out enough. He sighed and silently jumped up, landing on the branch Akane was fast asleep on, with her mask hanging on her hips.

He wondered how she could sleep so easily. Wasn't she haunted by her deed? Or was she genuinely not affected by death, like all the rumours claim? After what he had seen, he would believe it. But the tears…

His feet gave out underneath him and he tiredly leaned forward towards his knees and stared out at the tall trees surrounding them. His fingers slipped off the mask and there was something impossibly refreshing as he felt the wind on his face, his eyes less restrained. It was as if he was looking at the world from a new view – from the perspective of a young man, and not an ANBU. But even then, everything was horribly depressing. There were no leaves – just dead, bare trees scattered among a rocky shield. Everything was bleak and grey...and so was he. He turned to Akane, with her bright orange hair. It was like a beacon in this desolate land.

For whatever reason, he reached out towards her and pushed the hair back from her face – and right there, on the edges, was tinted a blackish red. _The blood_. Her eyes shot open and he found himself staring straight into cerulean eyes. And she wasn't frowning, so he didn't move his hands. Then she blinked, and her personality was back. "Off me. Now."

Kakashi never thought he would see the day where anyone would say that to him, let alone the ex-leader of his very own fan club. Reluctantly, he leaned back. "How do you sleep?" He asked, distracted.

"You learn to block out the sun," she commented, sitting up straighter. Her eyes twitch momentarily in irritation. Since when had Kakashi Hatake become so inquisitive?

"I mean," he corrected, "don't you get nightmares?"

He was surprised when she became quiet. She was glaring down at her lap – not him, for once - looking oddly young…very young. "I wake up to a real one, Kakashi," she said sardonically, "it makes no difference anymore." The way she said her name made him look at her, ___really_look at her.

"Akane," he said carefully testing out her name on his tongue and she simply stared at him, completely unaffected. His mind reeled. "Just what happened to your father?"

She didn't miss a beat. "He died. You were there."

"He was dead before we got there."

She didn't answer, and he tried to imagine, for the life of him, how he would feel if he was carrying his dead father on his back and flinched at the mere thought of it. Did she talk to him as he bled to death? Or was she distracted by the sheer weight, exhaustion, the darkness of the forest, to even notice when he had eventually slipped away from her?

"I suppose you should rest now," he said, "sorry for -"

"I'm sorry."

He stopped, but he could open his mouth before closing it again. He didn't know what to say. An apology had been the last thing he had expected from her.

"I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry that...Rin died."

He _literally _could not say anything. He could only stare at her as her blue eyes flickered up to him and she closed her mouth, sighing before she looked back down. "Akane -"

"I'm tired, Kakashi, that's it." And she really did look exhausted – completely, and utterly exhausted.

xxxxx

Akane was frowning as they drew closer to the village. There were lights and lots of it. "What's going on?" She murmured to herself. She jumped a distance from a tree to the other side of the gates – and her eyes grew wide.

So ___this _was why the Hokage wanted her back today.

There was a festival taking place.

Kakashi landed next to her silently, watching as the frown on her face transform to a mystified expression. Something about the way those blue eyes soften left him staring. It was like watching a psychopath fall in love – truly, and horribly in love, he thought amused. Although she was still taking in the surroundings – the lanterns, the streamers, the lights – she slipped on her ANBU mask, hiding herself yet again. There was something about the way she did it too, he noticed; not just because it was mandatory to conceal her identity, but he noticed it was like she was hiding from the village instead. Hiding from the light.

xxxxx

"This is your first festival?" Since you became ANBU, he didn't say out loud. Kakashi was equally concealed beneath the ANBU mask. He had to look down at the younger girl and she shrugged. He took that as a yes. "You should enjoy yourself."

"As if I have the right to enjoy it." She said blatantly, and jumped down from the roof, turning towards the Hokage buildings. "I should go write up the reports. You go have fun."

"This isn't usually my thing," he said lightly, slipping his hands into his pockets as he looked over the roof down at the crowd. Everything had a warmish glow to it, and even he could not help but smile despite the nightmare he had witnessed only hours ago. But it was an ANBU thing to be able to shove off any devastation witnessed or caused by their very hands. One could not have ghosts lingering, after all. By the time he looked back at Akane, she had disappeared.

He sighed. Of course.

xxxxx

Although technically, Kakashi was not on patrol duty, he found himself in the role of watching on roof tops and trees as the village enjoyed itself. Settling himself on a tree branch, his eyes slid over the view: laughing children, smiling adults, even the chunins and jonins were enjoying themselves.

From a distant, he heard Gai's laughter...followed by Kurenai sighing.

He wondered when he alienated himself from anyone – when he lost every single friend when it _wasn't_ because of death. But he already knew the answer to that: when he joined the ANBU. He didn't regret it, not at all, but as long as he was wearing this uniform, he could not be seen with anyone that wasn't wearing the very same. He moved in closer towards the village, not just on the fringes but in the centre when -

"Ah, yes, she's out of the village training."

His eyes narrowed down on a woman with the exact same hair colour as Vip – ah, Akane – as she talked to some younger girls around his age in front of a dress shop.

"Really? I heard rumours that she's just working privately for the Hokage after...you know."

He moved himself so that he could see the woman's face and easily recognized her as Akane's mother. They had the same striking loveliness that was borderline doe-like, yet not quite. But whereas Akane had her infamous pale blue ones, this woman had green eyes. "Well, either way, she's unable to attend events like this."

"When is she coming back then?" The other woman asked in a hush whisper.

There was a pause.

"Whenever she wants, I suppose."

In other words, she didn't care.

Now Kakashi did not know too much on mother-daughter relationships but the more he thought about it, the more odd her situation seemed. He would think that this woman would love Akane fiercely and perhaps even over-protectively after the death of her husband, but that clearly was not the case. Did she just let her go? Did a part of her died along with Dosu, and now she acted as if Akane had died with him?

That made absolutely no sense.

He sighed.

"What are you doing?"

He stiffened and slowly turned around.

"Is it just a coincidence you're monitoring my mother?" Akane asked coldly. He couldn't see her expression, but he imagined she was glaring at him. But there was no way he was going to allow her to intimidate him. They were equals. Kakashi turned around again, his back facing her as he said, "you came here as well."

"To look for you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why do I find that unlikely?"

"You didn't tell me the status of the guards."

"Uncompromised."

"Dead?"

"Alive."

Her fist clenched just barely but it was enough of a giveaway that she was either not expecting or not approving of his decision. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Why are you still here?"

Kakashi's eyes flickered towards her. "I don't answer to you, Akane."

At the sound of her name, she looked away. Something about that tiniest movement sparked regret in him. He blinked, and then sighed, standing up and moving closer to her. "Do you want to go together?"

She looked up at him slowly. "What?"

He cleared his throat. "Patrol."

"Oh."

Pause. "Okay."

xxxxx

It went off without a single spark of trouble – a successful, festive event. With only minutes left until the final closing fireworks, the two ANBU retreated to a high tree on the outskirts of village.

They didn't say a single word to each other, and yet, the silence was intimate on its own.

With a sigh, Akane landed silently sat down, her legs hanging over the branch. Slipping off her mask, she took a huge breath and shook her hair from the sloping pony tail. "We can probably relax now,' she said quietly as she slumped forward. Kakashi looked down at her – at the girl with her hands together and staring out with a sleepy expression. Gingerly, she rubbed her wrist.

He remembered the moment months ago – when she was hospitalized. It never came up again, and he knew it was an ignored topic among the ANBU force...that a little girl managed to get the better out of the person most skilled in tactics. "How is that?"

"How is what?" She asked, ceasing to touch her wrist.

"I was there."

Her eyes – eyes intensely blue, almost – flickered up to him and then she sighed. "I suppose you would." Minato had several ANBU run in and out in her hospital room for the days she was recovering. She didn't like thinking about those days...the days where she was treated like a lesser, like a child among a group that was suppose to be blind to all those things. Looking at her wrist, it was also a reminder that she was a failure – that she had no great skill but her genjutsu.

Akane leaned forward, and wrapped her arms around her bent legs, lowering her face against her knees. "Labelled a kinjutsu until I'm able to find away to seal a weapon within me that doesn't end up shattering every single bone in my hand."

"Why would you even need to?"

She didn't respond.

He sighed, crouching next to her, his elbows on his knees, waiting for her to speak. When it was clear that she was done with their conversation, he continued. "Do you remember when I was teaching you how to aim straight?"

The question startled a smile out of her and she looked down immediately, although not quite hiding it. "Yep." It was before she became a part of the Black Ops – back when she still was weak, still had to meet the standard shinobi skills. He glanced over at her, and followed suit, removing his mask to feel cool, night air. Waiting.

"And look at where you are now."

She stopped. "I'm not sure if that's a compliment, or scrutiny."

"A remark," Kakashi simply said and without looking at her, he continued, "I don't understand why you are doing this when you have a family, when you're young."

"That's a load of crap, and you know it," she said sharply. His eyes slid to her and then he sighed. "You know that age and family has nothing to do with why we do this."

_We_.

He knew he did this because he had no other alternative. He couldn't be a jonin, he couldn't work with other people so openly. And as it seem, neither could Akane.

"Let's face it," she said, her voice reverting back to its usual soft-spoken one, "we're in this too deep now." And she was right, and he could say nothing else on the matter.

They simply sat there for awhile, in the shadows from the tree, overlooking the glowing village. She sort of wished she could enjoy it, like a normal citizen, but she knew she didn't deserve it. Exactly as she said out loud, she had done too much during this _career _that enjoying things like this was beyond her. Too much deaths were in her hands, too much lives ruined because of _her_. As time passed, she became more and more lost in her thoughts. The once almost stark heat that radiated from the body next to hers was lost in the wind, and his presence too, faded.

Kakashi looked down at her, sneakily observing her. She was obviously distracted. From his angle, her copper hair covered majority of her face, but he saw the fan of her eyelashes, the curve of her nose and her lips, yielded. She ___was _pretty, she always had been. She was annoying as a child, but there was certain…distinction about her now. She was different somehow. Not bright and happy as Rin, or strong and protective as Kurenai. Yet…still lovely.

He remember he once heard, what felt like such a long time ago, that she was called pretty. He could see that.

Lovely as a doll, but so disturbingly broken.

But then the all-too familiar flash of an image disrupted his thoughts: of Akane, her sword stabbed into the children. Shards of a broken doll – one that cuts, one that draws blood...and he knew that the remains of this girl was the only thing that tied his life right now, to the life of his past. And that thought...upset him. That the reminder of his chunin days was yet another person, surrounded in death and just barely alive. A person that was guilty of murder.

She looked up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said immediately but his eye was still a fraction to wide. His mind was still matching up this girl in front of him with the kunoichi that murdered those children. Of blood, and stoic expression and cold blue eyes -

"Oh," she said quietly and looked down. "Okay."

That image vanished immediately, replaced by the sight of this girl…all quiet and introverted. It was the same aura she had prior to the mission followed by the sad and broken one ___after _she killed all those people. And of course, the slightly panicked one she had once they were surrounded at the village. All of the different faces of Akane…and in that moment, Kakashi suddenly developed an instinct. Looking down at her now, he wanted nothing more than to protect her.

Even if it meant protecting her from herself.

"Akane -"

But he was cut off, as fire crackers lit up the black skies and Akane looked up, lips parted but unable to smile the slightest.


	9. Chapter 9: A Shameful Deed

Chapter Nine: A Shameful Deed

A month had passed and yet, it was placid. It wasn't like the copy-ninja had nothing to do...he was an ANBU, after all, thus he was constantly preparing for missions. Granted he didn't get as many S-Rank as a certain thirteen year old girl – in fact, he was fairly sure that ___nobody _had the amount she did – but he was still relatively busy. He was renowned for his tracking abilities and assassinations. Yet when a month passed since the festival and he had completed his second A-Rank mission, Kakashi Hatake was...surprised? Unsure? Or maybe he was disappointed that Akane had not returned.

The morning after the festival, she was summoned for another mission. She had assembled seven other members and then…she was gone. Just like that.

A strange feeling in his hand brought him back to reality. He looked down to realize that a tiny brown dog was chewing on it. "Kakashi," Pakkun said in that passive voice of him, his droopy eyes apprehensively. This was the face of the pug that had accompanied him on more missions than most other ninjas."Whacha thinking about?"

"Akane," he admitted, his chin on his palm as he slouched down, "I wonder if she died." There was nothing that this shinobi could hide from his ninken, the two had been comrades too long for that. They were sitting on top of the roof of a building, over-looking the village, both too lazy – and unwilling – to meet with the Hokage for a follow up report on time. Pakkun, who had been lying down, suddenly perked up, his nose sniffing. His head turned towards the gate, but he only saw three people returning.

Kakashi straightened up as well and looked towards them. "I think it's about time we hand in the report," he suggested coyly. Pakkun nodded with a frown and disappeared in a puff of smoke, wondering why such a tiny squad was returning. The sixteen year old ANBU leapt to the level silently and made his way towards the room. Akane arrived simultaneously still in full ANBU gear with two men silently drifting behind her. She was a mess. Her hair was undone with wavy amber tendrils hanging. She was matted in dirt, sweat and even blood but it was nothing compared to the ninja behind her – ripped uniform, blood stains. One of her men had no ___arm_. Kakashi could only gawk - ___what the hell happened_?

She didn't greet Kakashi, didn't even move her head in his direction. She took the lead and went in first with her squad.

Something was off. He fought his urge to eavesdrop as he waited outside the door, and they talk in muffled tone – until there was a shout, and a loud crashing sound snapped him up. The door slammed open a second later and the Hokage walked out. He spared the copy-nin a glance and shook his head ever so slightly before leaving with his arms tucked behind his back and a clear frown on his face. ___What happened? _His complete oblivion irritated him to no bounds.

He looked inside the room, and Akane was leaning against the remains of a table, one hand bracing herself on the cracked desk and the other on her face. Her ANBU mask was shattered on the ground and if he guessed correctly, her squad had disappeared out the window.

"Akane?" he said slowly, warily. Just saying her name sliced through the silence - no. Not sliced. More like butchered. Shredded. She looked up at him between her fingers – and the way they trembled made him stop breathing. Her eyes fell to the floor away from him.

She looked exhausted. "Are you going to lecture to me too?" She challenged quietly. Her tone despite being little under a whisper held so much ___hate _that it shook him. Something had definitely changed…but what? She looked out the window, and he only saw one side of her face but knew that something was wrong.

At last, she spoke and she sounded every bit like the girl who cried in the rain, the child who tried to desperately hide the tears after a massacre. Voice a whisper, barely there. _I was just completing the mission._ And then she was gone.

_They don't understand. They don't_.

Akane ended up sitting in front of the Interrogations unit, her eyes down. She didn't care if it was a sign of meekness, she was not going to look into the eyes of the people that would prefer her dead.

But instead, in front of her was a woman with long, dark hair.

Cobra.

Akane nodded, acknowledging the Head of Assassinations but the action was ignored as the older woman bent down, a finger beneath Akane's chin and raising her bare face up to eye level with the ANBU mask. "Give me one good reason," the woman said, her voice raspy and dangerously low, "why I should not have your head for desertion."

She was expecting this. "I didn't desert them." Akane said quietly, blue eyes on her. She had worked under Cobra for years now, and although they were not "friends", Akane had always thought – and was told by the Hokage – that this woman had the utmost faith in her to carry out missions, that as Head of her unit, she handpicked Akane for every single mission that Viper completed. "You know that."

"I don't." Her voice was flat.

But what could Akane possibly say to that? Except...

"I completed the mission." Blue eyes flickered up to the ANBU behind Cobra – the one her age, the one with brown eyes and was hailed a genius for the very thing that Akane had tried to protect on this mission. "I completed the mission, and there were casualties." Akane looked away. Quietly, she added, "besides," her eyes flickered down to her lap, "nowhere had it said I had to protect them. Not if it meant failure of the mission."

After all, it was not like Akane had forgotten the tomb of corpses that Orochimaru had left behind. And with the only living success standing right in front of her right now, she could not possibly say that she would allow it to happen all over again, even if it meant the lives of few shinobi.

No one knew the consequence of the success of Iwagakure's experiment – no one saw it but her. Her and Jiraiya. And without even one person to back her up on her decision to gurantee the success over the lives of others, she was willing to be the one to blame.

xxxxx

Four months passed, and life continued. Mission after mission, his days were counted by completion and hours of training.

His life was not quite _his _anymore. It was the village's.

When Kakashi turned seventeen several weeks later, that incident with Akane had been filed to the back of his mind, with the festival being just a distant memory that now became the _easier _days. He had too much to worry about - missions were piling, and his name was being requested all throughout the five Great Shinobi Countries. Throw in Gai Maito's challenges, that one afternoon felt like decades ago. And so Akane, like the majority of his past, was forced to be pushed back. It wasn't until much,___much _later – spring of the following year – that Kakashi had discovered what happened.

"Are you all right?" the now seventeen year old famous shinobi asked a man struggling with carrying bags. He glared up at the younger ninja and shoved him aside.

"Move," the man said through his teeth, "I don't need help from people like ___you."_ He was taken back. He was wearing the ANBU attire, and most people – especially men – understood the reputation that came along it. ANBU weren't expected to be courteous - in fact, it was rarity. But Kakashi Hatake had time to kill. He narrowed his eyes behind his hound mask. After a closer examination, Kakashi picked up on his chakra: this man was a ninja, and a skilled one.

He was also missing a limb.

And instantly, Kakashi knew who this man was. The shock of nostalgia hit him hard and Kakashi's mind raced to connect the gaps. He was the ANBU – the very same that had came with Akane that day to the village a little over a year ago. He ___had _to be. The coincidence was too great. And now… he was retired? More so, he was ___bitter _towards a shinobi. Kakashi had a gut feeling that that mission was the reason why. "I know you."

"I don't care," the man said behind his teeth and pushed pass the grey-haired ninja. Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder and stopped him.

"I know her," he said, his voice low, "Viper." The man froze.

For awhile, they didn't move. And at last, the man broke the silence.

"You know that bastard, insult-of-a-shinobi ___brat_?" The man hissed turning around and this time, shoving Kakashi against the wall with his one arm, catching him off guard and although Kakashi could have shaken him off, he wanted to hear this man out. The look in his green eyes was one pure of hatred – something so rarely seen in a man his age. He must have been ___at least _35 years old, and for a ninja, that was quite old. Age meant one was _alive_ and that was not taken lightly, not with ANBU. He glared at the younger shinobi. "If I ever see that girl – ever again - I ___will_ make sure she gets what she deserved," he growled through his teeth.

Kakashi could only stare. ___What the hell happened_?

His grip tightened around the strap of Kakashi's chest guards. The proximity - the fury threw him off. Blood was pumping through the copy-nin as he took in the words, his brain unable to even wonder what she did that made this ex-ninja so angry. ___Did she kill our own? Was _that ___why there were such few survivors_? But that didn't feel right. There had to be something else. "What did she do?" Kakashi inquired his voice dark and serious. He knew that it must have been an S-Rank mission, and that would forbid anyone from knowing the details of the mission. But he had a lingering feeling that this man's anger would override his duties. The man barked out a laugh.

"What did she ___do_?" He repeated, eyes wild and big. "It was more what she ___didn't _do." Kakashi remained silent as the man finally took a step back. He stared at the ninja in front of him, and although Kakashi wore a mask, he felt all too exposed under those vengeful eyes.

And then, the man cracked a smirk.

"As soon as Viper got a little dust of speck on her pretty little head, she made our men appear like Sand ninjas and left them to die. Too afraid to even fight."

___Akane?_

"And if you see your little ___friend_, send her this," the man said and grinned, before slamming his fist into Kakashi's face.

xxxxx

There was something to be said about a girl that would allow her own teammates to die. Five men. She left behind five men to make up for her mistakes, and would have left behind two other if they had not chased after her. She only cared to complete the mission. He was right - she panicked. Akane Mikuzen, the Viper, panicked when she got injured, when her genjutsu didn't work. So she left.

___Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are _worse ___than trash._

And as Kakashi analyzed the story over and over, only one thing remained the same. Akane abandoned her squad when they ___did _have a surviving chance. In the shinobi world, it was your squad - your teammate - before yourself. You depend on others to take care of you, and you take care of others. She had broken that century old unspoken rule and that was something dishonourable enough that it made a full grown ANBU want to punch a child. A ___female _child.

He thought about the broken mask and cracked desk behind the blue-eyed girl.

The man ___did _punch her. Hard.

And he, for the life of him, could not piece this together. Too many factors, too many odd things that just didn't add up.

___Try to understand him, even if it's only for a little..._

Those were the words his sensei had whispered to Obito Uchiha when Kakashi was the Team Captain. He remembered that night clearly, sleeping in front of the campfire and feeling the heat of the flame on his face. He remembered Obito staring at him with frustration, while Minato looked at him with pity. He wanted them to understand his motive at the time, because as hard as it may have been to see the truth, there ___was _one. But even as this genius ninja ___tried _to understand Akane Mikuzen, nothing made sense. She left her team. There was no other way to look at it.

But she was the link to his past. She was the _only _thing _left _of his past and he could not sever it. He didn't _want_ to.

And now, he was left confused again: he did not know whether he pitied, cared for, or hated this one orange-haired girl.


	10. Chapter 10: Stories and Frivolities

Chapter Ten: Stories and Frivolities

This was his first information-retrieval mission.

Well, not exactly. But this was the eighteen year old shinobi's first mission that involved exploiting his body, reputation and appearance to gather information from the Daimyō's daughter.

"I need you to infiltrate the Capitol City with seemingly no motive. Use your title to enter the City, as the Daimyo had always been impressed by your father - " after so long, Kakashi stilled ever so slightly and his eyes hardened at the mention of the shinobi who killed himself over ten years ago "- but of course, it is crucial that you do not cause suspicions to arise. Go directly to the Daimyo's daughter Yuuki Shijimi and use whatever humanly means necessary to recover the information."

___Whatever _humanly ___means necessary_. In other words, he had the go to manipulate her with no violence inflicted. This of course...meant only one thing.

"Once you confirm the Daimyō's role in the___coup d'état_, report to the ANBU squad captain assigned to carry out the next Phase. If he is in fact a part of the coup, then I will directly contact him. If not, then our ANBU will have the permission to solely execute the Guardian Ninja." The old man stopped and leaned back, lowering his pipe and tapping it against his desk. He was quiet for a thoughtful moment before his eyes flickered back up at the copy-nin. "You do not have any part of this, and must leave immediately as soon as you finished up with Yuuki Shikimi. Understood?"

Finished up with Yuuki...his choice of words made Kakashi flinch but it made all too much sense why he was being sent on this mission. Not because he had the Sharingan, nor was it because he knew almost a thousand jutsu - but because he was Kakashi Hatake, son of the White Fang.

xxxxx

He arrived in the Capitol City the following night. At the news of his acceptance of visiting, the Daimyo had prepared a celebration for him - not quite a festival, not quite a ceremony but both. He was surprised that his deeds were being acknowledged, let alone to this scale. As soon as he stepped a foot into the large, bustling city, he was blinded by the dazzling lights and sheer amount of people. Konoha was a quiet village with plenty of characters, but this city was the opposite – a loud city but with blank faces.

One of the Twelve Guardian ninjas was already there waiting for him. He was a man wearing an unassuming black and simple attire. If it wasn't for the sharpness in his eyes and bandages wrapped around his wrist and ankles, Kakashi would not have suspected someone like this to even hint at an assassination at the Hokage. "Kakashi Hatake, the Daimyo has been excited about your arrival."

He managed to curve his eye into a smile and waved lightly but dismissively. "And I'm excited to be here."

The ninja slit his eyes but his voice was controlled. He said slowly, "f you are planning anything, I hope you are intelligent to know that if anything were to go wrong -"

Wonderful, threats already.

"- I am allowed to kill you on sight."

Already, people - and women - stared at the mysterious masked ninja in an ANBU uniform. Kakashi couldn't respond, not until the crowds began fading behind them. "You should be glad to know that I am quite intelligent then," he said flatly without losing his cool exterior. The chill in the air was noticeable and the guard, Ryuu, saw his mistake instantly, although he was not apologetic.

"Do not taking my warning too personally," he said slowly because he, along with the other Five nations, knew ___exactly _how intelligent Kakashi Hatake was and it would do him no good to get on the copy-nin's bad side, "but you must know shinobi do not usually accept requests such as these."

"Oh really?" He asked, carrying that same nonchalance. "I suppose that's understandable, but take this occasion as good grace between the Hidden Village and the Main Country."

"Hm," he said thoughtfully and they stopped in front of a giant, beautiful and without a doubt over the top palace. There was still that lingering unsettlement in Ryuu's gut telling him that something would go wrong, but before he could say anything -

"Why are we so suspicious of each other?" Kakashi cut him off mid thought, "we serve under the same leader."

The man narrowed his eyes but there was no bitterness to the action, just the slightest hint of frustration. "No," he said as he tore his eyes away at last from the famous copy-nin, "we do not." And being the genius he was, Kakashi didn't even have to look at him to know the unspoken thought.

___We do not, and you very well know that._

xxxxx

When Kakashi Hatake was assigned to recover the information from the form of a girl brought into the world by an easily-persuade thin man, and flamboyant larger woman, he wasn't sure what he was expecting...but a petite willowy brown haired girl was not that. "Kakashi! Son of the White Fang! I am overjoyed that you made it. So, _so _pleased. How was your trip?" The Daimyo asked with an approving smile and glint in his eyes as the ANBU made his way to the throne. The man had thrust aside the dividing curtains and stood up already, putting aside formalities.

Kakashi had met the Daimyo on several occasions during the Chunin exams and other events yet the man's humanness surprised him each time. He did not carry that same Godly aura that so many other higher ups tried to exude. Although he was meticulous, he was quite good at hiding it and Kakashi applauded him for that.

The Guardian Ninja's words still rung in his mind and he felt the distaste curl up in his stomach as he knelt down in front of the Daimyō . They were right. They did not serve the same lords, but they could coexist among each other. "It was long, my Lord, but well worth the trip. Your kindness is hard to decline."

He laughed behind his hand. "And yet you have declined it for years now. I wonder, what makes it different this time? Is it perhaps because of the new graduate from Konoha this year?"

"My Lord?"

The man chuckled again. "That boy...Itachi Uchiha. His graduation from the Nnja Academy and the upcoming Chunin exams are being gossiped about not just in the Hidden Leaf, Kakashi Hatake." He didn't react. "But motives aside, let us celebrate." He stopped and waved at his daughter who had been sitting lazily, her hazel eyes wandering. "This is my daughter, Yuuki."

Kakashi bowed politely but showed her the "smile" that he used to hide absolutely everything and reveal only his easy-going nature. It was the very same smile that made everyone under the impression that he was normal and fine for all these years. Her eyes sparkled with interest as she sat up straighter and her own smile grew. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kakashi Hatake. I've heard many things about you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Princess."

Her stomach fluttered at the light teasing in his tone. "Hopefully not _all_ yours," she murmured as she walked towards him and held out a limp hand. He took it carefully but because he wore his mask, all she saw was his silver head ducking slowly and felt a graze of cotton across her knuckles. But even that slightest touch and that voice of his, it had caused shivers to crawl down her back.

"And I look forward to getting to know you personally," she could only manage to whisper and stepped back as her neck craned to meet Kakashi eye to eye when he stood up straight. She took in his tall, lean muscled frame and already knew exactly how much she wanted to get to know him.

But she did not hear the coldness in his tone when he said back, "and perhaps you will."

xxxxx

The Daimyo wasted no time. Although Kakashi's award ceremony for his valiant effort in serving the Fire Country was in two nights, the city was alive with frivolities and joy. It was on a whole other scale than the festivals that took place in Konoha – the city was painted in red with decorations, lanterns, posters and scrolls that blanketed over the town. It was night when he left his bedroom at the Palace, and so the skies were lit up by explosive firecrackers and the glow of lanterns.

The roar of drums vibrated throughout the city. Children ran down the street, loud and noisily without a fear in the world. Men beneath the traditional dragon costumes roamed the city, and lovely ladies in kimonos graced the eyes of everyone. And although he convinced himself that these people simply relished in celebration, he couldn't help but feel the bitterness of allowing them to use the pretense of Shinobi Appreciation to pull off this extravagant party.

___No_, he told himself, ___be happy. Play the role._

"It's pretty, isn't it?" Princess Yuuki smiled at him kindly. For the past hour that he had met her, he gathered that she was the type of girl who longed to rebel and be free – she was exciting, volatile but also horribly predictable. The generic rebellious princess. But…he could play that to his advantage quite easily. After all, what was more rebellious than dating a shinobi – the very people that although her father may praise, have always been classified ___lower class_?

"It's amazing," he said and tried to sound genuine. Her eyes lit up and she let go of his arms to skip in front of him, spinning around wildly. She was pretty, he noticed, but it sort of was just the pretty that he acknowledged but felt no attachment too. Forgettable.

But as she spun around, her long hair twirled with her and with the bright lights as a backdrop, it looked like a halo of orange seemed to –

No. He would not think about orange-haired girls that were possible psychopaths. She stopped and giggled, stumbling slightly and he took the opportunity to hold her hand to steady her. Her laughter didn't die as she exclaim, "and it's all for you!"

His hand rested on her longer than needed and her face flushed. ___Very, very predictable_. "I'd rather think of it for the entire Hidden Leaf," he said in a low voice. Despite Ryuu's scepticism, he was completely right about it being an odd thing to do for shinobi to accept events like this. They weren't celebrities, after all, they were the military. And more than anything, Kakashi Hatake did not want to stand out any more than necessary.

"I guess, but you're a bit more…special?"

The screaming children in the back ground made him lean closer to her, and her redness grew. "Hm?"

"Well you're…Kakashi Hatake," she said and she suddenly became shy. She could play lion all she wanted in front of her father when she had the power to back it up, but alone she was as harmless as a kitten. For all her fierceness, none of it was real – not compared to true sheer strength he had seen on others. "I've heard stories about you and your father as soon as I could care to listen."

___His father. _Moments like this made him wanted to close his eyes and disappear into the shadow, but he knew he couldn't...as much as he wanted to. Instead he said, "I'm not as great as you may have heard." No, he was not - far from it. "There are many more deserving of this than I am."

So many.

___He's humble_, she thought, and her heart dropped. There was something horribly real about him – she ___did _hear all the stories of shinobi and their missions, and some were normal and meaningless while others were devastating. This was the man that perhaps killed over a hundred people, that snuck into other villages to do her father's bidding, that killed on command, that tortured on command, that did things she couldn't even begin prepare herself mentally for – and yet the man in front of her was humble, kind and thoughtful.

"You are as good as the stories." She whispered as she stared at him. He lived up to the huge reputation that her father boasted about. ___Look at me, at my military! I have _the ___Kakashi Hatake, son of the White Fang - ninja of a thousand jutsu, of the Sharingan! _And he was young. A born prodigy, and only two years older than her.

And she had no idea how it was possible, but even though less than a quarter of his face was shown, he was handsome. His confidence was undeniable, his intelligence unmissable.

"Hm?" His mind had wandered.

"Nothing!" She said quickly, feeling too intimate with someone she had known for less than a day. Still, she played that passionate princess role as she grabbed his hand and started to run off. "Come, let me show you around!" But she was too hasty and as she spun around, the drapes down her arms tangled up and all she felt was the tug of the silk as it latched onto something before squeezing her eyes shut and preparing for the -

"Princess?"

Her heart stopped and slowly she opened her eyes to see that the ninja had dropped to his knee. Her face turned scarlet and she felt the heat shoot up to her cheeks. She leaned down and saw that he had picked something up – a tiny statuette of the goddess ___Amaterasu, _the goddess of the Sun – and gently placed it back on a table with a smile directed towards the keeper. She wasn't even breathing when she watched him tilt his head back to her, his hands brushing against hers as he drew it back subtly.

"It's this damn kimono," she said quickly to cover up her moment of clumsiness. "It's so unnecessarily long!"

"Well perhaps you should take it off," he said and his "smile" didn't disappear. Her face went up several shades of red at the implicit meaning behind his words. He couldn't possibly mean that, could he? But yet that thought wasn't repulsive for her, not at all. Not towards an undeniably strong shinobi that held no pride – so different than all the other princes and lords she had met who had egos that challenged a god's. And something about his casualness, that attitude… "After all, I don't want you to fall."

But she had already fallen – to the ground, and into love.

xxxxx

Never before had she had this much fun - dizzying, drunken plain fun. She danced a bit too wildly, laughed a bit too loudly and talked to everyone – not just the nobles that she grew up with, but with village children and elderly, it was so ___new _to her. Kakashi had immersed her into this world and everything was shiny and new. The whole night was like a dream. She couldn't even count the amount of times Kakashi had grabbed her hand to help her escape her father's Guardian Shinobi.

It was well past midnight when Princess Yuuki returned home, limp against the copy-nin. "Do you think we got away from them?" She giggled, her face pink as she checked behind the door. The palace was vast and each little sound was like a shout into a void, the echoes only emphasizing it. The Princess lived on the east end of the palace, far away from the servants and the daimyo was quite asleep, as they all should – it was four in the morning and the sun threatened to come out soon. He didn't have to worry ___too _much about interruptions.

If there was a good time to get information out of her, it would be now. Although he wasn't particularly keen about supplying the girl with sake one after the other, it was necessary to make sure that she would forget anything that happened in this moment. "I think so, does Ryuu usually follow you into your room?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Ew, no." She said and then threw her arm over her bed. She laid face first on her silk pillow and mumbled, "he doesn't go ___that _far. It's only with my father."

___Your father, hm? _Kakashi looked down at the girl. Her silk kimono was light blue – and for a moment, he thought of a girl with eyes so blue that it was engraved into his mind, the back of his eyelids. ___Don't think about her_, ___don't_. "They're that dedicated, huh?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, "well Ryuu always had this theory that dad should be the only leader."

___Got it_.

"I see."

xxxxx

Kakashi didn't sleep that night. The ceremony would take place this evening and although he knew it was a simple "good job, Hatake, here's a medal and let me expose you to potential employers" but he really wanted to leave, but he knew that was not an option. It would be suspicious.

___People here sure know how to party_. Despite the fact that the skies were indigo and going to brighten up any moment, some still lingered on the roads. Their movements were swayed and of no threat, on the brink of exhaustion. His smile was hidden beneath the mask. One day with no sleep for Kakashi was routine, it was only on the third of no rest when his body started really taking a toll – and delusions were just another part of it.

He had been an insomniac when he was younger, unable to sleep knowing that Obito's eye was lodged in his head. But Rin was there to help him cope, and he forced himself to be strong for her – only for her to die in his very hands. The nightmares stayed for a long, long time and Kakashi had even accepted that he may never sleep again. But then the prospect of ANBU arose, and he forced his body to recover. His body had to be strong, and his mind had to force it to be so. He couldn't disappoint Minato by falling asleep on a mission, after all.

But then of course, his sensei died too.

He sighed and scratched his head. He wanted nothing more than to return to the village, not so much as to rest, but to go to the Memorial Site to put his mind at ease – instead, he was wandering around the Great City that he held no interest in.

"___Akane, you – you look beautiful_."

The copy-nin's head shot up. He immediately saw a young boy, holding the hands of a girl tightly as he stared longingly at her face. "But I think it's time to go home, Kohane."

___I misheard_. Suddenly his breathing slowed and he turned back around, continuing with his aimless stroll. He closed his eyes, slipping his hands into his pockets. He wanted the mission to be over with, but he needed just a bit more than a drunken confession. His mind ran through situations he could place himself in, ways to trigger a conversation about the Guardian ninja…

He tilted his head, swearing that he had seen a flash of orange…only to realize it was his periphery catching a glimpse of the rising sun. Maybe he really ___should _sleep before he started seeing things. It wouldn't be beneficial to be delusional in front of the Daimyo.

With a sigh, he turned around and headed back to the Palace. His chakra reserves were incredibly high – well, high for him anyway – since there had been no conflicts at all since he left Konoha so with a quick burst of chakra, he leapt up to the scaled roof and cracked the screen window open to slip inside. It was a plain, modest room – like he preferred. But instead of going straight to the futon bed, he did a room check. His eyes scanned the room and he knocked on the panelled walls, making sure there were no hidden cameras or recorders. Then he made sure the door was locked, but even then he pulled up the mattresses in the best angle so that he could see the bed and window clearly.

In several hours, there would be the most unnecessary ceremony in his honour. It was for the mission's sake that he followed through with it, but that uncomfortable feeling stayed in the pit of his stomach. Maybe it was because he didn't want to have the attention on him, or maybe it was because he didn't want to see Yuuki. But most likely, it was both.

xxxxx

"To Kakashi Hatake!"

Goblets were raised and for the following hours, he shook hands of dozens of people – lords, nobles, wealthy merchants, and business owners…all looking to hire this man that seemed to never fail. All the while, the princess' hazel eyes followed his movements until finally when the whole superfluous ego-boosting event for the Daimyo was over, she stood up and moved towards him.

But he felt someone already appear behind him.

"This doesn't look like your scene, Hatake."

It was Ryuu standing behind him, and he had already sensed him approaching for several seconds before he spoke. Still, he didn't shift or change his body language as he raised his hand and smiled at the approaching girl. To her, it seemed like Ryuu was simply crossing his arms and guarding the room – not like he was talking to Kakashi.

"It isn't, but it's over." He replied in a low voice. He didn't have to worry about appearing suspicious; his mask prevented any lip readers.

"And you will be returning to Konoha?"

"I don't see why not."

"And with what, Hatake?" His eyes narrowed. "Information? Weapons?"

And in came the princess. "Kakashi! It seems like ages that I've last seen you!" Yuuki exclaimed as she laid a hand on his arm. He fought the urge to wince, covering the movement with a curve of his eyes in a smile instead. Ryuu turned his head, and began walking away and he relaxed ever so slightly.

"So it has."

"And when can I next see you?" She asked slowly, her voice in a soft purr. He didn't point out the obvious that she was seeing him _now _but his eyes moved towards Ryuu noticeably and she tilted her head to look in the general direction. Then she frowned. "Ryuu's been giving you a hard time?"

She fell for it. He shrugged. "We're shinobi of different superiors, that's all."

"Oh? Don't you serve my father?"

This was going almost too easily. And she was in a good state of mind, so any information she would reveal would be a lot more reliable. "I do, but the Hokage as well."

"The Hokage," she repeated, her eyes wandering as she tapped her finger against her lips. There was a thoughtful look in her eyes and his chest rose just slightly – ___no. Stop. _"I don't think I've heard too much about him from Ryuu. Did he come from Konoha too?"

"I don't know, but if he did I'm sure we would get along just a bit better." Kakashi laughed slightly in a pretense of slight awkwardness and her eyes gleamed.

"Probably just a ninja suspicion thing, and now that I think about it…I don't think he is from Konoha. Or at least, he didn't seem to enjoy it very much if he had. I remember overhearing him talk to the others once about the Hokage and –" she stopped herself, as if suddenly realizing she said too much. She looked around the room, and then slid her fingers between his and pulled him towards the door. The sound of chatter and laughter quieted behind them and she continued once they were in the safety of unlit hallways. "Maybe I'm out of line to saying this but..."

He waited.

"…I heard him talking to Kazuma about my father and the Hokage. And well," she shrugged and in that moment, she seemed very, very small – almost shy and he had to blink to keep his vision clear, "he sounded…strange."

"Strange?"

"Power hungry."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow trying to seem casual when this was ___exactly _what he needed. Seeing just a faint interest, she continued – willing to do anything that would engage his attention. "Just be safe, okay? I have a feeling that maybe, I don't know, Konoha isn't entirely ___at one _with the rest of the country too."

"I don't understand." He said slowly. He needed her to state it explicitly. She bit her lip, her eyes wide.

"Well it's just that my father has always been proud of the military strength you have, but Ryuu always thought you were ___too _independent with having the Hokage. I don't think that he agrees with it."

"We work with the Daimyo though." Kakashi prompted, willing her to just say the words he needed to hear.

"Okay," her voice dropped, "I don't think a civil war would break out since father and I are completely in favour of Konoha but I have heard Ryuu talk about removing the role of the Hokage and merging the Hidden Village with the rest of the country and putting the entire training under our surveillance but –"

This was _actually_ happening. Ryuu was planning a coup d'état and now, Kakashi had the intel to back it up. "Yuuki," his voice was low, "say no more. If anything were to happen I don't want you getting involved."

Her heart stopped, and in that moment, all she wanted was for Kakashi to say that he cared for her. "Why?" She whispered, and her eyes were so hopeful, so thoughtful as if she was longing for something and half sleep deprived and half elated from a successful mission, he let his mind wander off: thinking about wide blue eyes that both hated and was scared of the world. When she placed her hand on his chest, he didn't even think – his hand covered hers, and if he just pretended…

"I don't want you to get hurt."

Her heart skipped a beat at his soft tone, and although he seemed distracted – she could see something in his dark eyes, something that reminded her of a wounded puppy that had grown into a wolf. "I'm not that fragile."

___But you are. She is._

"You don't know how awful the world can be."

"If there's a coup, I can stop –"

He snapped out of it immediately. ___She knows_. He leaned back, and he finally started to think clearly again. He had to get the idea of a coup d'état out of her head, or else when the next phase was carried, she could begin talking. "I don't think it would go that far," he said both to stop her suspicion and because it was the truth: the ANBU would not allow Ryuu to even leave the City, let alone step inside Konoha to take over the Hokage, "don't think more on it. Forget about it."

"But –"

"I'm sorry I even brought it up."

"Kakashi, is there anything –"

"It has nothing to do with you, Yuuki," he sensed no one around, "you're the Princess. Don't worry yourself with shinobi affairs."

"Then make me forget about it," there was no bratty privileged tone in her voice. And he was surprised – surprised at the sincerity at the tone, as if she had never known real affection. It was a pleading, begging tone full of vulnerability. He felt it coming upon him, felt his mind removing the block between his reality and delusion. Her finger trailed down his face, and although he felt exposed – his mind was already gone. He was no longer really ___there_. A part of him was telling him to go with it, that she would completely forget about the allegations…

And the other part was whispering one word, one name over and over:

___Akane._

xxxxx

He thought that he would be shaken after practically selling out himself in order to make sure Yuuki wouldn't talk, and he hadn't even prepared beforehand. He didn't expect it to go that far. But it wasn't horrible, he thought dryly as he walked down one of the village's many busy streets, it was preferable over battles where comrades could be lost. He made no sound, simply walking and staring up at the moon. Was it night already? Time had passed by fast.

No, he thought, it was not bad at all. And if sex was a means of information retrieval, then so be it. It was just another part of the mission.

But he was lying to himself. He could have stopped it any time, he could've taken Yuuki's hands off him and leave – but he didn't want to. He was too tired, and in that moment, he didn't see how it could possibly ___damage _him.

Yet now he felt like he gave away too much of himself...but then shot down that thought immediately. No, it was just another mission. It had nothing to do with _him_. It was about Konoha. And yet even as he kept this in mind, he couldn't help but sigh as he placed the earpiece on and switched on the receiver. "Hatake, reporting in. Mission completed. The Daimyo has not been compromised, approval to carry out Phase Two."

There was just a moment of silence between him and the next squad captain, yet it felt long enough for him to drift out and take in the sound of the wind, of the night, and of the absolute stillness in his voice as if he hadn't just, on some degree, was prostituted. The moment was long enough to realize it was cool out, and even the breeze seemed to be whispering something to him.

And then her voice cut in and it was as if he had been asleep all along and his trance was shattered into millions by the sound of a low, quiet and thoughtful voice. "Understood," she said and he stopped breathing, "well done, Kakashi."

___Akane?_

xxxxx

He waited for confirmation. It was a standard ANBU protocol to check back with the informant before carrying out any assassinations. So he wandered the silent village, waiting. Thinking. He thought about what was only moments ago but felt like years - of being in that warm bed but feeling so cold, of the feel of someone else's blanket against his skin, of the sound of the Daimyo's daughter screaming out his name, staring up at him as if she was in love.

He sure wasn't.

He deluded himself into getting lost in the tone of the Princess' voice. So maybe she craved for real affection as well, and he supposed that he lacked it too. And maybe for a second he deluded himself thinking that that would be enough – but she wasn't. As vulnerable and lonely that Yuuki may have been in her own little way, he couldn't help compare it…compare to three words from a girl he had never spoken to for a long while. In those words, Akane seemed…

Hopeless.

Completely void of any happiness.

And it was that sort of void that made Kakashi rethink everything. Did he really hate her? Hate this one girl who had lost her father, who was forced into growing up? Did he have the ___right _to hate a thirteen year old girl who was afraid to die?

But she was a kunoichi over everything else, as he was a shinobi before he was a boy when he was first thrown into war. And she was a coward.

But when that very same copper-haired ANBU of his nightmares appeared down the road, ___something _had to be the reason why he became suddenly aware of his breathing. She waited for him to come but he didn't quicken his pace, and he was sure behind that mask, she was glaring at him. "Do I have your confirmation to carry out Phase Two?" She asked, her voice quiet but he heard the slightest twinge of that familiar annoyance. He stared straight ahead.

"Yes." That was all he could say but his voice betrayed him and there was the slightest shake that had not been there earlier, when he _didn't_ know who he was talking to.

"Something wrong?"

"No," why did he sound so rough, his voice so raw?

She stopped, and although he forced himself to not look next to him, he heard her feet shuffle the dirt beside him as she shifted. "Kakashi?"

Her prompt forced him to look at her, but that year-long assumption of her character was going to be shattered if he were to look at her - at her eyes - when she was in that mood, or any mood really that wasn't hate. But before he could see even anything above the tip of her mask, she went up on her toes and slipped the mask over his face. He felt the familiar porcelain's cool touch as his eyes widened, hiding his face further yet he felt unbearably exposed when he felt the brush of her fingers down the corners of his face. And that touch alone sent his nerves on fire in the way Yuuki never did, never could.

He wanted to grab her wrist, to bring her close - but then what?

To tell her that he...no.

"Hey Kakashi," he hated her - he was supposed to - she was the scum after all, the garbage of all shinobi...so why was it that his name in that voice of hers make her seem so...so..."It was just a part of the mission." And then she said things like ___that_. Why was she comforting him? Why did she suddenly care for the feelings of others, of others in general when she would leave them to die? One moment he wanted to touch her, and the next, he wanted her far, far away.

"Why did you do it?"

The facade of calmness cracked abruptly and he didn't even have the chance to ___think _of regretting it before she reacted.

She frowned, her eyebrows pulled together but there was no scorn in her eyes at his outburst. "What are you talking about?" Her eyes flickered around her. "This isn't the place to discuss -"

"Your mission in Iwagakure almost two years ago. I heard about it." She stilled, her chin slowly rising so that she could stare down at him disapprovingly but he already said too much now to go back. Maybe it was because he already made enough mistakes, or maybe he was simply losing his mind with sleep deprivation. "Explain to me – make it clear to me as to why you would leave your own squad behind? Just because your first defense of genjutsu didn't work? Was that it? Is that all it takes to shake up Viper?"___When did you become such a coward?_

She didn't respond for several, long seconds.

He swore that she wanted to agonize him the way she stopped again, and said nothing. And for a moment too long she simply stood there - but as soon as he reached out, she was walking ahead of him.

"Are you running away again?" He couldn't help but shout out. His accusation echoed down the road, moonlight between him and making her look farther away than she really was. But that was what he had always known, right? Akane Mikuzen – the girl who was simply too far away, too far gone. She was just proving to him everything he thought about her, everything the other ANBU whispered behind her back: that as soon as she faced anything that was even slightly uncomfortable for her, she was off to the hills by herself. Her and only her. A selfish, childish unsuitable squad captain. It was despicable.

And then she stopped abruptly, as if she gave up on trying to remain calm. She whipped back to him so savagely that he stopped breathing altogether. She tore off her mask and he heard it shatter on the ground but his eyes were focused on the fierce look in those blue eyes as she stormed back at him.

There it was – there was that blue that had haunted him for God knew how long.

She was in his face and her gloved fingers grabbed at the strap of his uniform, dragging him down to her level as she glared at him with the same awfulness of the past. He looked at every inch, every speckle of her face - the lines on her forehead, the way her just-darker-than-her-hair coloured eyebrows were raised in a challenge, each lash that framed her blue eyes, her nose, her lips. And when he thought she would shout back at him or maybe hiss through her teeth, her voice was strangely calm and measured. And as soon as she spoke, she left him there: left the nineteen year old ANBU frozen.

Even minutes after she disappeared, her words replayed in his mind, altering his perspective that had been rock solid for so long.

"___Do you honestly think that I am afraid of death_?"

And as he stared at the broken pieces of her mask, he knew that if that one thing was clear: it was that Viper was not afraid of death, and if anything, the girl that was Akane Mikuzen perhaps even welcomed it.


	11. Chapter 11: Unraveling Friendships

Chapter Eleven: Unraveling Friendships

He heard about it the moment he stepped foot back in Konoha. ___Did you hear? Viper's bringing back 30 million ryo! _He had been away for four days in total, but finished his share by the third. Yet when he arrived in the Hokage's office to give the follow up, Hiruzen Sarutobi was looking out the window with a grim, but wise gaze. "Lord Hokage," Kakashi said as he got down on one knee and bowed respectfully, "Phase Two has been carried out."

"And completed successfully," he added but his tone was dark. Kakashi looked up and stood straight again. "Akane Mikuzen had successfully removed Ryuu Zenjubo, and Asuma Sarutobi has taken his place."

Kakashi froze.

___Asuma?_

"Are you sure that it's the most…careful decision to send your own son to spy on the Guardian Ninjas?" Kakashi asked hesitantly, disregarding the fact that he may be overstepping his boundaries. The Hokage turned around and although he looked like a worried father, he knew that he must act like the village leader in times like this. The Hokage placed his pipe on the table before sitting down, entwining his fingers as he responded. "Asuma does not know, of course, he is simply aware of the offer to work there and due to the recent events, he accepted it."

In other words, the Hokage in his own subtle way had driven his own son to leave. Kakashi had a suspicion that the Elders must have had a part in this whole plan – to go to the City, to assassinate Ryuu, and to have his son take up the spot. All those years of pressuring Asuma of being better, of thinking of the village before himself – and now it was coming to use.

"I see."

"I expect you know not to speak a word about this business outside this room, Kakashi."

"Of course." Obedient as always.

"You may leave – and Kakashi," the older man's voice rose despite the fact that the silver haired shinobi did not move a muscle, "well done."

___Well done_. The exact same words.

"You have the next mission ready to go with Squad 14 as soon as you finish up at the Hospital. Make sure you're in top condition, and be out by dawn. Understood?"

"Yes, Lord Hokage." Five days, no sleep, and he was still expected to function, let alone be in his peak. He couldn't even remember when it was the last time he had eaten – or if he had eaten, period. Still, he could do nothing but bow one last time before making his way to the hospital. He went to the West wing, where a medic-nin who worked with the ANBU often stayed at. And even though he sensed two other people in the other side of the door, he was too tired to really consider it a problem as he opened the door.

And surely, there was the medic-nin Yuri, and next to her was a girl dressed in scars. It was barely a fourth of a second – but Kakashi had clearly saw skin that could have been clear and smooth if it weren't for the scars that crisscrossed and ruined it, and burn marks diagonally bisecting it. He saw the raw, pink flesh and knew –

"Out!"

He blinked.

The girl stiffened, and her arms that had been raised to hold up bright copper hair suddenly dropped and he watched almost mesmerized as locks cascaded down and she turned around, her face betraying no expression.

Yuri, on the other hand, was shouting. "Out! Geesh, you ANBU have no shame between male and female!"

"It's nothing he hasn't seen before," Akane simply murmured as she turned her back towards him. "Just patch me up and give more of that gel so I can –"

"Oh no! Akane, you stay right there. That's a nasty burn and it's going to get infected if I don't take care of it. Besides, you should have had it dressed _before –_ Kakashi, get _outside!_" The mahogany haired medic-nin glared at him until he finally had the decency to cough. ___Akane Mikuzen is practically naked. In front of me. _It was harder to remain like an ANBU captain the more he thought about it. The thought was distracting - he was always aware of the loveliness in her face, and yet, never quite her body. All the while, Akane was hunched over, her chin resting on her palm as her blue eyes wandered around the room.

And then she spoke, and it was the exact same voice that haunted his memory: the voice that whispered of death and betrayal. "No, let him stay," she said softly and her eyes slid towards him. "There's something that needs to be said anyway."

Yuri turned a skeptic eye at Kakashi but she shrugged and didn't object. For a moment, Akane didn't say anything to him, she just twisted her neck and watched through uninterested eyes as Yuri's chakra-coated hands continued to hover over her bare back. Kakashi couldn't help but stare at the girl's slender back, decorated with pale marks of telltale scars and the recent red stains against her skin like frost or branches. All the damage inflicted on her – on an area clad with armour – contradicted everything he knew.

She did not hide behind her genjutsu.

She was on the battle front, and she had gotten hurt.

Suddenly Kakashi was ashamed and he tore his eyes away from the sight. Even _he_ did not have as many scars – in fact, he barely had any – as she did and he was sure that it was not her lack of skill that caused it, but the severity of those missions he ___knew _she went on. "Akane –"

"Kakashi –"

They both stopped immediately, leaving an awkward silence wavering in the air as Yuri stopped. He opened his mouth to try again but Akane beat him to it.

"– listen closely, because I'm not going to repeat myself," she said without looking at him, "you wanted to know about my actions in Iwagakure and here it is. Firstly, I don't want to know ___how _you heard about the exact details nor do I care ___who _told you it but let me make this clear: no matter my explanation, it will not make you feel any better nor will it satiate your curiosity."

He was speechless.

"Whatever you heard was probably correct, and if not, then let me tell you: we were in Iwagakure and I left because we were about to die, and I had to kill those researchers. Hashirama Senju's DNA is more important than several ANBU ninjas and they understood the objective anyway. I did what I have to, and then I left."

He just did not know what to say.

She straightened up and began pulling back on a loose, black top. She quietly got up from the seat, avoiding Yuri's openly surprised expression and stood in front of an equally shocked Kakashi. Was that it? Was that all there was to it – she ___actually _left? There wasn't even a solid reason. She completed her mission, she saw that they were dying and so she left. "I see."

"No, you don't." She said quickly and as she spoke, she slipped the metal plated gloves over each hand carefully, then strapping it at the wrist. "You wanted an explanation that would make it seem more sensible but here is the truth: I am not the girl you used to know. You should know the importance of a mission, and what it means to be a shinobi - let alone an ANBU. If the squad fails to take care of themselves, then they fail. But I will not fail a mission." Everything she said was so horribly rational, and it related too much to the situation with his own father, but...

But why did he so badly wanted a reason to...to what?

___To forgive her._

She stood in front of him now, her brightly coloured hair hanging on her back messily as if she didn't have a care in the world, but now that he had a good look at her – he could see the damages of her life style. Maybe it was that he was surprised to see her back in the City, but now her eyes seemed dull. There were dark shadows beneath them that although made her eyes pale blue in comparison, there was no light in them. She looked almost too thin, the skin over her cheeks too tight and her lip had splits running down them.

She looked exactly the same as when her father had died. Even years later, the haunt had not disappear from his eyes.

She ___wasn't _the girl of his past. She wasn't the thirteen year old girl who was quiet and alone, nor was she the one that killed children. And definitely she was not that six year old girl that would run behind him, offering him sweets and sobbing with her tiny hands curled at her eyes when he rejected them.

No, this Akane was simply lifeless.

"You're up." She said and the way she said it – the way her voice was soft, almost as if she ___expected _him to say something finally made him alert again. He wanted to grab her wrist and stop her right there but instead he waited until she left the hospital that he followed her out. "Akane!"

"What do you want, Kakashi?" She asked, her voice heavy with fatigue but the way she simply said his name was...indescribable. As if she ___knew _him. He was so used to the clipped professional tone when the Hokage, his squad or anyone said his name. And God knew how long had it been since he had spoken to anyone he knew. Asuma, Kurenai, Gai...they were all just reaching twenty years old, reaching their prime and being thrown into more missions than they had ever been. He was isolated from the world, only connected with others through missions and assignments.

Akane was his last hold onto his past, and he didn't want to let her go.

He was sure of that now.

"I want..." what ___did _he want? "I want to be friends."

She stared.

"Is this a joke?" Her eyes scanned around them, as if waiting for a bunch of people to pop up and laugh but instead, she only saw Kakashi Hatake in his ANBU uniform, offering friendship. And he didn't even know ___why _he did it, but he couldn't bring himself to hate Akane any longer. It was exhausting and only made him circle around.

Despite what Obito said, Akane was not scum - not really. She was innocent by ignorance. And the more he forced himself to despise her, the more this irritation in his chest grew. So being the genius he was, he would confront Akane and befriend her in hopes that maybe one day he would understand her and this years-old confusion of her character would end.

"No." He was completely serious and he held out a hand. She was still staring at him warily, but there was just the faintest sign of curiosity in her hesitant movements as she raised her hand to take his. Shinobi gear against gear. His dark eye met her light ones and he couldn't stop looking at her face as she said very slowly, "friends?"

"Friends."

And even with the padding between their hands, he felt a shiver down his back at her touch, at her fingers around his hand.

xxxxx

Kakashi was back into the trend of life-discussions after a long, tiring mission. He felt like any moment now, he would kneel over and fall asleep as soon as they re-entered Konoha territory. "How are you keeping up, captain?" Tenzo asked, his brown hair matted in dirt and peeking out from the mask.

"I can make it back, if that's what you're asking," he said although the fatigue in his voice said otherwise. They exchanged a long look and Tenzo sighed.

"You're overworking yourself," he muttered and the other three on the team laughed in response. It was not a humorous or joyous one, but rather dry as if Tenzo had said something plainly obvious – which he did. "Life must be difficult as captain, huh, Hatake?"

He didn't feel like talking, but he also did not want to be rude. Being bitter to teammates was a trait that had died hard when Team Minato disbanded, and he wasn't going to ignore someone obviously trying to engage him in conversation simply because he was too tired. "There are moments."

"I heard that the other captains are using the Akimichi clan's energy pills."

"But they hardly have time to eat."

"Hey captain, do you have time to eat?"

He ___really _didn't feel like involving himself in the conversation. These ANBU were unlike the ones he usually worked with, but he supposed it was because this had been a long, but tedious guard mission. He was entering his seventh day of no real sleep, living off brief naps of an hour or so each instead and his tolerability level was sensitive. "Yes, I have time to eat." And then he realized that he was lying.

"It must be difficult, anyway," another said. He didn't respond, forcing himself to keep his eyes open and leg moving. He kept on promising himself that as soon as he arrived back into his home at the outskirts of Konoha – the old Hatake house – he would be able to sleep at last, that Tenzo could cover all the necessary reports, that the Hokage would realize that Kakashi Hatake was not invincible, that he was not a robot and that he was a human that needed rest.

But none of that was guaranteed.

"…not all though."

"Not Viper."

Pieces of the conversation caught his interest and although he did not shift his head to hear it better, he was very much attuned to the sound of the men behind him. "That was one mission, and it was her very first one."

"I still don't know what the Hokage was doing, granting her such a respected role when she was ___clearly _not a leader."

"Have you ___been _on any missions with Viper?"

There was a pause, and Kakashi still did not acknowledge their conversation and yet he listened very closely. The other man eventually admitted he did not and the other chuckled. "Well I see why you're doubting her then," he said, sounding borderline arrogant, "she makes life very easy for you."

"Really?" He sounded dubious.

"Really." Kakashi could not forget his very first mission with Akane, to the Land of Stones and at how smoothly it went. All of the other missions were nothing like that, no matter of who was on his squad. "I just stood there and she told me who to kill, and it was as simple as that. But I suppose I did something wrong seeing that it was the last time I worked with her," he said sounding slightly disappointed.

Kakashi blinked – and this time, it was not to do away his tiredness. Rather because he felt very…casual. That Akane had treated him the way she treated everyone else and although he had never deluded himself into thinking that he was particularly special, he did not expect her to treat him like the rest of the ANBU members. Used him once, and almost never again.

"I still don't think she has the material to be of the same league as Kakashi, let alone the candidate for the next Assassinations moderator."

"And why's that?"

"Well…she's only good at one thing. Genjutsu. And Kakashi..." And Kakashi was excellent in nin, tai and gen. And nature transformations. And summoning. And sensory. And nearly all the arts of shinobi. And he was a decent guy, and Akane was terrifying.


	12. Chapter 12: Revelations

Chapter Twelve: Revelations

Akane took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. She impatiently tapped her foot against the floor and at last, the door swung open. "___Finally_," Akane breathed out, ready to tell the Hokage that after everything, she shouldn't be kept waiting when he called on her – but she stopped immediately. The old man smiled, eyes twinkling with grandfatherly light, at Akane as her eyes widen and lips parted in surprise at the sight of his office.

He chuckled fondly.

"Happy Birthday, Akane."

She stared at him, watching him carefully and he only found that more amusing. "And if this is not enough, there's another surprise." She waited and he stood up, walking towards her and holding out his hand.

"Congratulations, Akane," he smiled, "I'm naming you the new Head of Assassinations."

xxxxx

The Third Hokage was more than generous with his gift, but considering the income that Akane brought the village, the flowers were nothing. Still, she was buried underneath the beautiful, colourful bouquet as she walked through the village.

"Akane! Akane Mikuzen!" She stopped at the sound of her name and walking in front of was Gai Maito, beaming as always. It had been years – _years - _since she had last seen him and his outfit and appearance was still visually disturbing nonetheless. How he noticed her behind all the flowers, she didn't know but as soon as he was close to her, she shoved all the flowers into his hands. "Do you mind?"

"Of course, any thing for a damsel in distress," he exclaimed, easily carrying the overbearing amount of flowers. "I haven't seen you in six years, ten months, twenty two days -"

"Yes, it has been awhile." She cut him off. After the initial glance, she couldn't bring herself to fully look at him again. She remembered the hours they shared in the Training Grounds, with him pushing her to the edge of her abilities. She remembered the way people whispered about the training, or how sore she felt afterwards. But all of that - the happier days - felt miles away from her. He kept an energetic one sided conversation about the past, about his life now, about crazy jonin stories, about Kakashi as Akane led him back to her apartment. When she opened the door, he froze at the sheer size and emptiness of it.

"Th-this is your home?"

"That's what it says on the deed." She crossed her arms and watched as Gai placed the four-foot tall flowers on the floor. He opened his mouth to say something when a smile lit up on her face, making him stop and stare. ___She's really…pretty_. And she's smiling…at him?

"Hey, Miko!"

"Miko?" He repeated and turned as a tiny ball of fur launched itself at him, with claws and fangs out and ready.

xxxxx

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as he walked by Gai, whose face was marred with red lines. "How does the other guy look?" He asked, dryly amused. Gai stopped and just shook his head, continuing walking from the opposite direction. ___Hm_.

After a much needed ninety-minute nap, he felt re-energized. In a better mood, he ended up walking into the building, wondering if Akane would even be there. She was, after all, one of the most hard-working ninja in Konoha. He had his hands up to knock on her door when he sensed someone behind him. He turned around and saw a ninja walking behind him. He put his hands in his pockets and looked coolly at the ninja. "What are you doing here?"

"The Daimyo sends his regards to Akane Mikuzen of the Hidden Leaf Village."

"Hm," Kakashi said. The Daimyo? He wondered if this was linked towards the recent assassination and the slightest apprehension of Yuuki talking made him tense. Before he could even knock, the door swung open. "Kakashi?" Her eyebrows pulled together, confused and opened the door wider, leaning over him. "And Sora?"

The ninja bowed respectfully – a full right angle. "The Daimyo congratulates you, Akane. He sends his best." He offered her flowers and she was frowning as she accepted them but thanked him nonetheless. He nodded quickly and disappeared.

"Suitors?" Kakashi asked, making sure the shinobi heard it as she went back inside her home, looking at the card with that ever prominent grimace on her face. She shook her head as she read it and set it down. His eye widened as he noticed all the gifts in her apartment."No," she murmured breezily as she set it down, "my birthday." He blinked.

"Happy Birthday," he said, eye-smiling. She rolled her eyes.

"Sixteen years and still alive." She said. "Fantastic."

Kakashi suddenly came face to face with a little ball of grey.

A cat.

Akane Mikuzen had a cat.

His mind clicked. Ah, Gai must have been yet another bearer of gift and a victim. He suddenly tensed, ready to defend himself from the cat…but the little grey thing was curled up with an arm outstretched to paw at a bright blue daisy. He was too busy staring at the cat curiously to realize that Akane was patiently waiting for him. "Yes?" He asked, not breaking his observation of the grey kitten but he could see her from his peripheral, watching him hesitantly as she bit on her lip.

"I'm just wondering why you're here."

"Can't I just drop by?" He countered and her cerulean eyes narrowed at him suspiciously.

"When I agreed to be friends," she said slowly, "I was thinking more of acquaintances."

"Well I was referring to friendship." He said, still not looking at her.

Her lips twitched and she leaned against the wall. "What exactly are you playing at, Kakashi?"

"Just being friendly."

She frowned at this relaxed man who seemed so care-free and at ease at himself. There was something very steady in his dark eye, something reliable about him. She still didn't understand him and found it completely frustrating that…that he was, for lack of better word, cool…while ___she_ was one step away from the Hokage discharging her for ___too _much dedication to the shinobi life. That and the fact that as soon as she stepped outside Konoha, there may be several mafia groups ready to kill her.

"So," she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, tilting her head to look at Kakashi, "where's my gift?"

At this, she finally had his attention. But when he turned to her to speak, he saw the tiniest of smiles playing at her lips. And all he saw were her eyes, bright blue and he had forgotten whatever retort he had planned. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to speak and at last, he had an idea. "Let's go for a walk."

xxxxx

As ANBU, they could not wander around Konoha in uniform, naturally, and although Kakashi's casual clothing was not too different than his ANBU one, he was a little wary about walking next to Akane. Even wearing all black and showing no skin but her arms, she still attracted attention. Unlike Kakashi, the only thing she really did to deviate from the full ANBU uniform was the fact she did not wear the grey jacket.

For the second time that day, her breath was taken away from her. Kakashi peeked sideways to see the girl staring at the memorial stone before her. This was his secret thinking place, where he went to so often to just…think. A place where he could spill out all his thoughts to the dead without fear of scold or a look of pity and fear. This was the place where all his friends were remembered.

And now, he was sharing it with her.

She didn't care for any of that. She was just staring at the name: Dosu Mikuzen. Her father. Seeing those letters scratched against the rock like that, decreeing this man dead while serving...it unsettled her. "Kakashi," she said quietly, "you were there."

He immediately understood – she was talking about that incident seven years ago. He had shoved back the scene of arriving in the middle of the night in the eery forest, finding the little girl sitting by her father's body, curled up and hugging her legs.

He didn't want to think about it. It reminded him too badly of his own childhood and...and he avoided that image at all cost.

She opened her mouth, and then closed it. He waited, patient. At last, she started, "when my father died -"

Suddenly they both stop with the sharp reaction of all ANBU. Akane didn't even blink when she turned her head and recognized a woman approaching and she grabbed Kakashi by the hand and jumped away, dashing back to the cover of the tree. "Akane -"

Her look silenced him. Metres away below them, two people were walking towards Dosu's grave. And one of them was Akane's mother. Kakashi's eyes flickered to the girl next to him and she looked absolutely horrified. Her hand did not let go of Kakashi's and she held on almost painfully tight as Minami went down on her knees to lay out flowers over Dosu's grave.

"It's been seven years," the woman said quietly, her green eyes hazy.

"Two since Akane's."

Akane's?

Minami looked away, although neither of the ANBU could see her face but there was something that exuded shame in the way she hugged herself, in the way her head was tilted towards the ground, in the way she spoke. "It has."

Two years since _what_?

When Kakashi looked back at Akane, her face was wiped of any emotion. And it took him only half a second of looking at her now cool expression that he understood what the two years referred to.

Minami thought Akane was dead.

Except, she wasn't. Akane was _clearly_ alive and the Hokage would have told her mother if otherwise. Which could only mean that...

That Akane was dead _to_ her.

She let go of his hands and before he could even say anything, she disappeared.

xxxxx

Her mother preferred her dead.

As if it wasn't enough that she had witnessed her father dying, now, she knew that her mother wanted her daughter to die along with him.

And even with this revelation, for the life of her, she could not _feel _disappointment. She just felt twisted up inside, she felt horribly uncomfortable – but she couldn't...process it. She didn't scream, she didn't shout, she didn't cry. . She felt completely empty. And _that _tortured her. The idea of not being able to feel anything tormented her.

She had been numb for so long that now, she didn't know how to react. So instead, she spun the kunai around her fingers to distract her, breathing fast and then stopped abruptly.

No inner pain called for outer.

Suddenly the blade was running down her wrist, breaking apart flesh and blood sprung up to the surface. But even with the sense of pain, she couldn't escape the feeling of self hatred. As much as she tried, she couldn't hurt herself physically as much as her mind had been injured. Completely shattered and broken beyond repaired.

xxxxx

Kakashi had made a mistake in bringing Akane to the grave, and he knew it.

Although he had not intended Minami to be present, he knew that she would. She visited weekly to Dosu's grave, never failing to miss replacing the flowers since the day he had died but never once had she ever brought up Akane. Ever. Perhaps it was because Kakashi was an ANBU member and it intimidated her to talk – they had never exchanged a word before, with the exception of weather talk because after all, he was a stranger – but she had never came with company before either. He didn't know _what _changed it this time, but he knew that because of this "friend" that had prompted Minami to speak, it revealed something that should not have been said in front of her daughter that was still very much alive.

Kakashi understood Akane's abrupt departure. It made sense that she needed time to herself. After all, she was abandoned by her mother. He was alone, true, but he was also never _left_. Death had taken people away from him, never choice. He was willing to give her space. But when five days passed and the Hokage informed him that she had been completely unresponsive, it wasn't surprising that Kakashi was the only one who decided to check on her. There was no response and he knocked again. And again. And again.

"Akane!" He called out. "I know you're in there." He leaned in, his forehead resting on the cool, wooden door. He could sense her chakra, hear her cat prowl around all waiting patiently for his mistress to allow him to pounce. When she still ignored him, he sighed and smashed the door open, sending it crashing against the wall. "What are you –" He stopped abruptly.

Lying in front of him was Akane on her side, her long hair spilling over her shoulders, fingers on the floor and resting on her cat. But it was her eyes – the dead look in those dulled blue eyes – that made him stop. Her face against the floor, eyes distant and far-gaze. Something inside of him flipped and there it was: that protective instinct again. And it was back with a vengeance. She looked so vulnerable, so alone…and seeing her sprawled on the floor like that reminded him when he was younger…when his father died…

And it didn't matter anymore that she had killed so many people: men, woman, parents, children, or even her own comrades. She was his friend, and he would ___show _her what friendship was, even if he didn't quite know what it was either. "Akane," his voice broke the silence, "what happened?" He asked his one visible eye large. She looked at him but was too tired to respond. She sighed long and heavy and allowed him to drag her to a sitting position. She could barely keep her eyes open. His eye flickered to her wrist – where blood had dried and clung to her skin over black marks and he winced with understanding.

He remembered a long time ago, when Minato was still alive, that Akane had been on suicide watch.

"Did…did you?" The moment then was surreal. He had heard about plenty of shinobi with mental problems – being on the brink of insanity because of their killer instinct. But he had to shamefully admit that he never expected Akane to even have much of a conscience to feel guilt.

"No," her voice was dry and scratchy, "I don't want to die." She didn't intend to kill herself, but she didn't want to live either. Committing suicide was a goal, but not wanting to live was simply being…empty. And that was what she was: empty. Horribly empty.

She didn't care anymore. She sighed and leaned in against him, resting her forehead against his shoulder. He inhaled sharply, startled. And yet, it felt only natural for his arms to go around her, bringing her close. He felt each tickle of her hair, the heat from her breath, each curve of her body against his. And then, he held on tighter.

"I don't want to live either." She breathed out, closing her eyes. She felt his warmth, heard his heartbeat. And then she was laughing and he was sure she was going insane. "Is this what friends do? I thought I remembered but I'm not so sure now."

"I'm sorry." He said and his voice was low and so genuinely apologetic and everything felt too concentrated - on their voices, on their heat, on their closeness. His hands slip down her back, fingers running along her sides. "I don't know." Anymore.

She laughed again, bitterly and darkly. "I thought you knew everything." Her voice was gentle but not quite ___there_. It was as if whatever spirit or soul she had disappeared, and it was just her body left. Her arm dropped by to her side but he didn't let go of her. He wasn't used to her being so ___close. _This idea of Akane Mikuzen had always been distant to him - confusing, and far fetched. And yet here she was, raw and uncovered and vulnerable.

And although he wore his mask, he had this sense that if he just leaned down...

Then her eyes sharpened. "What are you doing?

He didn't know what to say. It was as if he had just woke up from a dream - and she was too close to him. Things were getting too personal. He ___allowed _things to get too personal. It was easier seconds ago - he didn't know what changed, but it did. And he almost slipped, almost opened himself up to her. He had to set up a wall between her and him or else things would…change. More. "The Hokage has been worried about you."

And then she lost it.

She threw him back, ___shoved _him off.

He was there because of the ___Hokage_? She was being monitored. Fucking fantastic. Was he ___sent _to watch her? The entire short friendship had to have been a cover for the Hokage to spy on her. And then she felt like an idiot for even falling for it.

No, more than an idiot. She felt humiliated. Someone had seen her here and vulnerable, and he was going to report back to the Hokage. Maybe then he would whisper about it to the other ANBUs, laughing. ___And she actually thought I would be friends with her too! Imagine that! Who the hell could trust Viper like that? _She could just see it unfolding and she actually ___fell _for it, fell for the idea of friendship.

And the fact that it was Kakashi the one laughing at her made it hurt just a bit more.

"Get out."

"What?" ___Where did this come from?_

"I said," her eyes, ever so slightly, flickered towards what he thought was a calm kitten, "get out."

"Akane, maybe we should –"

And before he could finish, a tiny cat was flying towards his face and Akane disappeared out the window. Her foot scuffled on the ground; dust flew around her heels as she looked around. It was dark enough outside that she didn't mind not being clad in black and hidden underneath a mask but a side of her honestly did not care. She wanted to shout to the world, 'here I am!' while another wanted nothing more than to disappear in the darkness that she had hid in for all these years.

But she decided on the shadows and retreated into her own world yet again.


	13. Chapter 13: Kakashi Hatake

Chapter Thirteen: Kakashi Hatake

Could he just leave?

___No_. Kakashi Hatake sighed and took a respectful distance away from the demon spawn – er, cat. Kitten. The little, grey furry ball seemed to lose his anger as soon as Akane disappeared, as if it had nothing to protect anymore. He had never met a cat quite like that. Even so, the copy-nin took a step back but when it started to turn its head as if looking for Akane, Kakashi felt…bad. He couldn't bring himself to leave the wide-eyed kitten.

He touched the door knob and the kitten started meowing nervously. The pity grew. "Do you want food?" He asked hesitantly. Was this a ninken? It was oddly protective of its owner, after all, but unlike Kakashi's own ninken, Miko didn't reply back. Just a little purr. The kitten looked ___afraid_ and it was all too odd. What happened to the vicious beast? The devil reincarnated that attacked him on cue? This was just a scared ball of fur.

No, he couldn't leave Akane's cat alone. He sighed yet again and walked to the kitchen looking for food. Maybe it was just hungry, he knew from Pakkun and the rest of his ninken how much better food can make things. Kakashi figured he could leave as soon as the cat began to eat and slip out unnoticed. But as soon as he poured some kibbles onto the dish, the cat was still too hesitant to approach him. Instead it prowled around the room, yowling nonstop with its ears flat down. For something so small, it could be loud. "Alright, alright! What do you want?" Kakashi groaned. "Milk? A toy?"

But the kitten didn't stop and when Kakashi decided to give up and leave, the cat silenced immediately. The way the tiny thing paced in a circle before lying down right in front of the door hit yet another soft spot for Kakashi. He didn't like cats, but he couldn't leave the baby feline like this…

"I'll just wait for Akane to come back," he sighed and sat down. The cat, that was about the size of his palm, jumped onto his lap and knowing that no one else was around, Kakashi Hatake cracked a smile as he pet the kitten. "I guess we're both waiting for her, then."

xxxxx

People stared. Hard. With Akane fully exposed and still in her leisure clothing – the simple, tight sleeveless black top, tucked in a more breathable black pair of pants – and hair shockingly bright, she drew the attention like she once did when she was younger and vain. Perhaps she shouldn't have come out of her hiding this time at evening, when people finished their training or began leaving restaurants and homes.

"Is the Hokage here?" She asked impatiently. She had leap to the window several times and there had been no sign of him. The jonin at the desk stammered a bit as he looked down at his papers.

"Lord Hokage usually does his rounds at the village around this –" But before he finished, Akane had already disappeared. She practically flew around the village with the speed she went at, looking for him. When her eyes finally found the brimmed hat, she stopped in front of him. "My Lord," she said, about to bow but he coughed loudly.

"You're not in your uniform," he reminded and gave her a wrinkling smile, "no need for such formalities."

She shrugged and stood up and noticed who he had been talking to. He was a young boy, with dark hair long enough to be pulled back in a slight ponytail. She recognized his attire as an Uchiha immediately and placed him as Itachi Uchiha - the boy the ANBU were excitedly waiting to join up to their ranks. Behind him was a little boy, clutching on the back of his shirt who blushed slightly when Akane's blue eyes flickered to him. He hid closer behind his older brother - who had heard about Viper and knew that it was his cue to leave. With a respectful bow, the Uchiha brothers left and so she faced the Hokage again. As soon as they were alone, Akane lost all pretense of normalcy and her cobalt eyes narrowed threateningly.

"Do you really think it's necessary to monitor me?" She asked, her voice low, practically a hiss. She knew that the Hokage probably had some men watching in on them, none of them afraid to take down Akane at the slightest sign of violence - a violence they had been expecting for months now. "Don't think I don't know that the promotion to Head of Assassins is just another way to -"

"I don't know what you are talking about." He said coolly. She stared at him for a long while, trying to weigh whether or not he was being honest, but it was hard to tell. Although she was sure that now as Captain, she would be on noticeably less missions and spend more time monitoring and briefing them, the situation with Kakashi was less confirmed. Before she could question him further, he continued. "I didn't send anyone, Akane." He said neutrally. "I have trust in you to take leaves when you find necessary. But of course, it's not to say I am not curious."

She didn't respond, her mind scattered. "I hope you're not lying to me."

Despite the dangerous edge to her voice, the old man sighed. He wondered what went inside her head sometimes, and why she was so suspicious of everyone. It was no longer the Hokage there, but an old guardian that put his hand on the girl's shoulder. "Akane, the village is your family. And if you were to ever leave the ANBU Black Ops, I would be more than supportive of it."

He watched to see if his words sunk in, but her face had that same wall of ice. She hated the amounts of time he brought that up - as if he ___wanted _her to leave. Didn't he get the hint? There was nothing she was good at except this. She couldn't run around with little genin, and she sure as hell could not do chore missions. "I wouldn't do that. Ever."

He frowned. "I know, Akane." He knew that very well.

xxxxx

It had been three full days since she left Kakashi and Miko there. She supposed her anger towards Kakashi had been a misunderstanding and although he deserved an apology, she knew she wasn't going to give it. She felt too...close to him and it made her uncomfortable. So she overreacted, okay. She would just let enough time to slip after this incident for him to naturally forgive her, or better yet, forget about her.

Her cat was smart enough to find all the food when necessary but he still wasn't used to Akane leaving without tickling his collar or kissing his furry face before going. She leapt on the balcony top to see a tall, silver-haired ANBU crouching down to play with her kitten's ears as Miko dipped his tiny tongue into the milk, something in her chest stirred.

Damn it, Kakashi.

He wasn't ___supposed _to stay and take care of Miko. He was supposed to leave and let months pass before he could visit again with good humour and the events of that night forgotten. His eye flickered up and she knew that she couldn't escape unseen. She sighed and slipped through the glass doors and pulled down the curtains even though it was now dark outside.

"You're back," he sighed with obvious relief. Her apartment was a mess – cupboard doors left open, food here and there, and all of Miko's belonging out in the open. A part of Akane wondered if Kakashi had summoned his ninken out to play with her cat. "Were you here the entire time?" She asked awkwardly, not looking at him but rather at Miko who ran to her and started rubbing his face at her ankles affectionately. He took one step closer to her and already, she felt as if he had invaded her personal space.

"Yeah," he touched his hair and cleared his throat, "your cat wouldn't let me leave."

"Hm," she said thoughtfully. If he really wanted to, he simply could have. He could kill others but not abandon a cat…her cat…odd. She sighed, closing her eyes and running her fingers back through her copper locks. "Miko tends to do that."

He winced at the sight of her wrist. He thought of the blood that crusted her skin and hid the old tattoo, of the dead look in her blue eyes and the soft tone she had when she admitted to him that she didn't want to live – all because of him. And he covered up for his mistakes, and his statement about the Hokage would flip the powers between the two - and that was why she was angry. But it meant that it worked, that it was ___she _who was slipping - not him. He watched as she crossed the apartment to her door and opened it for him. "You can leave now."

But did he want to? Not quite. Things didn't feel tied up. With one hand, he pushed the door closed. "Wait," he said quietly, "I think I should apologize." He didn't want to bring it up again, and knowing her volatile nature, he decided to start somewhere else. "When I said we should be friends...I meant it."

It was her time to flinch now and she looked away from him, even though he was very, ___very _close to her. She leaned back against the door but he didn't move back. His eye stayed on her and she felt too exposed. She wanted to put that embarrassing and ___too close _incident behind her. All she remembered was Kakashi leaning in, and regardless of the fact that he had been wearing a mask - she saw him. She ___really _saw him, and that frightened her, and that was why she stopped before anything could have happened.

Things they would regret.

Maybe.

"Apologies don't mean anything," she said in a clipped, professional tone but then the guarded expression faltered. "They're just words."

He paused. Her voice was quiet and almost shy and hearing her so vulnerable made him feel bad. For whatever reason, he thought of Miko and his owner – their tendency to make him feel this way. Like he could never abandon them even if they clawed his face or killed others. They were so incredibly frustrating, bringing up emotions that he had thought he lost - as if he couldn't ___see _them, couldn't fully understand them. "They are." He agreed. "But they're true."

"Okay___."_

___Again _with that soft tone. Why was it always that she did that? One moment she was easy to talk to because it was purely objective and there was not a touch of fear of offending her, and the next she was shut down from the world and everything he said would feel too ___close. _She was constantly shifting, volatile and yet emotionless and it was pushing his restraint.

He was sick of it. Sick of power struggles, of moralities, of hiding.

He groaned and threw off his ___hitai-ate _and tore down his mask, irritated. Something about her made him want to fully see her with ___both _his eyes, to see and hear and talk to her with nothing in between them. He wanted nothing in between Akane and he. No walls.

"Listen to me, really listen, Akane."

She wasn't listening, she was too busy staring.

So this was Kakashi Hatake.

She straightened up and although she did not exactly lean towards him, he still felt as if she was closer. Without the mysteriousness of the mask that he had built up all his life, there was a certain cool and assured expression in his gaze, in his black and red eyes. She saw each line of his face, each curve, each angle - the scar that ran over his left eye, the strong, defined but narrow jaw line, the angled nose and the moving mouth. More than that, she saw agitation in his eyes when he was talking and she wasn't listening at all.

"Huh."

And the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. He was frowning, and she could ___actually _see it. "Were you listening to anything I've been saying?"

"No." She simply said. He closed his eyes, turning away as he pulled back up his mask but quicker than she could stop herself, she stopped him. Her fingers grabbed at the sleeves of his shirt and - warmth? She dropped his arm hastily. What was she expecting - a cold, metal arm of a robots? Fur of an animal? And yet, she didn't know how to respond when she felt his skin beneath her fingertips for that one slight moment. "Sorry."

He gave up the attempt of covering his face up. The last time had he seen Akane with both his eyes open, he had hated her. But now looking at the girl with only the light streaming in through the balcony, at the girl ___not_ clad in gear with ___the _look in her eyes, he could. "Don't be." His voice sounded too loud in this big, empty apartment. He cleared his throat, his voice dropping several pitches and the fatigue of everything - of his life, of putting up with her, of just constantly ___going _- was clear in that rasp. "We're friends, aren't we?"

Her blue eyes flickered up at him. "Friends." She repeated carefully.

And it was in that moment he knew it was a lie.

Whether it was hatred or admiration, he didn't know. But he knew there was something there. Maybe not when he was younger but that was simply because little boys didn't care for little girls. But this eighteen year old man did care for this damaged sixteen year old girl. She was a constant in a life that was unpredictable. And behind that shadow that clung to him - the shadow of self-hatred, of loneliness, of anger and aloof and of everything but happiness - was Akane, always.

He had always told himself that he thought of her because she was a remnant of his past. But now, that idea came at a new light: maybe he simply wanted her there in the present as well.

"Friends," he said again but this time, he was closing the distance between them. He felt her heat, could clearly see the outline of her face. Her eyebrows pull together but he didn't stop.

"Kakashi -"

And then he kissed her.

He expected her to pull back and maybe punch him hard. But no – instead, he felt her lips part in a gasp and she froze…before practically melting in front of him. It was as if she gave up as well and then she was holding his face – his bare, exposed face – closer to hers desperately. He felt the warmth of her fingertips on his face, the urgency her mouth moved against his as if she was craving for touch all these years. And maybe she did.

He remembered lying to himself when he was with others for the sake of a mission. And something about that numbed him to real desire, to real pleasure.

But the way Akane was kissing him right now as if her life depended on him, the way she was holding him, the way she was pressed against him made everything real again. And he did not deny it - it felt good. It felt good to throw every thought to the back of his mind except the sensations of then and there, of friction and pressure and ___her._ He circled his arms around her, holding her closer and bringing her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist and then he was moving. He wasn't sure ___what _was happening or ___how _it had happened but it didn't matter much to him because this was Akane.

The fragile, thin relationship he shared with her was a constant in his world that he had not recognized until now. And he wanted to take all he can out of it before his ___other _side would reign in and take control and set up that armour again.

He heard her frantic breathing as he lowered her into the bed. He looked down at her glassy blue eyes for approval and she just nodded, not saying anything. She was already missing his warmth already.

Unlike Kakashi, she couldn't bring herself to ever be intimate with anyone. The touch would disgust her – the touch between her and a stranger. But Kakashi wasn't a stranger and all the things she had repressed were surfacing. It was hitting her now - and with a vengeance. All the human touch that she was devoid of for so long and had repressed was now screaming out, craving everything all at once She wanted to feel his skin against hers. Her hands explored his body, slipping up through his shirt, tracing their way around his back – skin over a lean but clear layer of muscle. She felt warmth on her fingertips, but cool cotton on the other side and shivered. Her hands slipped down to his pouch and pulled out a kunai and recklessly tore through his clothing. She ripped them out and he laughed a low but very amused laugh.

"Shut up," she muttered but didn't stop leaving a trail of kisses down his smooth jaw. She was desperate for ___something _after all these years of feeling absolutely nothing.

"Sure, captain," he said with mock respect. And as his mouth found the base of her neck, she gasped as shivers burst down her spine, around her knees, and made her toes curl. Her fingers clawed down his back and she was fairly sure that he was going to get some nasty cuts tomorrow morning.

___Morning_.

How far this was going to go? She wasn't sure, and in that moment she didn't really care.

Set the world on fire. Set the village. Set _them_. It didn't matter to her - to neither of them.

Everything had just been tied up for so long, so much going back and forth with this man. This was not love, nor was it lust - it was just passion...passion that she hadn't been exposed to. She pressed her palms on his chest and pushed him up. One wide intensely dark eye and a bold, distinctly red looked down on her. "Akane –"

As much as haring her name in his raw, rough voice only made her toes curl, it also was a stark reminder of _who _she was.

Immediately, she shot back up.

Everything, forgotten.

"Kakashi." She began moving back, crawling back and off him. She shook her head, clearing her throat. "I..." What could she say now? Suddenly, the weight of everything they had done in that desperate, frantic minutes was crashing down on her. "I can't do this."

And when he looked up, breathless, into the frightened blue eyes of Akane Mikuzen, he could only laugh. A dry, not quite happy but definitely not bitter laugh. Running his fingers back through the mess of his silvery hair, he fell backwards into the bed. "I know."

She watched him carefully; she watched the way his chest began moving again, steadily, calming his heartbeat. Biting her lip, she approached him closer and said in a rush -

"Don't leave, okay?"

One eye peeked open – the Sharingan – and despite everything, he smiled.

"I won't." _I promise. _

xxxxx

When he woke up, the orange hair that tickled his bare face made his eyes open sleepily. Even in the half awake, half slumber, he thought of only one thing.

___Akane_.

Memories of the night before – of the raw passion, of the rediscovery of feelings he thought he lost in this ANBU life of his, of the warmth, of ___her _– made him smile. And then he remembered that nothing happened..and yet everything had. They simply talked for the rest of the night – talked and looked up at the ceiling and petted Miko and occasionally her fingers found his and she drew him close...

His arms tightened instinctively around the woman in his arms. The feeling of having something to hold was so foreign to him, but brought yet another smile to his face. She stirred, mumbling something incoherent. "Good morning," he murmured.

She made a sound that he took as a ___be quiet _before burying herself closer to him – then her eyes flew open revealing the sapphire ones that he couldn't stare enough at. She seemed confused and as she recalled the earlier light and then she groaned. Despite this, his smile deepened. Half way through her noise of complaint, she stopped and looked at him curiously, almost childishly. "You stayed," she mumbled as her fingers trailed the skin on his shoulder, down his arm as sleepy eyes watched with a serene sort of passiveness. Just that little touch made him close his eyes and relish in it, the pleasure like no other.

When he opened his eyes, he met her blue ones and there was a smile on her lips as she murmured, "It's only because you took care of Miko." He chuckled at her automatic defensiveness but he couldn't hide the fact that his pride was hurt at her abrupt excuse of what was the perhaps the most memorable thing he had experienced his entire life.

"Well I'm glad that it was me and not…I don't know, Gai who decided to check up on you."

The mention of the bushy-browned jonin made her shiver. He inwardly wondered why the hell he would bring up someone like ___that _at a moment like ___this_. If he was hoping that she would warm up towards him, all chances of that disappeared. She sat up in the bed, fingering her messy copper hair and he thought that she had never looked more beautiful. Dishevelled messy hair and sleepy blue eyes…

Everything made a little more sense now.

And for a distracted moment, he was sure that if anyone had ever seen Akane like this – nobody would hate her. They would want to do the opposite; to protect her. Hold her. Show her the world, to show her that there was as much to love as there was to hate out there.

She stretched and yawned but that movement did things to her body that made him want to drag her back into bed but she was already moving and stopped. "Now what are we going to do with this?" She asked, her eyes light with amusement as she held up the dark fabrics. He shrugged but she had already dropped the remains of his clothing and slipped on a robe before leaving the room and going to the kitchen. She reached up to the cupboards and refilled the dish, her actions feeling…normal.

Because for once, she had not wake up breathless and sweating and shouting about nightmares. She didn't wake up with Miko urgently licking her face, reminding her where she was. She didn't wake up moving to place on weapons onto her ANBU uniform that was more familiar to her than skin before leaving for yet another mission. Instead she woke up next to a man with mismatched eyes that stared at her as if she wasn't Viper, woke up feeling light, woke up to caring after Miko instead of the other way around. And it was nice.

When she turned around, she saw the white-haired ninja conspicuously wearing only his dark pants. Her eyes ran down his torso, well defined with muscle and she disguised her slightly laugh with a cough. He looked at her curiously, his Sharingan peering at her. "Something funny?"

"Nothing."

"Hm, nothing," he repeated.

"You like to repeat me, I noticed." She commented distractedly as she ransacked her cupboards for food, and only finding ration bars and stacks of pills for every possibly condition - fast muscle repair, energy, wakefulness, headaches, even cramps – but no food in sight. "Something wrong?" Kakashi asked, snapping her out of her reverie. She shook her head, but the bothersome worry was evident in her face. She rubbed her eyes, flicking her hair back from her face and something about those sleepy movements made him come closer. He stood in front of her, leaning towards her with his hands on either side of her, trapping her.

But now with him here, it brought another question to mind. Where was this going? Did she ___care _for Kakashi? Last night was just merely her giving into all temptation and allowing someone in. She was all hot and angry and bothered by his behaviour and her mind just wanted a release from it all. But did she ___love _Kakashi? Even this close to him, she didn't think that she did.

Sure, she was obsessed with him as a little girl…but that was a decade ago. Now that they were on the same level, he wasn't Kakashi Hatake the great shinobi, the prodigy anymore…he was Kakashi, her petsitter. Her stomach dropped at the idea of…not being in love with Kakashi. Of never loving anyone – that idea was very real to her. She couldn't quite imagine herself with anyone. It was hard to once you killed so many. Relationships simply were out of the question.

"Akane?"

She met his deep gaze but when she didn't reply, he tipped her chin up so they were only centimetres a part, but he didn't kiss her. Maybe that was what she needed, just that connection to humanity.

But to Kakashi, it was unbelievably more. It was the first real companionship he had really experienced. He was born without a mother's touch and then filled with bitterness at the death of his father. Minato's relationship with him taught him several things but it was Obito's death that really formed the character that was Kakashi Hatake. Just as he opened up to his sensei who showed him more depth - he died too. He didn't even want to think about that relationship with Rin. His rivalry with Gai provided a sense of normalcy and his friendships with Asuma and Kurenai – two of the greatest jonins of Konoha – only added to his advance shinobi surroundings. They were friends, but friends that alienated him from rest of Konoha.

But it was that one night with Akane that made him feel...normal. For the first time ever in his life, Kakashi Hatake had felt normal.


	14. Chapter 14: At Last

Chapter Fourteen: At Last

As the days passed, their "friendship" became evident.

Kakashi wasn't whipped but without a doubt, the more time he spent with Akane, the stranger he became. Kakashi Hatake was one of the many ANBU called away on missions to the point where he couldn't even keep food in his apartment. But there he was: ___grocery shopping_. Eating food pills or ration bars simply couldn't cut it anymore.

"How youthful of my rival to carry out crucial tasks to replenish the source of all energy!" Gai cried out when he saw a rather tired-looking white haired man examine an apple carefully. Kakashi sighed.

He had arrived back in Konoha after a long mission yesterday evening and there was Akane, twisted up in his blankets and he had planned to just slip in bed next to her and allow himself to crash…and he had. Sleeping was a means of recharging but not relaxing or a luxury he often indulged in yet with a warm body right next to him, it was easy to get lost in it. But several hours later, she woke up panting and shaking and the remnants of her last mission caused yet another nightmare.

It was something he sometimes experienced when he slept too much – too much being maybe three, four hours. If Kakashi were to ever go asleep without being completely drained and too exhausted for dreams, he would wake up to nightmares. But since the nights Akane joined next to him in bed – simply that, just them close to each other – it became more bearable. He had never expected a comfort like a body next to him to bring him such relief, but Akane did. But he didn't tell her that, he didn't want to jinx it.

Just the idea of slipping in early in the morning, crawling into bed and having Akane there with an arm thrown over him...

"Hm?" He shifted his head to the side. "Did you say something?"

And just like that, Gai was drowning in praise, envy and self pity, shouting all at once about something that Kakashi wasn't paying attention to, only waving at his Eternal Rival slightly before leaving.

Outside was a bright and sunny day – one of the few days where he wasn't required to take part in any mission. Akane herself had many days off now that the Hokage had her on watch through the disguise of ___private lessons _with an undisclosed person.

"Hey, Kakashi!"

He turned around and saw Kurenai Yuhi. His face dropped. He liked her all right, but all he wanted to do was ___sleep_. He raised his arm weakly and smiled at her slightly. Priorities, he realized, it was everyone's over his own. They chatted for several minutes and when Kurenai finally said her goodbye, three ANBU body-flicked in front of him and it took all his restraint to not knock them out right then and there so that he could return home. "Kakashi, we require your expertise."

He fingered his tousled white hair and closed his eyes for a moment too long, teasing his body of rest that wasn't going to happen any time soon. "Fine." And yet again, he was off. When he ended up in a room deep in the Hokage Monument – where ANBU often met up – they briefed him on the bombs they found outside Konoha and he was being dragged off yet again to inspect them.

Four hours later, he arrived back in Konoha with dismembered timers and nonreactive landmines in hand. It wasn't a hard task – but whoever had left them there was hell of a lot skilled with chakra control. The precision required to deactivate the bombs would have been difficult if it wasn't for the fact that he was every bit of a genius they hailed him to be. He just hoped they would give the task of finding who dug them there to someone else.

For the fourth night in the row, he arrived back into his home – with the food abandoned somewhere – to see Akane curled up on his bed. Nothing looked more welcoming. He threw off his uniform and metal plated guards and slid in behind her, slipping one arm underneath her and the on top of her waist to hold her tight against him. When she felt his legs bend behind hers, she murmured, "No, no…none of that. I'm exhausted."

In spite of his own exhaustion, he laughed. "I completely understand."

She made what sounded like a mumble of agreement and snuggled closer to him. But that was it – no passionate touches that set each other's skin on fire or redefined ___love making _– simply being comfortable enough to sleep next to each other. And for shinobi whose guards were constantly up, it was a feat to be cherished.

Even though he felt sleepy, his hand slipped beneath the rim of her shirt and his finger traced circles over her skin and he was very aware of the way she smelled, and it wasn't ___just _because his senses were incredibly heightened. Soap and water could not completely hide the scent of ashes that covered her, making him curious as to what exactly she had been doing all day. And feeling the skin beneath his finger tips, or the warmth, or the hair that tickled his face was waking him up.

"I said," she mumbled once he continued to absently-mindlessly touch her, "I'm ___tired_."

He didn't want to stop though. Feeling her skin beneath his fingers was oddly calming. He never thought he would see the day where Akane would be in his arms, let alone telling him to stop. But he didn't listen and she must have been genuinely tired for she moved away onto the other side of the bed, facing him. But she was looking at him and within seconds, she sighed and inched closer to him.

"Good night, Kakashi." And like four years ago, she fell asleep easily. But exactly like the years before, he couldn't despite his fatigue. He stared at her, wondering how many times men and maybe women alike had called Akane Mikuzen beautiful.

Because even though it had been years since had had first seen her, months when he hated her, and days since he offered his friendship – he had never gotten over the fact that Akane was lovely as she was disturbed but now, Akane was his.

xxxxx

She woke up to a scream.

She shot up straight and whipped around, consumed by panic, and all she saw was Kakashi facing down on the mattress, his back arched over as he screamed into a pillow – the bones of his knuckles prominent as his fingers clawed into the pillow, screaming, always screaming. He was screaming into the pillow and she crawled over quickly to him, turning him over so that he was lying on his back and she pulled down his mask. He was pale all over, sweating. His mouth was open, and he was panting and his eyes were squeezed shut and there were veins popping at the side of her foreheads as his head tossed to both side. She threw herself over him, holding him down and spreading out his arms, her hands down her wrist.

"Kakashi," she whispered, letting go of one arm so that she could touch his face. She could feel the sweat on his now bare face, and he was still gasping for air, his body convulsing beneath her and she let go of both his arms to hold onto his face. "___Kakashi_," she said, louder this time, "come on. Wake up – wake up, you're just having a nightmare."

But he didn't stop his frantic breathing, and she could see his eyes racing beneath his eyelids.

But all he saw was blacks and greens and browns of the forest, running through it, feeling the wind against his face and through his hair as he ran off, wondering, where did Rin go? She was ___right _behind him – she had to go first, it didn't matter ___what _was inside of her, he needed to get her safe. He needed to get her to Konoha. He ___had _to protect her.

But then the next moment, all he saw was blinding whites and blues, the sparks of his chidori – but her face, her body that was lodged through his arm. Her big, brown eyes losing its light as his own consume hers, piercing her heart.

He remembered feeling her flesh, her heart, her crushed bone as his hand drove through her chest.

He remembered her ___begging _to kill her, so that she would not kill the village.

___I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

"Kakashi, please – come back to ___me_."

And there was Obito, half of him – gone. He saw the blood that seeped, infringing on the other half that wasn't crushed by the rock. He saw the sweat that ran down Obito's face as he lied, as he said it didn't hurt at all – as if Kakashi could not see the way he was trembling, the way blood peaked on the other side of the rock, the side that Rin could not see.

And he remembered the pain as his eye was dug out of him, as Rin's fingers pressed upon new eyes – ___his _eyes.

And then his eyes shot open, and he was staring into blue ones. Eyes so blue and clear that each little shard of grey surrounding the pupil were so distinct, darker copper eyelashes framing them – brightening them. And her mouth was moving, and she was saying his name but he didn't see anything but her face, and even then, his mind was still back there – back in the past, back replaying all the things he had repressed. It was two realities all at once, his mind unable to separate the past from the present. And his sanity, slipping with each breath.

Frantic, unsteady breaths.

"It's okay, you're okay now," she was whispering and he could only nod, his eyes rolling everywhere now – from the ceiling, to the corners, to the plain white walls, to the wooden ground, and then at last back to her. Her face was softer than it ever has been before, softer than it was when she was a child's, or when she was in distress – she was ___worried _for him. "Hey, Kakashi," she said, her voice was quiet, and yet it was trying to pull him back, to separate his thoughts from what he was seeing. She straightened up, her hand dropping to his chest. "Hey, are you here?"

He was seeing stars behind her head, explosions of bright lights and colours he couldn't distinguish, but she was there – steady. And with each inhale, with each exhale, he was calming down. His vision straightened. His heart slowed. His thoughts cleared up.

"Akane," he said quietly and he closed his eyes for a long while, before opening them again. "Akane," her name, enough, did something to him. "I'm okay."

She didn't look convinced, but seeing that he was no longer shaking, she got off of him and stood up. She looked down at him, her hands by her hips as she inspected the room closer now. His sword was thrown over, his ANBU mask across the roomer, sandals turned over and gloves flung near the wall. She recognized this scene well – exhaustion. Just the urgency to get everything off so that he could jump into bed to collapse, and sleep. And that was when the nightmares would have taken over.

But she remembered talking to him, murmuring in the dark. He sounded okay.

"What happened?"

"I," his throat was dry as he sat up slowly, his back hunched over and his legs crossing as he leaned forward on his elbows. His hand raked through his hair and down his face, "I can't speak about it."

She frowned, and then crouched down so that she was at eye level with him. She placed a finger beneath his chin and he was forced to stare at her cool eyes, her now unhappy face. The feel of her skin against his – even a calloused area like finger tips against his chin – made him suddenly more aware of his breathing. "You know," she said slowly, although it was not with the same warmth as earlier, but rather a slow and calculative tone, "I've always hated your tendency to follow the rules."

He didn't respond, his eyelids feeling heavy. He saw her clearly despite the darkness of the room, his Sharingan peering into her. Her eyes were even brighter, and he could see each fleck of blues and whites and greys and golds, like the ocean with all its white-capped waves. Suddenly, he was exhausted and he wanted nothing more than to sleep – but he didn't want to be flung back into the past like that, to relive through everything he had regretted.

"I'm going to take a walk," he said instead, his voice rough and low. She heard a hollowness in it, and he could see each fraction of her face changing from the disapproving one, to the hesitant one. Slowly, she stood up again.

"To the memorial stone?" She asked, not looking at him. She stared out, past the wall gates of his house. The tree was dead, and what was once grass and flowers were all brown and indistinguishable, their origins completely obscured by the sheer rot. She knew that Kakashi, the nineteen year old ANBU he was, did not care about the conditions of his home. Before, over a decade ago, perhaps his father did. Maybe a thoughtful neighbour would come by and water the plants for the war hero and his young son. But a neighbour could not simply enter the Hatake household now to help out, because it was not a household with a family that happened to be preoccupied with protecting Konoha, but now it was a home of an ANBU.

That was a line they could not cross, and it did not matter if they had remembered Kakashi as a tiny child with quick, nimble fingers as he first held up a shuriken, nor could did it matter if they had a lingering memory of a tall man holding the hands of a smaller child, with identical silver hair and kind, dark eyes. It didn't matter because that was the past, and they lived in the present where the house that was located next to theirs was abandoned, where the body of a man that had killed himself once curled up at – at the very location that Akane and the dead man's only son were.

She sighed, and ran her head back through her hair that - was although tied up - had fallen over her shoulder. She turned back to Kakashi, whose every line of muscle was clear in his arm as he moved to slip his gloves back in and then reached down to pick up the porcelain mask. She frowned.

She was worried.

"Will you be okay?"

"Of course." Pause. "I'll be okay."

And he lied as if she could not hear the death beneath his voice.


	15. Chapter 15: Itachi Uchiha

Chapter Fifteen: Itachi Uchiha

There weren't many days Akane freely wandered the village, so today felt…odd for her. It was late July and many more people were around the village – even the training grounds, whether they were shinobi or just ambitious children.

A smile pulled across her face as she watched a young dark-haired boy's mouth twitch with just the slightest display of annoyance. His expression was guarded but frustration hinted in the set of his eyes. She was sitting on the grass, watching as the ten year old Uchiha attempt to master the A-Rank version of the time reversal technique that all ANBU were required to learn. And as soon as that was done, there was more jutsu and technique he had to fully master in a matter of days.

Oh, Itachi Uchiha. The boy with the weight of the world on his shoulder.

Not only was he going to lead the Uchiha clan one day, but this young prodigy was approaching his ANBU career, and the Hokage had appointed Akane to prepare him, naturally. He was had just been a chunin for a short while – weeks, really - but he was so undeniably talented that she was to prepare him for the ANBU role that awaited him. He would have been a chunin much earlier if it wasn't for the fact Mikoto Uchiha had insisted for him to have a somewhat reasonable pace.

It was what differed him from Kakashi Hatake.

Kakashi had no one to ground him, no mother to care that their child may be alienated because of their genius mind. Itachi, on the other hand, had. Kakashi may have looked up to his father and was inspired to be like him, and perhaps Sakumo Hatake was the greatest and the best person to raise him that way – but the way he was thrown into the shinobi world and how he was gifted with greatness secured his life as the man he was today.

"Relax, and try again." She told him. She remembered when the Hokage assigned him to her as a break from her missions. Right now the stake at her life had increased to 65 million ryo and they decided it was in the best intention to keep her in Konoha and keep her occupied by organizing missions alongside the Hokage as well as training Itachi. Although she was not afraid of missing-nin trying to slice her head off, the curiosity that was Itachi Uchiha kept her here. He was the young boy that was whispered among ANBU as Kakashi's heir and the one that will surpass him and that intrigued her. As soon as she met him, there was an age-old look in his eyes parallel to those of the Kage's...and at such a young age too.

"It's just like manipulating an opponent, but you're allowing them to retain their thoughts so that you could control their raw perceptions. That way, any details they may have missed during their consciousness would be revealed." She explained. He was skilled, but for whatever reason, he couldn't get this technique right. Granted, it was one that required a lot of practice and he didn't even have a full day but with Fugaku breathing down on her back and the Hokage's highest expectations from and her, they were pressured to perfect this as soon as possible.

"Maybe if I could try this on someone," he suggested. He looked at Akane with his Sharigan activated. They were fully matured and a bold crimson, almost hypnotic. She wondered if this was what it felt like being in front of the genjutsu for once.

"Trust me," she said as she got up, "you don't want to see the inside of my head." Not unless he wanted nightmares.

"Hm," he said thoughtfully as he approached her warily. "Why do you do that?" He asked. For some reason, when he spoke, Akane didn't ___feel _like she was having a conversation with a ten year old. True, when she was ten she had matured quite a lot as well and perhaps that was why she liked this Uchiha. He was nothing like Obito or Kenta, he was composed. Reasonable.

"Do what?"

"Talk about yourself as if you are a monster," he said rather bluntly. She stared at him…and then laughed. Akane Mikuzen was laughing genuinely because of a ___person _for the first time in a long, long time. She ran her fingers through her hair, flicking it back tiredly.

"I'm sorry if I tricked you into thinking I was a great ninja," she smiled wryly.

"You complete the missions others can't, or not willing to," he stated, standing up straighter. "And you demand no worship from it."

She was surprised by his answer. It wasn't entirely untrue, but he didn't understand her mentality, and she didn't want him to be misled. "I appreciate that."

The smallest of smiles appeared on his face.

"But I have to disagree." And so that smile slipped.

She was, after all, just a weapon. There was no honour or loyalty towards the village, she simply just ___did_. "There are some things you just have to do, Itachi," she said and even as she spoke – she wasn't really there. She was travelling back in her mind, to her past, to all the missions she didn't stop to think that it were ___humans _she was killing – humans with hopes, dreams, ideals and maybe even families, twisted as they may be but humans nonetheless – until Kakashi was there. She had never thought twice about anything, not until that mission with him three years ago and when he wasn't physically...there went her conscience out the window.

No, it was not loyalty to the village that made her carry out missions. It was simply the only thing she knew how to do.

"If you can complete a mission because you believe that it will help the village, then by all means do it – but I'm sorry. I don't think like that." She added, softly. Itachi's black eyes regarded her carefully, the way a keeper did to a lion. Like at a wild creature, unsure if it would listen to you or attack you. "Don't look at me like that," she said just as soft but there was a threat beneath that tone, and he could very well imagine the amount of people who had fallen for that deceiving voice, only to end up dying by her hands. "Don't look at me with pity."

"I wasn't."

"You were." She said abruptly, but there was no anger, no attachment to her tone. "I bet you love your family, your clan. I bet you love the village even more – and I bet that everything you do, and will do, will be for the sake of either of the three. You think that because I don't have such holds, I -"

"You're wrong."

His quiet voice surprised her. Not a flicker of anger, or annoyance – it was gentle. "I respect you, I don't pity you. I don't understand you either, that's all." He said and then he stood up. He was still shorter than her by own several inches but in a few years – he was only 10, after all – when he really hit adolescence, it would be ___he _that looked down on her, both figuratively and literally speaking. He would surpass her, she was sure of it, and maybe even Kakashi.

"I am an open book," she smiled dryly. "The only people who don't understand me are those who think that there's more to read." He narrowed his eyes at her quizzically, and that smile remained on her face. "After all," she said and her face relaxed, no signs of earlier scolding there as she shrugged slowly, "there's nothing else ___to _read."

After that, he did not bring it up again.

xxxxx

They were a sight to behold as Akane Mikuzen and Itachi Uchiha walked back to his clan's district. They both had a solemn expression, and they were the epitome of intimidation. She stopped, looking up at the walls that bore the signs of the Uchiha clan. "Tell me something," she said quietly, although she knew that she was being overheard, "what exactly lie behind these walls?"

"It's not a secret," he said but his eyes were down apathetically, "you may come in if you wish."

She gazed back at the neighbourhood, and knew that despite his cool tone, she knew he wanted someone else in there. She nodded as she stepped in – surprised to see as many smiles and friendly exclamations of his name as she did seeing scowls and glares shot her way. She brushed them off casually, paying attention to Itachi instead. His eyes softened and a smile that was somehow polite yet genuine was on his face as he talked to two older people. "...and this is my sensei, Akane Mikuzen." He introduced.

Akane shook their hands, and the woman's face brightened with recognition. "That name!" She gasped and looked over at her husband, who was laughing warmly the way all elderly did. "You are Minami's daughter, correct?"

Akane's eyes flickered away. "No."

The woman looked unconvinced but seeing the now quite young woman, she didn't comment further. But before she could switch the subject -

"Itachi! You're back!"

A little boy with ink black hair, large black eyes and a huge grin on his face came tackling into his older brother and for who knew how many times that day, she didn't know what to say. She watched with open curiosity as Itachi spoke several words to his younger brother, before ruffling up his hair affectionately and nodding towards another direction. Sasuke Uchiha pouted, his eyes wide and bordering on to puppy like with disappointment as he gave up and raced back home.

"Your brother's cute, Itachi." She commented with a hint of amusement. The smile on his face was no longer polite but full of sincere...love. And that was strange for her, seeing someone so guarded like him with such ___real _affections. It made her wonder about her own self, if she had ever looked like that before – if she was even capable of real affection.

"You've met my father," he said before pointing ahead of him, "so you must know he gets it from my mother."

That comment startled a laughter out of her as she walked alongside him and Itachi looked equally surprised at her good mood despite the fact that her mother was brought up earlier. "Speaking of which, is Fugaku usually home around this time? I'd like to have a word with him."

He frowned, not at all like the shift of conversation but knew it was necessary. "Not until later," he said hesitantly, "and am I allowed to ask the nature of this conversation?"

She stopped in front of what she assumed was his house – one of the largest she had seen so far – and saw Sasuke holding a woman's hand, talking about something wildly excited with a childish passion and the woman laughed before glancing up. She saw her first son and then her eyes slid towards Akane with the same warm gaze before she lifted a hand in a wave. Itachi smiled and nodded, but his attention was still on Akane.

"I'm asking his permission to allow you into the ANBU, that's all."

He stopped. "And why can't you just ask me that?"

"Because you have no opinion in the matter."

He looked sharply at her, the expression of shock and maybe even anger not at all concealed and she laughed again. "I'm kidding," she said breezily, "it is a trend among the Uchiha clan. Many of you join the Police force, and I don't want you to be the one to break to Fugaku that you've gone astray from the usual path."

Itachi blinked and then turned around slowly. "Thank you," he said in a low voice, unaware that already Akane decided to go to that length to help him. She looked at him carefully. "You ___do _want to join the ANBU, don't you?"

"Of course." He said but knowing all the rumours floating around the clan and all the hints Fugaku had been dropping for the past several years, he wondered if that really was the best choice. But if anything were to happen...his role as an ANBU could either make things much better, or much worse. He was about to ask Akane more on the topic but something about how distant her eyes seemed right now stopped him. "Akane?"

She didn't answer, only spoke as if she was almost in a dream. "Your family," she said and there was no trace of formality in his voice, no defence, no coldness, "you love them." She said this like a statement, already knowing his answer. It was impossible to miss the way he regarded the people of this clan – his mother, his brother.

"I do."

She thought about her past, about her obsession with Kakashi, and the growth of that. If he had suddenly walked away from her, she thought that she would be fine. In fact, she was sure of it. She would continue on with her life, even if others thought it to be wrong and dark and full of hatred – but it was the life she knew now.

Seeing Itachi with his family showed her love.

And made her realize...no, she did not love Kakashi, not like that.

But then she thought about her father, about the way his name would cause her heart to break. She thought about the way his rough hands held hers as she skipped along the village, so short that the top of her head reached the tips of his fingers naturally. She thought about the way he would threaten any boys and the way he laughed at her jokes, about the way he loved her and her mother, about the way he would carry her on his shoulders and proclaimed her to the village as his one and only daughter.

And she thought about how it felt, feeling his life slip with each step.

She closed her eyes.

_"Love will destroy you, Itachi." It will. It will break you, and it will be the death of you._

And she swore to herself that the day Itachi will suffer because of that love, that she will help him at all cost. Like Kakashi, with Itachi's mind and his power, he was forced into a life of regrets and death. He would drown in it in some way, somehow. And sensing the eyes on her back and the whispers of ___outsider _in the air, she knew exactly how it would unfold.


	16. Chapter 16: A Disturbed Placidity

Chapter Sixteen: A Disturbed Placidity

Akane rolled over from her bed, her eyes unable to open as her hand slammed down on the bedside table, in search of water but instead, the tips of her fingers found a slip of paper – and immediately, her eyes shot open and she pulled herself up, feeling her blankets slip down and her hair fall over her shoulders as she rubbed her eyes.

_Out on patrols._

_-Kakashi_

She frowned at his thin, yet neat writing – all the lines too close together, but fine nonetheless – before shoving aside the blanket and throwing her legs over the side of her bed. She paused for a moment, tired and thoroughly exhausted despite the last of missions, before she sighed and closed her eyes, fingering her hair restlessly. She weighed whether or not to stay in and sleep her life away, or if she should just wander about.

She turned her head, looking at the kitten that was curled up and fast asleep on the corner of her bed and concluded that she had no company here, and she felt...restless. As she had been since she was put off missions for the time being. With a groan this time, she stood up and stretched before paddling over and slipping off the robe and putting on her ANBU gear. She pulled on the dark pants, and over the sleeveless shirt. She hesitated with the grey chest guard, her fingers running over the sturdy material before leaving it behind. She kept on forgetting that she was an off-duty member now, and she would only look ridiculous to dress up otherwise. But old habits die hard so she strapped up the gloves and wrapped the bandaged around her thigh before stretching once again and slipping her feet down the boots, then closing the door behind her.

ANBU patrol, unlike chunin and the occasional jonin ones, extended not from only within Konoha to monitor the actions and any possible infiltration, but to the lengths of the borders in the forest. Due to Kakashi's capabilities, he was usually kept within the village just in case the Hokage were ever to need him – which was often. Akane was usually sent out to the far borders, circling around aimlessly with the two other ANBUs ahead of her, determined and alert.

They were good. Much better than her.

Kakashi was much better than her.

And just as quick, her mood sunk and she wanted to disappear – but it was too late. Unlike Kakashi who lived on the outskirts of Konoha, Akane lived in the centre, taking up an entire floor in the main apartment in the heart of Konoha by the Hokage's monument. The moment her feet reached the ground, she shrouded herself in a genjutsu, making her presence a trick of light. She knew that there was a ninjutsu for camouflage, one that she knew very well, but it exerted chakra in a way she was never comfortable. Genjutsu was so easy to her that it was as simple as breathing – distorting someone's chakra had become easier than shaping her own.

She jumped onto higher grounds, scaling the roof when she stopped immediately -

She could recognize him anywhere.

Kakashi, with his silvery grey hair, his face behind the white mask, and sitting on the rooftop, lounging over as he talked to another ANBU member, one with brown hair and familiar to her. His arm was propped up straight over his bent knee, while his head rested on his palm. Even hidden behind that mask, he seemed tired.

But she heard his laugh, his genuinely amused laugh but he was not facing Tenzo, rather overlooking Konoha and she knew that his mind was elsewhere. Maybe on his next mission, maybe on Konoha, maybe on a target, maybe on his past, maybe on his regrets – maybe on her.

But he seemed as happy as one could be given his situation, so probably not about her.

His head shifted, towards her and although his arm did not move, his fingers raised slightly to acknowledge her presence. Tenzo stopped as well, and she could feel his eyes on her. She dropped the genjutsu and walked slowly towards him. She took one look at the two young men – older than her, but young nonetheless – and at their easy carelessness and wondered if this was all a cover, or if they were actually that...relaxed.

"Evening, captain," Tenzo said with a slight salute. She frowned, but felt like her reaction was too exposed without the same mask that covered Kakashi and Tenzo's face. She wondered if he was mocking her – mocking her among the other shinobi and kunoichi had when Akane took up the spot as Head of Assassinations within the ANBU Black Ops. She heard the things they whisper about, that she lacked strength in all areas, that she was not committed enough, intelligent enough, mentally stable enough to lead and coordinate all the assassinations.

But they could not deny that she had not let anyone down – not ever. Not a single incomplete mission, and less casualties than ever before. Her sole ability made life much, much easier.

"Hi." She said, rather flatly. She could imagine Kakashi's curiosity that would light up his eyes even though she could not see it.

"Something wrong?" He asked, sitting up straighter.

"Restless, is all." She said honestly.

"Still off duty?" Tenzo asked and Kakashi turned his head to him.

"So the Hokage says," he said, amused, "but I'd like to think she's -"

"Don't say it," Akane cut him off and sat down in the middle of them, but not quite – she was sitting at where the two faces of the roofs met, right at the centre as opposed to their edge several feet away. "He wouldn't have given me the position if that was the plan."

"Unless he thought that it would satisfy you," Kakashi countered and she could practically see his smile through the mask. She narrowed her eyes at him. They knew that it could be true. Her promotion _happened _to be given to her only a month or two before he officially put her off of missions. Although that single week resulted into a casualty count of two, but over 35 missions completed – overseeing the success was only half the job of being captain. Unlike squad leader who was actively participating in each mission, the captain also had to help arrange each squad along with the Hokage. The position would, although give her the power to chopse exactly who is doing what, also allowed her to stay behind the lines as well as keep her under the Hokage's sharp eye.

It would make sense, and they both knew it.

She changed the topic quickly.

"Hey, Tenzo," she said, clearly ignoring the smiling Hatake, "when are you being promoted? That wood-release of yours is useful."

He flustered slightly under Akane – Viper's – praise. But she continued with a frown.

"And we all know your performance record is better than ours," she shot a look at Kakashi who shrugged. She still remembered the day she went on the recon mission with Jiraiya that later turned out to be a retrieve one – Tenzo was the very reason why she had been so harsh on that mission at Iwagakure years ago. It was a mission she didn't want to think about, ever again, and since Kakashi had never brought it up, she could only assume that Tenzo had explained _why _securing Hashirama's DNA was so vital, even if it meant fatalies.

After all, what better shinobi to have than Tenzo. He was the most consistent, the most stable. Akane was constantly called back for interrogation, and Kakashi often created enemies – which was the exact opposite of the Hokage's ideal – as well as being knocked out at days, sometimes weeks at a time. "Maybe he's keeping you down," Akane continued, her chin resting on her palm as her fingers tapped the side of her face. Her eyes scanned over the horizon, and it was the peek of evening now – the village was all up in a chatter and movement, laughter and screaming and clangs of pots and pans and footsteps heard from below. Everything was peaceful, everything was normal.

"Maybe you're onto something," he muttered, looking at Kakashi, who simply shrugged. "Regardless, I'm fine with where I am."

"Shame," she said, getting up, but just as quick, Kakashi made a sound as he rocked back, his arms bent and hands behind his head as he leaned back, his head on her lap. She made a startled noise, blinking before she sighed and stayed back down. Despite Tenzo being _right _there, he didn't seem to mind. Perhaps it was in his nature, or maybe it was because the two had been so close for so long. Nonetheless, Akane didn't feel uncomfortable at all as she lifted the mask of Kakashi's face, to see that his eyes were closed and the face beneath the dark mask was calm. Her mouth twitched with a smile.

She hunched forward a bit, enough that strands of her hair fell over her shoulders and brushed against Kakashi's closed eyes and they slowly open – only one, his dark one, before closing once again.

"Good, sleep." She mumbled.

"Weren't you before?" Tenzo asked, bewildered. That innocently oblivious tone startled a chuckle out of Kakashi, and Akane bit down on her lip to keep down her own smile. "What?" He asked with a frown.

"Nothing," Kakashi said breezily, "but sleep would be nice."And the three stayed there like that until the sun went down that lit a a golden glow behind Akane's orange hair, a white one behind Kakashi's and a bronze behind Tenzo's; until they all fell into a comfortable silence and pretended that everything was okay.

xxxxx

"Alright, let's get a look at that wrist."

Gingerly, Akane removed her gloves to reveal her pale wrist that was crossed with recent scars and underneath, the tattoo that snaked down her inner arm. Yuri sighed at the scars. "Akane..."

"I fell," Akane blatantly lied. She looked away. She didn't want to see pity. She was sixteen years old, only, but was sick of all the teary eyed and sighs she received from the uppers. She had never allowed her personal issues to affect her performance, and preferred that _they _wouldn't pry. The medic-nin gave her a stern look but upon seeing Akane's stubborn insistence on the matter, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Where's Kaori?" Akane asked, referring to the usual medic-nin that worked in the psychological ward. She had been seeing her steadily every several months since she first began this life.

"Busy."

"Busy?" Akane repeated, narrowing her eyes. Yuri gave her a sharp look.

"Just because you are a Captain now, you can't expect to be treated differently around here," Yuri warned, tapping her forehead slightly but it was in the oddest, almost affectionate way. Akane was silenced. "Sometimes, I think you forget you're only sixteen," Yuri continued and Akane looked away. It was true – she often forgot her own age, but it was expected when she worked in ANBU where age bore no significance. After moving around the office, at last, the mahogany haired woman came to sit down back in front of the copper haired girl. She studied her closely.

At the age of nine, Akane had exhibited symptoms of a variety of mental disorders – she was highly unstable, Kaori and Yuri had always suspected as much. So this jump in ranks came as shock to the two medic-nins that had to poke and pry at the girl's mind. But the odd thing about this patient was that it never came in the way of her duty. Akane had never once had a lapse in control when she was on mission and Yuri remembered Kaori telling her that once upon a time ago, a younger, more less-aware Akane had admitted that she found solace in being mindless.

Even if that meant being a mindless killer.

And now, looking at the girl that had grew before her eyes, Yuri had to seriously consider if Akane had recovered, or if she simply got better at hiding the darkness in her mind.

xxxxx

"Akane."

She ignored the husky tone, rolling to her other side instead. She felt her hair fall over her face, covering her bare shoulders and sour expression from being awoken.

"Akane, there's someone waiting for you." He said again and this time, her eyes fluttered open, bold blue irises sleepily locating the voice. By the foot bed in his ANBU uniform and bare arms crossed was Kakashi Hatake, his mask over the lower half of his face as his mismatched eyes regarded her with a still expression. His hair was flat and damp, tousled over his forehead and almost in his eyes. She had the urge to pull him close, to brush the hair out of his eyes but decided on staying in Kakashi's small one-person bed instead.

"Tell them to - wait." She pulled the still warm blanket closer to her chin. She frowned. "Who are ___they_ and why do they know I'm here?"

His eyes were steady and unwavering and she couldn't understand why he was acting like this. As if she was a stranger. Just yesterday when she returned home from the check up, they had spent hours talking about the most _random _things in hopes that they could sound normal. They talked about food, about caring for ninken versus caring for Miko, about books, about people they have met – and at one point, they could barely keep their hands off each other and she was sure that at that point, the only word she had spoken was his name, the only thing she felt against her skin was him and his blanket.

But, they did not go farther than touch. Not yet.

But she knew that he had left earlier this morning when she felt the brush of his fingers over her face as a good-bye and now only couple minutes later, he was acting...strange. "Is there something wrong?"

He didn't change his posture, nor did his eyes reveal even a clue of his thoughts or feelings. Her own eyes sharpen with suspicion. "Can you just -"

"Akane," his tone was low, and there was a warning gaze in the way his eyes stared at her beneath his eyelashes. She met his stare with her own, her eyebrows pulled together. "Perhaps you should...get dressed."

"No, I much prefer staying exactly like this. Your blanket is soft. Now will you tell me who is at the -"

A cough startled her, snapping her eyes up at the door and in walked the Hokage. He took one look at the girl, her copper hair a mess and so clearly indecent beneath the blanket. He closed his eyes, flushing of embarrassment as he coughed again.

"Oh," she said after a long moment, "Lord Hokage."

Her eyes flickered to Kakashi and they exchanged a glance with a not at all concerned expression. Then, the copy-nin sighed. "_Now_ will you get dressed?"

xxxxx

Hiruzen Sarutobi had always found it peculiar but amusing that two of his highest-paying shinobi lived in the most minimal of homes. He remembered once that he had visited Sakumo and Kakashi as a child in their large, sprawled out compound home on the outskirt of Konoha. Now he lived in the same house and yet with just the bare essential but equally isolated. The eighteen year old ANBU was standing behind his chair now, the two men in front of a now dressed Akane, who did not look pleased at all by this interruption. He stared at this girl who had grown before her eyes, and now...

"So what is so important, if you don't mind me asking?" She asked, her mouth twitching slightly. Her eyes moved up to Kakashi who still had not lost his too serious expression. She much preferred his kind gaze and light humour to this man at the moment. Only one person out of the two should be this guarded. Her eyes shifted away from him, to out the window. It was raining outside, which explained Kakashi's wet hair and the Hokage's still dripping hat. Maybe the weather was an omen. Now that the Hokage was past his uncomfortable state, he looked all too somber, his eyes too dark and his frown too deep. "You are aware of your current condition."

"Oh, no," she said with heavy sarcasm, "I haven't been aware that I've been held captive inside the village for these past weeks."

"Things are getting dangerous."

"Things are ___always_ dangerous."

"Akane -"

"In fact, it was more peaceful now than it has ever been." She reminded him. Kakashi gave her an expression that told her to mind her manners. It was one thing to joke around and take the Hokage's word lightly and even making him wait several hours...but cutting him off given her position and rank was unheard of. "Akane." He said hastily, and his voice cracked the slightest. "Listen."

She watched him. The Hokage closed his eyes; he didn't know where to begin. "Pakura of Hidden Sand village had just been killed."

Her eyes widened slightly, leaning back. Pakura?

Akane had met the woman once before on a mission by accident. She had been there on a recon mission a year or so ago. The two Hidden Village were never in agreement with each other since the Second Shinobi War. The scorch release kunoichi been a worthy adversary, one of the strongest Akane had ever went up against. She could burn up a body instantly and even without the kekkei genkai, her close range fighting abilities was beyond admirable. Akane praised her openly on her skill, but it didn't change the fact that the girl had left her suspended in her shadow-swallowing genjutsu before fleeing.

"Who did it?" Akane asked quietly.

"The squad that went to find the information reported that the village claimed it was Iwagakure, but we have reasons to suspect it was actually Kirigakure that killed her."

"And what does this have to do with me?"

The Hokage sighed. "If Kirigakure is taking advances to eliminating targets, your name will come up, Akane."

"You act as if I'm the only one who has killed a Hidden Mist ninja," she said quickly, her eyes flickering towards Kakashi momentarily to prove her point. "I am in no more danger than -"

"Yes, you are right - but ___you_ killed Jinpachi Munashi and Kushimaru Kuriarare. They do not take losing two of the Seven Swordsmen lightly."

Kakashi's guarded expression cracked at that revelation. She had never told him that before, nor had he heard about it. It was one thing that had not come up in their nightly, mindless talks. He knew that somehow, the two of the cruelest ninja of the Hidden Mist - one killing his brother, the other his sensei - had died in a battle together...but he had never expected Akane to be the cause of this. He looked at her closely. She did not look like a girl capable of killing two of the Swordsmen of the Mist, and yet...

"You know what?" She asked, tired of beating around the bush, "I'll take Itachi Uchiha with me and go to Kirigakure and kill any of those that are a -"

"Do you ___want_ to start a war?" The Hokage interrupted, appalled at her idea. He truly wondered what went inside her head for her to even suggest killing everyone first as a solution to the possibility of a threat. It was as if she didn't know the meaning of carefulness, of precaution. "I have not been able to get in contact with their Mizukage," he began again, "however, you ___will_ be assigned a mission."

"At last -"

"Akane." It was Kakashi this time, and his tone was still strange, strained almost as if he was holding something back. "Stop interrupting the Hokage, this is important." Akane looked at him quickly. Where had this outburst come from? Kakashi was never like this...well, he had been as a child but -

"I don't think you understand the severity of this, Akane." The Hokage said, willing for her to understand. But she didn't see why the situation was different this time. People had always wanted her dead. As soon as she turned fifteen, her list of enemies had grown to the point where her name could not even be leaked, fear that it would trace back to her mother who was not even a kunoichi. Kakashi was alone - he only had him to take care of. It was why it didn't matter that everyone knew his name, but Akane Mikuzen did not exist in the shinobi world. It was only Viper. "There will be missing-nin attacking this village to find you."

"I'll take care of -"

The Hokage gave Kakashi the briefest look, but the silver haired shinobi was staring stonily at the ground, his fist tight. His voice was quiet, careful. "You're already too late."

She stared.

The Hokage knew that Kakashi should not be the one telling her this. It was not his duty. "Akane," his stern, wise eyes turned soft and full of pity. She felt uncomfortable, as if something was uncoiling in the pit of her stomach. She felt like he was about to tell her something very, very bad. But she didn't know what. How could anything get worse than it was now?

"Your mother is dead."

Oh.

xxxxx

"Akane."

It was amazing how many emotions this man had. From expressionless and maintained, Kakashi's voice turned into one full of empathy and caring all in one word. He put a hand on her arm, turning her around to look at him but Akane would not meet his eyes.

She wasn't angry at him. Not at all. There was no one to be angry _at_.

Truth be told, she did not keep tabs on her mother. She had cut off every connection and the last time she had even laid eyes on the woman was when it was her birthday, on the grave where Minami had said out loud that Akane was dead. And she had went there with company.

Company because the Hokage warned her that things would be unsafe.

With Akane kept inside the village, Minami had been monitored. But it didn't work. Clearly not. After all, if it had, Minami Mikuzen would not have been dragged into the mist that devoured the forest that alienated all sound. She would not have shrieked as a kunai sliced her throat.

But she had, and now Akane was an orphan.

And back came that horrible numbness, that part of her mind that was _yelling _at her to feel something – to feel regret, sadness, anguish, pain, anger. Anything. But she couldn't. She just stared ahead, repeating in her mind that _my parents are dead, my parents are dead. _

Kakashi weighed whether or not to push her this time. When he looked down to see that her eyes were stubbornly staring at the path in front of her, he decided to approach that limit. He placed a hand on her shoulder – she was walking in front of him – and when she didn't shake him off or showed any signs of anger, he slipped one arm around her, walking by her side and slowing her down until he could turn her to face him. His eyes lowered to hers.

"I'm sorry."

"You have no reason to be," she said softly. But he knew it was a deception. Whether she sounded soft or sharp, it held almost no indication to her personality. She could be angry and quiet, or miserable and snappy. He tipped her chin up. "What do you want me to do, Kakashi?" She asked tiredly. "Scream, shout...cry? I can't." It was physically impossible.

"She's your mother, Akane."

That only made it worse.

_She was my mother, and I cannot cry. _

"Was."

He didn't know what to say to that. He was not the person to go to when saddened about death of parents. He wanted her to say something, tell her how he could help her...but what if she didn't ___need _help. She was already getting her revenge with this mission. The Hokage was sure that when he decided to send her to Kirigakure, there would be casualties even if it was a simply surveillance and information-retrieval mission. But he also knew that she wouldn't get caught, especially not with Itachi Uchiha on her squad of two as an ANBU test.

He decided to change the topic. It was still raining, although much less than before. It had been deafening in the morning, the mist of it bouncing back off every object the rain fell on. Now, it was just a constant, steady light rainfall. Rain blurred his vision, and he saw it cloud on his eyelashes. And yet her face remained still, completely blank as if she was impervious to the distraction of dripping rain. "Where are you going?"

"To get Itachi."

"Do you think he's ready for this?"

"Of course." He was a ninja. He could handle himself.

Unlike her mother, of course.

She was dead.


	17. Chapter 17: Hero and Demons

Chapter Seventeen: Hero and Demons

For an entire month now - by the Hokage's doing, most likely – the two had been assigned not a single mission. With the bounty over their head, and for Kakashi's well being, they had been MIA from any missions taken place outside Konoha. Akane was preoccupied with mentoring Itachi Uchiha and Kakashi was just doing everything all at once inside the village, and now he was leaving at last to his mission to the Land of Snow the next morning, a day behind schedule. And Akane, as well, began to be more active. She left the same time with Itachi to the Hidden Mist village, wrecking havoc even with the young shinobi by her side.

Hours later, surrounded by mist, they arrived.

Her eyes bore into Itachi's waiting for him to see her from his position and his Sharingan flickered up to hers immediately. She made quick hand signals, telling him to keep an eye on the Mizukage and he nodded slightly. And then she disappeared back into the mist, cloaking herself in a genjutsu that rendered herself invisible. The mist that blanketed the village only made it easier for her to blend in - but in order to find the information she needed, she needed to be a Hidden Mist ninja. For a solid half hour, she scouted the area, locating a ninja.

She found what looked like a chunin level ninja with the gray flak jacket, wearing the ___hitai-ate_ of four slants on his upper arm. He wasn't quite on patrol as much as he was wandering himself, suspicious. She decided to take her chance and whistled. Immediately, a sword went whizzing by her, drawing her blood as it skimmed through her cheek. Her eyes went wide for a moment, panic filling her until she suppressed that familiar fear that heightened her senses, her sight and awareness and made quick hand signs as she performed her genjutsu and in a second, he froze. She kept his figure in the back of her mind as she retrieved the sword and then jumped in front of the ninja.

He was tall and muscular, his skin tanned and scars lined his face. How typical of a Kiri-nin, she thought bitterly. But she wasn't going to kill him. Standing directly in front of him without even a flutter of fear of being seen, she analyzed him thoroughly like a seamstress to a model. She slowly circled around him once, and then began a transformation jutsu. In a puff of smoke, she appeared to be an exact copy. And then she held the sword that he had thrown at her back at him, holding it at his neck. "What do you know about the recent attack on Konoha?" She asked quietly. Using a genjutsu that made him susceptible to her suggestion, the man stared at her and said, "nothing, I don't know anything."

Her mouth twitched. "You are lying."

"We do not coordinate with others," was his monotone reply.

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes," he growled through his teeth. He was trembling. She was too busy thinking of her next move to even realize that his fingers were itching and then faster than she could respond, he withdrew his kunai and stabbed it into his thigh, crying out in pain and breaking the genjutsu. Proof of his background, he was just as quick to use that kunai and like scissoring blades, lashed out at her. She felt a cut on her cheek, another blocked off by her arms. She leaped back immediately, her jaw tense. ___Great, just great. We have a fighter here._

"You brought this on yourself," she whispered tiredly. The man's eyes widened slightly and then he grunted as he lowered himself, ready for a fight. But he seemed to forgot - or he did not know - that this was Viper. Hand to hand combat with no weapons, she could pull off. Her body was the only weapon she knew, and now he was only digging his grave. "I only needed information."

And before he could hit her again with that damn blade, she shoved the shadows into his mind that would cripple and make ruins out of it.

And then he was shouting.

Even as she retreated back, the man did not stop. She heard the echoes of his shrieks as she fled the scene, and he had not silenced until another Kiri-nin appeared, his face twisted in a disgusted expression as the chunin lay on the floor in the middle of his own filth and drool, the whites of his eyes prominent as he stared up at the sky. Broken.

And meanwhile, Kakashi had saved the life of the daimyo's daughter - the heir to the Land of Snow.

xxxxx

"So you go send the report to the -"

"Isn't it usually the squad captain that writes it up?" Itachi asked with a frown as he pulled down his black hood and removed his mask. Akane took off the mask and placed it between her lips as she tugged the sleeves of her white cloak off and folded it over an arm, then taking the mask and hatching it onto a belt loop. She shrugged.

"Only when the squad captain isn't being retained for questioning." She said casually. There was not suppose to be any casualties, the presence of Konoha-nin were not suppose to be known in the village but Akane had left her mark by trimming down the numbers of chunin and jonin alike on her search to find out who killed her mother.

Even though she could not feel sadness, she wanted to get even.

"Anyway, you go ahead. Captain's order. I'll find you tomorrow to resume training." She turned to leave, not waiting for a confirmation until over the horizon, she saw an extremely familiar silver haired man entering the village casually. As if he could hear her thoughts, his head tilted up and his eyes found hers. And there was that warm smile again as he waved at her. She wondered how he did it - how he even looked so happy. Smiling felt strange for her. She smiled before she did something horrible, or when she was covering up a lie. But lately, she found herself smiling just at the mere thought of him.

_That _was am ebarrasing thought.

She appeared in front of him, and threw her cloak over the man as if he was a stand. "Welcome back."

"How did your mission go?" He asked, giving her the side eye as he walked next to her and tucked away the white cloak at the crook of her elbow.

"Great." One worded replies. He knew that this was the first signal.

"Any particular reason why we're heading to the Intelligence Division?" He asked carefully.

"Oh you know," she said without looking at him, "to remind me of my place. Of what I'm allowed and not allowed to do."

"Is there anything Akane Mikuzen, ANBU captain, not allowed to do?" He asked rhetorically, earning himself a small smile from Akane. She moved closer to him, not quite touching him but she felt the heat radiating off him. "Beside -"

They both froze and although Kakashi remained composed, Akane's eyes noticeably widened as she stared into blue eyes, a tan face and blonde hair in disarray.

___Minato_.

No, it couldn't be. And yet...he was so similar.

And he was running right into her. Just as quick, Kakashi placed on his ANBU mask but Akane simply caught the boy. She looked past him to see an old man, waving a broom stick in the air. "Get back here, you monster!" He shouted but upon seeing the gloved arms that was around the boy, he stumbled and slow down. "Now you have no business here, missy, this is just civilian -"

Akane ignored him and crouched down to look at the boy. He had to be no older than six years old – around the same time the fourth Hokage had died. Her jaw tightened and a hasty finger tipped the side of his face and although he looked slightly frightened and definitely shocked, he didn't protest too loudly.

Those eyes, that hair – his face was so similar to Minato. And the fact that he and Kushina died on the same day...could they have possibly been successful with giving birth?

She had been taken off guard for that security measure as she as recovering from the kinjutsu sealed on her wrist. And ever since, details of that day had been locked to her and she was not one to pry. But...Kakashi would have known, it was his sensei after all but they had never spoken about the topic before. She knew of Naruto Uzumaki, if course, the jinchuriki. But she had never seen him and now, she couldn't stop comparing his face to the man that ___had _to be his late father's in his mind. Her eyes flickered up and she remembered about the old man, who was reaching out to grab the back of the boy's shirt and -

"If you lay a hand on him, I'll arrest you." She said coldly and he stiffened.

"Yeah?" He mocked, trying to stand up tall. He was old – ancient, even. Probably in his late seventies. His hair was either gray or nonexistent and his eyes were in a constant squint and yet he maintained a constant angry expression. "Well I'll tell you that -"

Akane stood up, interrupting him as she placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Where do you live? I'll take you home," she said quietly although not kindly. It was more professional than anything. But she felt empathy for this boy that was an outcast – an outcast like her. With the Nine Tails sealed in him...that loneliness and anger would cause problems later and she could only hope that this wasn't his first experience of kindness.

"Um, I -"

"He got kicked out of the orphanage – ___my orphanage_!"

Akane shot him a look. And then she sighed. She began regretting getting affiliated but what was she going to do when a huge revelation crashed into her – quite literally – with nowhere to go? "What's your name?" She knew his name well, but she had to pull a cover. It would only lead to more questions if she was assumed his guardian role. She tried to sound soft and kind, and it must have worked because the boy's whiskered face blushed.

"Naruto." He said, but he did not say this shyly. He said this proudly, just quietly as if it was a secret he was willing to share with her. And something in those bright blue eyes made the corners of her lip turn the slightest.

"Naruto, hm?" She gave Kakashi a glance, who was staring up at the sky with his hands in his pocket. "I read a book about a boy named Naruto." She continued as she turned back to the little boy.

"Oh yeah?" He gave her a little snicker. "Is he a hero?"

"You can -"

"___Excuse me_." The old man snapped. "But -"

"Do you want to go back to the orphanage, Naruto?"

He made a face. "No! All the kids are stupid there and this old geezer keeps on blaming me for -"

"You ungrateful brat -"

"- Sir." She stopped the argument and took the boy's hand in hers. It felt odd playing this role but there was a very obvious solution to all of this. One that did not involve her further affiliation. "I'll take this boy off your hands."

He stuttered, and his eyes became even flatter as he examined her, his chin up and a frown on his face. "What's the catch?"

"No catch." She said. "Now go."

"But -"

"___Go_."

And so he left – it was hard to say no when standing before him was two ANBU members. Akane sighed yet again. "Hey, you," she shot at Kakashi and at last, his attention was on her yet again. "Tell the ID that I'm going to be late." He did not say a word, simply nodding before disappearing. She turned back to the little boy next to her was staring at her warily. "What ___is _the catch?"

"You have to keep this a secret, okay, Naruto?"

He frowned, his round face sad but not quite suspicious. "Okay."

"I'll pay for your apartment. Do you have anyone that can take care of you?"

His mouth twitched and his eyes wandered as he thought about this. "Well...there's this nice man at the Ramen shop...and the Hokage bothers me a lot."

So the Hokage was looking after this boy. She couldn't help but wonder why people so close to Minato – his student, his mentor – would not step up to take care of his son? Was it a protection thing, were they trying to keep the boy's identity a secret from others? Was it the fact that he was a jinchuriki, or because he was the Fourth's son? Tiredly, she brushed her hair back and took a deep breath. "I want you to go to the Hokage -"

"But -"

"No, listen." She stopped and scanned the area. The Hokage's chakra was hard to miss, emitting such complexities only created when one mastered so much jutsus. "Go find the Hokage, and he will help you find an apartment. Tell him that the Captain will pay for it. Go back to the orphanage to gather your things, but do not tell anyone what I am doing for you. Understood?"

"Captain?" And of ___course _that was all he got out of it.

"Do you understand, Naruto?" She repeated, heavy on the emphasis. She couldn't stand staying out here much longer, right in the middle of Konoha in broad daylight, unhidden and fully exposed. He stared at her again with open curiosity.

"But I don't understand why you're doing this..." He said quietly, sullenly.

She knew she had to lie. "I _really _liked that book." And I _really _liked your father, she didn't say out loud. Jiraiya's tale was interesting, but the fact that Minato had a son was more important. "But remember, ___do not tell ____anyone_."

"But -"

"No more buts. Go." With a gentle shove on his back, she pushed him towards the Hokage and straightened up. He stopped, his feet shuffling on the dirt and his fists tightened. She saw a tiny boy, with a white shirt too big for him and hair too messy. Skinny arms, skinny legs. Guilt hit her – and it was hitting her hard. Maybe it was the loss of her own mother that brought out an instinct she did not know existed. But she owed it to Minato, the man that had helped her become strong, to at least stop the abuse of his son. When he turned around, those eyes of his had a puppy-like expression and she seriously wondered why the village thought of him as a demon when he was suffering ___because _of the demon trapped inside him.

He was lonely. She was lonely.

"Can I at least know your name?"

But she couldn't give it to him. This time, her eyes softened as an automatic reaction and not a manipulative action. She placed a gentle hand on his face and knew that although she had only met this boy once and briefly, she felt pity for him the way she would when meeting an old friend on the streets, homeless. "I'm sorry." She said. "This uniform I'm wearing prevents me from giving that information."

His eyebrows pulled together. "But you're from Konoha. You're a kunoichi."

"I'm a...special one." Her hand moved down to his shoulder and she prompted him to get going again. "I'll tell you what," she said as Naruto finally began moving again, "if you ever become a jonin, I'll tell you my name."

The way his face brightened up could only be described as complete and utter innocence. Human. Raw happiness in a way so foreign to her that it had broken something in her – not her heart. No, more like a wall she had. Suddenly, she was aware of the pain he was feeling and the fact that there were people breathing and living their lives in Konoha and the fact that her mother was no longer one of them, and Kakashi's parents weren't, and Naruto's parents weren't and all that anguish of death had suddenly been reignited by that one smile.

But none of that showed, nothing but a twitch of her lips as a response.

"What if I become the Hokage?"

Her lips parted but she could no longer even pretend to be happy. How could this boy's happiness unlock sadness in her?

"I'll look forward to it, Naruto." But by then, she would probably have been killed.

xxxxx

Away from the boy who she was now sure was Minato's son, she felt restless as she arrived in front of a rather plain building, with nothing but a wooden sign proclaiming it to be the Konoha Intelligence Division. There at the front was a chunin who had swallowed slightly as he broke his contact away from Kakashi who had been patiently waiting for her, leaning on the wall.

"Well that took awhile."

"No thanks to you." She muttered.

"I would have nothing to add."

"Of ___course _not." Because the one deemed corrupted and heartless could care for a child, but not the one who was hailed a hero and also happened to be the child's father's student.

The chunin took in the sight in front of him, easily the two of the most recognizable figures in Konoha. Kakashi Hatake, son of the White Fang and a growing legend among shinobi – not just a star, but a legend and then Akane Mikuzen, with those hypnotic blue eyes and mysterious demeanour...was bickering at each other. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced and he was just slightly more than star struck.

Blinking, he finally remembered about the time. "A-Akane?" He cursed himself for stuttering on her name. Straightening up and trying to pull off that cool gaze the two ANBU held in front of him, he tried again. "Akane Mikuzen, I'm to escort you into the Interrogation room."

Needless to say, his mimicry did not work.

She raised a delicate eyebrow. "Interrogation?" She repeated. She looked at Kakashi and although the slight crease of his forehead indicated his worry, he did not seem to find it out of place. She frowned and took a step inside first. "Fine."

It was not until she was inside the darkness of the building that she turned around. Light spilled from the still open door as the chunin looked at a laughing Kakashi, his eyes bright as he passionately said something. Cue more of Kakashi's awkward chuckle, his hand in his hair as he nodded. He was never the one to take praise. Gratitude was one thing, but he shrugged off compliments quite often yet the hero worship in the chunin's eyes was legitimate.

Sometimes she forgot that Kakashi wasn't like her. Forgot that as a child – six, seven years old - he was already the top genin, top chunin. She forgot that she was one of his fans once upon a time ago as well. He was a star, a celebrity, a hero. People looked up to him. They idolized him. They wanted to ___be_ him.

And Itachi was right about what he said a couple days ago. She shouldn't have disregarded him. He was so very right: people threw her the missions that no one else was willing to do, and she did it. Like a dog begging for scraps. And then she would get ridiculed for it.

"Are you coming?" She snapped. The chunin shot up and nodded, saying one last quick thing to Kakashi before leading her inside. She closed her eyes, crossing her arms and when she opened them again, she was standing in front of Inoichi Yamanaka. He had a frown on his face, but aside from that there was no other expression. She couldn't tell if he was just angry, disappointed...or trying to be serious. She decided to be the first to break the silence, a common protocol she had been doing ever since she began getting in trouble on missions. Being the first to talk made her seem confident, made her seem like she was not here because she was forced to. "You got the warrant?"

"You know we do."

She thought about it. "How's your girl, Inoichi?" She asked pleasantly. "At the Academy yet?"

A flicker of warmth passed his face. "I know you don't care, Akane." He said dryly although not unkindly. "Now before we begin, is there anything that you would like to tell me?"

"I killed three chunin and one jonin-level Hidden Mist shinobi." She stated with stoic expression and flat tone. She was ANBU after all. She wasn't supposed to show any emotions. The face behind the mask had to be equally as level as to the mask itself.

"State your mission."

She didn't wince. "Information retrieval."

"There isn't usually a casualty count that high," he said. Really, he was just killing time. She knew that in a couple seconds, she would be chained down like a dog and be humiliated as this man read through all her thoughts, look through all her memories. But she didn't want him to...not in the past couple weeks. The things he would see and experience...they were personal. They were for her eyes only.

She might actually put up a fight this time.

She looked at the blonde man's eyes. He was not professional enough. They never were. He would tell someone, let it slip. After all - they always do. That was why there were even gossip even among jonin and ANBU. Someone always had one thing they decide to tell one person, perhaps someone they think is higher than them. Like Shikaku Nara. She knew that all of Kakashi's subordinates told him things they really shouldn't...and she didn't want to be in the centre of gossip. ___Akane killed the Guardian Ninja. The Swordsmen. She's up against Orochimaru. She doesn't care that her mother died_. And of course, now: ___She's ____in a relationship with____Kakashi. _The rumours - often true - ran rampant. "You know the drill, Akane."

Her mouth twitched. "Is this really necessary?"

"Standard protocol," he seemed tired. Perhaps he had better things to do than to run through a sixteen year old girl's mind, but not through an ANBU's. "We just have to make sure that you didn't do anything...out of the line."

"Is my word not good enough?" She tested. He sighed.

"Akane, please don't make this difficult." His blue-green eyes that had regarded her once with sympathy had sharpened. He had known her father, Dosu, very well. He had become a jonin around the same time Inoichi became a chunin. He remembered a tiny girl that was barely the height of her father's hip, with her tiny hands clutching her father's pants when Dosu would talk to Inoichi. He remembered her bright orange hair, shy but excited blue eyes. The girl in front of him now held all the same colouring, growing up into a lovely girl - but her eyes was too hazy, yet too hard. He would have never expected Dosu's daughter to grow up into a character like Viper. "Is there anything you're hiding?" He asked, narrowing his eyes now, "anything you may confess to?"

"None that I haven't already." She replied flatly. "I would just rather not have anyone rummage into my mind. Again."

"Perhaps if you followed the mission -"

"They killed my mother." And yet, Inoichi noticed that there was no sadness in her voice. "That's all there is to it. I'm not planning any -"

"I need to see into your mind to prove that. Akane," he stopped, inhaling deeply, "I'm on ___your side_."

For a moment, she contemplated putting an illusion on Inoichi to make him think that she was actually going on with it. But knowing his skill, it would be much too complicated. She would have to be precise with it and if she were to get caught, it would only make her seem more suspicious. A flicker of guilt crossed her face, breaking through that mask she had been working on for so long.

She, too, remembered a younger Inoichi talking and laughing with her father, him and a man with flaming red hair and another with a scar across his face. She used to be shy, hiding behind her father. They were intimidating - they had so much stories of missions, and their duties in war. They had these deep laughs and they finished each others' sentences and exchange glances once the story revealed covert affairs or gruesome details. She wasn't used to that blatant, tough shinobi life - especially considering their chunin rank. Her father had hide her well from it, and her mother ignored it.

"Just not this time, Inoichi." She said, her blue eyes boring into his to understand. She had enough of people talking about her. For once, she wanted to be cut off - really cut off. If they weren't going to involve her in their social activities, she didn't want her name to come up either.

"Akane," he crossed his arms, a grim frown on his face, "what are you hiding?"

"___Nothing_." She said too quickly. She looked away, her fist tightened. Distractedly, she wondered how many cuts and scrapes would be on her palm if not for the gloves that protected that skin from her nail. "I don't want anyone in my head. That's all. I'm sure that you have other methods -"

"You didn't mind in the past," his eyes slit, "tell me -"

"We're going in circles." She abruptly cut him off and headed towards a door - although all she was darkness. But they were a fool if they thought she was follow for stupid genjutsu like this. She was ___the_ genjutsu ninja. "I don't want to do this anymore." She easily released the jutsu and the door appeared but as soon as she put a hand on it -

And then she was shrieking.


	18. Chapter 18: Broken Dolls (I)

Chapter Eighteen: Broken Dolls (I)

Akane was hospitalized.

Never before had Kakashi Hatake was so grateful for his ANBU status: it allowed him direct access to her. He was equally thankful for the mask for hiding the growing distress he felt. He was sure that all the medic-nin at the hospital would be more than surprised to see the usually composed shinobi with such expression. Not that it was a surprise to see him actually ___there_, of course. One moment he was responding to an odd report at a side of the village, and then he saw that boy from earlier carrying a rather odd shape into the back doors of the hospital.

Considering the amount of times Kakashi had seen Akane, he recognized her limp body being carried the moment his eyes set on it. And he knew that if she was going to the hospital as opposed to private care, it meant that the ANBU were no longer allowed to retain her. Which was ___more _than bad.

He forced himself to stay quiet until the nurse left the room that he had parked himself in front of, and when she did, it only took the tilt of his head for her to flush and spill the news. After all, this was the silver-haired ninja that had always been seen alongside Akane Mikuzen for the past several weeks.

The medic-nin was a mahogany-haired young woman, who was perhaps Akane's age, no older and she did not look hopeful. She took a deep breath and then looked up at him with a strange gaze, eyeing him. "You are Kakashi Hatake, yes?" His hair was a dead giveaway. He nodded and she continued. "There was a sudden drop in chakra levels, similar to your condition after extended Sharingan usage. She should be fine with bed rest."_ That was it?_

"What is the cause?" He asked flatly.

Her mouth twitched. "That information is disclosed to -"

"ANBU?" There was authority in his voice and he didn't even have to stand up straighter. He was still leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed, muscles tight and ANBU tattoo prominent against his bare, pale skin. "In case you haven't notice..." He let his words drift.

She fidgeted, and then sighed. "Genjutsu."

He stiffened but the only indication she knew that he was surprised at this response was the slightest tightening of his fingers. Genjutsu? But who - an Uchiha? He couldn't think of any other that could surpass her in jutsus like that. "Is she okay?"

At this, the woman fidgeted. "It depends on how you define _okay_."

"Stable. Alive."

"Then yes, she will be fine. Uncomfortable, unconscious, but fine."

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, his eyes closed. She was okay. And for now, that would do.

xxxxx

The moment she opened her eyes – painfully, the skin was sealed shut with crust as if they had not been opened for days – and light flashed her vision before it was overrun with shadows. She saw the same slick, black _oil _of her past.

_No._

Her heart raced, her breathing stopped, but that whisper in her mind continued.

_Jump out the window. Now._

She didn't think.

_Kill yourself. _

_Go._

And so she got up, and charged towards the -

"Akane!"

And just like that, everything disappeared. And she reminded herself that it was _not real_. The only thing that was real was his voice, repeating her name. And she couldn't see him, but she felt his arms pull her close, pull her back to the bed, placing her in it, holding her hands and keeping her down, whispering that it's all right.

Kakashi.

"Kakashi," she said breathless and closed her eyes for seconds. When she opened them again, colours blurred her vision until finally it focused once again and she was staring into the worried, mismatched eyes of the man that had been a constant over the past several weeks.

Weeks ago, she would have never thought that it would be him to take care of her. She wouldn't have thought anybody would, in fact. But here he was, a hand on her cheek, asking if she was okay as he leaned in close to her.

"You're okay, Akane," he said quietly, a smile hinting beneath the mask as his thumb rubbed a circle onto her face comfortingly, "I'm right here."

And then his hand moved over her mouth, her nose, smothering her until she could not breathe.

xxxxx

Her eyelids fluttered open, waking up gasping.

_It was a dream. It was a dream._

The room was dark, and she told herself to _calm down _and to concentrate on the moment, to remember what was real and what was not. She closed her eyes again, and then opened, as they readjusted to the darkness, finding the light in the shine of the moon through the curtains.

And then she noticed sitting on the chair next to her and leaning over with his head and arms resting on the bed was Kakashi. The man that saw and knew each and every dirty secret and truth about her, that understood the darkest recesses of her mind, that could hold her hand without being disgusted at the lives it had taken, that could kiss her lips without caring that she had smiled at the most _wrong _things.

A smile itched onto her face, demanding to take over her face but all she was thinking about was ___him._

She thought about the way he walked too slow and how it irritated her to no end. And about the fact he was a horrible artist. Diagrams, maps, plans he excelled as usual but tell him to draw a cat, and it looked more like a snowman. Or the way he shuddered if she were to run her fingers - or better yet, her mouth - along his jaw, the warm touch so unlike the mask. And that he almost never slept. Either he was up all night, or he woke up too early in the morning. Nobody could see the fatigue he had grown so accustomed to it that when he pretended to sleep to fool others, he actually would fool himself into believing it was enough to just close his eyes.

But the most defining thing she had come to know about him in the past few days was that this man - this polite, kind, skilled, helpful, genuine, teasing, sympathetic man - was lonely. He smiled at the right times, laughed at the right times, engaged in conversations when necessary. He did all the things that she couldn't. No one could have known the man behind the mask and all that he endured. Still okay after the death of his mother. Still continuing after the death of his father. Still opening himself up to others after Obito. Still smiling after Rin. Still offering his help after Minato.

She loved all those little details.

"Kakashi," she whispered, slowly getting up. Her mind was clearing up, her eyes able to tell the distinction from the nightmare and reality. His eyes squeezed shut before he slowly opened them and she could see the faint outline of a small smile pull on his lips beneath the mask.

"Good morning." His voice was rough, tired.

"Hi."

That smile, although hidden, became more prominent. "How are you?"

She took a deep breath. "I can handle it - this, at least." She rubbed her face until she was sure that if it were not for cartilage and bone, her face would be rumpled up like a pile of clothing. "What happened?" She asked slowly. "Am I okay?" He frowned.

"It's an answer I would like to know myself," he said with a withering glance outside the door. "But they aren't telling me anything."

"They?"

"ANBU."

She didn't say anything. Of course the division she was assigned to would alienate her anyway. She remembered dispelling a genjutsu – and then just pain. It was as if she was stuck in her -

And the nightmare -

"That _son of_ -"

"Akane?"

"It's a defensive jutsu, to reflect back my own style." She growled through her teeth, her fist tight, almost shaking. The revelation finally hit her, and her mind raced to make sense of it. Kakashi relaxed.

"Akane, you know how rare that jutsu is used. I don't even know it myself. Only -" And then he stopped when he understood her anger at last. The nurse had been lying. It was not genjutsu, and it was not an Uchiha. Only two people had mastered that jutsu and was aware of Akane's genjutsu style enough to be able to although not quite perform it as create a replica of it to unleash back to her.

The Sannin, Jiraiya, or the Hokage.

The betrayal of either would set her anger. Jiraiya, a jonin that had accompanied her on several S-Rank missions in the past but would never cross her path, not even without cause. He did not think like that. He never thought of her as a danger. Which led to one person: the Hokage. And this made sense - awful, terrible sense because she was well aware of what the Hokage thought about her. Impulsive. Angry. Perhaps even a bit psychotic.

She snapped.

And then she was just angry. Angry at the village, angry of the fact that although it was Sarutobi who assigned her on these missions – it was also him causing her damage. And why? _Why_ should she be hated among the very people she worked with – the one she would die protecting? Why defend these people when they were all absorbed in their own matters and as soon as they were even uncomfortable with her, they would send her off to get her brain scourged for information as if ___she _was the one betraying a fellow ninja?

And she hated that she was alone in this.

Because Kakashi was the exact opposite.

And with that thought, another dawned onto her.

He was the hero, the one with the tragic back story that inspired others. The one that broke hearts as well as formed new ones to yearn for him. She knew that personally. That wasn't even the worse; the worse was those who didn't know his hardships and loved him anyway simply because he was an ANBU and because he was Kakashi of the Sharingan, the war hero at fourteen years of age.

And she was Viper.

And that wouldn't have mattered if it wasn't for the fact that now, the overwhelming sense of ___me against the world _was crashing on to her.

Why was it that Konoha, the village of peace and comradeship, was turning against her – the Hokage included? And not just her, but Naruto, for God's sake. They were against a _boy _that had _no control _over _anything._

"Talk to me," he insisted and reached out to touch her hand but she flinched immediately, her eyes still glazed over as she was deep in thought. Nothing but the strains on her knuckles was proof of her anger, but he saw the signals too clearly.

Sometimes, he let her mood swing slide. It wasn't like he wanted to push her to talk all the time and she gave him the same courtesy. It was one of the reasons why the idea of being with Akane was so...right. They didn't ___have _to talk, but when they did – there was no stone left unturned. But for whatever reason, this time when she said ___nothing_, he wanted to know. "Akane." His tone was guarded. "___What_?"

"I'm ___fine_." And she did not say this because she was a woman. Nor did she say it because she was struggling to keep it in or thought that he wasn't listening. She said this because sometimes, it was better for her to lie and pretend that she was fine than dig deep and spill out all her anger on him. He didn't deserve it. "But I'd appreciate some time to rest," she added quietly.

It was easy for him to figure out when she wanted some time alone, but it was just as difficult for him to decide whether or not that he should push his luck or not. "Of course." He stood up. His eyes lingered on her, at how easily she fell back as if he wasn't even there, as if that anger had never occurred and as if she could just push everything to the back of her mind. And then he realized something.

He liked her.

From that day in the trees overlooking the festival, he had liked her.

But did Akane like ___him_? Or did she just want company?

Because God knew that he liked Akane. He liked having her in his life. He liked having a duty to ___her _and not just ANBU ones. He liked that there was someone there, waiting for him in his desolate home. More than anything, Kakashi loved the fact that although Akane did not need him, she wanted him there anyway.

"Akane?" His voice was far away. His eyes on the ceiling. Here he was in a room with Akane Mikuzen. The girl of his past. The girl that was still here. She shifted her head to look at him, although her body was still faced away from him. Her eyes warily slid to his, waiting. Eyes so blue that even in the dark, it was pale in contrast to the entire space around them. And then,

"I think I love you."

She stared.

"Thank you."

He opened his mouth, and then closed it.

___What_? "Thank you?" He repeated, shocked. Did she just say ___thank you_? He was expecting many things. A gasp. Hesitance. Suspicion. Maybe even an outright 'I don't feel the same way'. But ___thank you_? "Did you -"

"I'm really tired, Kakashi." She sounded it. The anger wiped away every part of her, numbing her once again. "Just...later, okay?"

"Fine." His voice didn't sound like himself. "Because it's not like you allow yourself to feel anything." Because even when the Hokage was supposedly the one behind the reason why she was in the hospital, she would not admit her anger to him in person. She would kill those that had no blame in the matter. She would do the same like before: with her mother, with her father. His tone was unaffected, from a purely unbiased point of view. It was the tone of a squad leader, a shinobi, the Kakashi that was like an armour to him.

And it hurt because it was true, and they both knew it.

She froze, and then threw her blanket off the bed and swung her legs over the bed.

"Are we really doing this?" She asked, her eyes wide. "Being like teenagers? Being petty?"

He didn't state that she was still a teenager. Sixteen. An age that did not at all match the coldness in her eyes or the walls she held around her. And he was wrong. He _was_ like her. He held people at an arm's length but somehow, she had weaselled in and he wanted -

Weaselled?

And with that, he felt a sense of...loneliness.

This wasn't love.

It was desperation.

And Kakashi had made his first mistake in a long, long time. He had allowed himself to fall for this girl, allowed himself to seek her companionship simply because they were alike. He did not love her, but he saw himself ___in _her and reached out to that, holding that on. These past couple weeks...it was him giving up on being smart, and allowing him to be casual like the other eighteen year old men. It didn't hurt that Akane was beautiful. It was human instinct, to love what was broken and beautiful. To be the one to fix it – to fix her. Because he was quite broken himself and maybe a part of him believed that if he could see Akane become okay, so would he.

And he was wrong.

"No." His voice was no longer warm, no trace of the Kakashi she had known in them. "No, we're not."

"I'm sorry." She wasn't. Not really. She did not regret her words, but she wasn't happy with the way he interpreted it.

"You're not." And so he decided to call her out on the truth.

"You're right." She didn't see a point in denying it. There was no use lying to Kakashi. She wouldn't even dream of it. It was just that at this moment, there was nothing else to say to him.

"Tell me," he was giving her a chance because he ___knew _Akane in the way no one else did, and he did not believe that the girl that had warmed his bed and himself for the past couple weeks was as cold as she seemed, "what are you thinking? Right now."

"I don't know." She honestly didn't. She wasn't angry. Or sad. Or upset. She wasn't even confused anymore. She ___had _been angry and sad and upset and confused but just as quick as she found out about her mother's death, she had shoved this betrayal aside as well. He was right – she felt nothing. Now, she was just tired. She wanted the day to be over with for an unexplainable yet understandable reason. "I don't know what to think, nor do I know how I'm feeling – before you ask."

"You're acting strange." ___Please _let her say something, ___please _let her explain because Kakashi didn't like being this scattered. He thought that at last, he finally understood her. That he could even love her one day if he had not already. And in her few words, she was unravelling everything and he wanted things to just ___make sense_.

She tried not to roll her eyes. "Welcome to my life, Kakashi."

"Don't act like that." He said, his eyes and tone hard. "As if this is you and that you're fine."

At that, her eyebrows shot up. "This ___is_ me," she said with all seriousness, surprised that he would even suggest differently. She was not one of lengthy words of wisdom. Just quick, spurts of anger that fuelled her scolds. She was not Kakashi. "I'm sorry, Kakashi, that I didn't give you the response you wanted but I'm just tired -"

" - like always."

"Not everyone holds a charmed life."

It was his turn to be surprised. "Charmed?" He echoed. "You can't honestly believe that. You know that's not true."

Her eyes turned cold. No, she knew that his life was not perfect. But there were silver linings in it that did not involve her. Any goodness in her life was because of Kakashi, any sense of normalcy she received was from the man standing in front of her, his dark eye staring at her as if he could not believe what he was seeing. "I'm tired. And strange - and you should know that by now." He opened his mouth but she didn't stop. "I ___know_ that your life is not charmed, but I bet that you saved lives. That you helped others. That when you were a jonin, you ran into people that made you smile. You _told _me all of that." And she loved that about him – that trait. She was jealous of it but she didn't want that bitterness and anger that had been popping up all day or yesterday – she could not remember, the blackout made it difficult - to take control. "You made people ___happy_."

He thought about a little girl on the verge of a break down, years ago in a land full of grass and soft winds, where there was a girl with her brown eyes wide and her dark green hair hanging straight down her face. And the way she smiled when he helped her back.

And he knew that despite everything – all the deaths that surrounded him – Akane was right.

"I haven't." Her voice held a tremble. A smile twisted on her lips, and her blue eyes were bright in the way he knew was unstable. Triggering. "I have never gone back to Konoha and thought ___gee, I've done a great deed_. So excuse me if I seem ___strange_." And it was awful because he knew that this was true - so true, that although he had always thought he found a parallel in Akane, there was a ___huge _difference between them. A huge distinction, a gap in their mentality that he had somehow overlooked. He wanted to say something but she was in her episode where she would not pause. She was letting everything out and although he wanted her to talk before, now he just wanted her to shut up so that he could explain himself. "You have friends. You have shinobi willing to carry your bid. You're a hero."

"Akane -"

"So yes, I ___am _fine and yes, this may surprise you but I ___don't_ know everything. You're right – I don't let myself feel things. I _don't_ know what I'm feeling right now, I _don't_ know what I'm thinking about, and I _don't_ know what I want."

No, she didn't.

And neither did he.

Then it was as if she snapped out of a dream. Those blazing blue eyes dulled and she deflated completely. "Do you know what my father told me before?" Her voice was barely there. She never spoke about her father. Ever. This should have been a sign, he should have ___known _what to expect her to say next, but he wouldn't believe it. Kakashi waited. She held his gaze calmly as if nothing had just happened and he could only stare at those cerulean eyes, the colour of pale skies.

"To love when you're ready, not when you're lonely."

Any doubt he had crashed and burned to the ground.

And he left, and Akane knew that this was the final time she was going to see him. And yet despite the way something was breaking in her chest, she let him leave her anyway.


	19. Chapter 19: Broken Dolls (II)

Chapter Nineteen: Broken Dolls (II)

She felt hollow again, her feet dragging as she left the hospital two nights later.

She knew that he wouldn't come back, wouldn't greet her at the door with his hand offered to her and his eye in a curve of a smile. She knew he wouldn't, but she still hoped - only to feel the bitter abandonment that shut down all her feelings, all her thoughts. And now here was Akane, slowly walking back to her apartment. She refused to think about her belongings at his apartment or about the coldness and emptiness in her own home.

It was dark out when she almost reached her own apartment. Lamps lit up the road, although shadows consumed anything past two metres ahead of her. This should be comforting, she thought, being so hidden. But tonight, it only made her feel more alienated. She wasn't quite thinking, she didn't allow herself to ___feel_ hurt by Kakashi. Not by his decision to actually leave, not to think further about what it meant about the way he thought about her.

But she had not expected him to love her. That had to have been a lie, a delusion of some sort. And yet, she expected him to leave her eventually. ___You're used to this. There's no need to_ -

Step

Pause.

She stopped, vile curling up in her stomach as she felt her feet land on something soft and...damp. No, wet. She hoped that it wasn't crap. Then the light played around her foot and she froze.

And then she puked.

And then she was sobbing and shaking as she wiped her mouth on the back of her palm, her face wet and hands trembling on her knees as she doubled over and choked back on her cries. "Oh ___God_."

It was Miko. His tiny, gray, body, fur soaked in blood and his stomach torn open.

xxxxx

Kakashi Hatake turned nineteen on September 15th, a month after he turned his back on Akane.

For all those weeks, he had occupied himself with missions, undertaking two S-Rank in that short time period. He avoided being home. He avoided wandering. He avoided being in the village, but Tenzo needed to recover after their assassination mission and seek refuge, to stop the hunt after him. Kakashi was about to go off again, waiting for the Hokage to assign him the next mission when Itachi Uchiha showed up in the Hokage's office.

The young boy regarded him through a cool gaze. "Good evening," he said, ever polite with the manners the Uchiha instilled in their children. Kakashi nodded, returning the same greeting. "Congratulations," he added as his eyes flickered to the mask that the young boy had hung on his hip. An odd expression crossed the Uchiha's face and he turned his head away slightly at the sound of the door opening.

"Back already, hm?" The Sandaime said with an almost fatherly like smile. It was a futile one. There was no point acting as if Kakashi's new workload was suddenly ___just because _and both the young men there knew it. They knew that the day Akane left to the mission to Kirigakure to gather further information - after opening up a new lead accidentally on the prior mission - but returned killing another of the Seven Swordsmen and her body bruised and broken while Itachi remained in pristine health – that night, he was told by his superior to keep an eye on the Mizukage, thus paid no attention to Akane and her troubles – it was clear that this young girl was experiencing...something.

"Is there anything else you need, Lord Hokage?" Kakashi asked. Lately, he was surprised by his voice every time he spoke. It was like he was waiting for him to begin sounding like himself yet again, but the voice he heard was not at all familiar. It was a stranger's. A shinobi's.

"Not for you, no. Itachi, on the other hand..." He moved aside and the dark haired boy walked in with a polite nod to his elder. Kakashi could have been stubborn and stayed there, waiting until the Council found an appropriate difficult task for him to accomplish. But instead, he bowed respectfully but just before he left -

"Oh, and Kakashi?" Itachi turned to look at him, his eyes ___too _mature for his age. "Akane's dead."

He stared. But he did not say anything.

She's ___dead_?

Something in him-

Cracked.

But then that same emotion he could not pinpoint flickered across the boy's face.

"I'm kidding." Itachi's voice was flat. "And it's sad," he turned back around, "that you would not have known if I was lying." And then he walked into the office, leaving Kakashi – the famous shinobi, no longer a rising star but a star itself – gawking.

Moments later, the gray-haired ninja behind the ANBU mask appeared before the slab of stone. He was still clad in black and the sword on his back was still not wiped clean of blood. He did not sit. He did not make himself comfortable. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, staring at that name. ___Obito Uchiha_. "To think you're related to a kid like that," Kakashi said softly.

If Obito was there, he would probably point his thumbs towards himself and cry out something along the line of '___What do you mean by that? You saying I'm not as good as him? Huh?!_' despite the fact that it had nothing to do with what Kakashi was trying to say. But then it would be okay because Obito would challenge him to something and maybe insult him, only to very obviously be the losing party.

And then Rin would laugh in that shy way of hers, her eyes crinkled with a smile and her palms held up – or maybe on on either of them – and tell them to grow up. She would look at Kakashi warmly and say that Itachi was a very special case, and then turn to Obito and tell him that he was being melodramatic, but the smile on her face always softened up the other boy, make the boy go mellow beneath those bright, chocolate brown eyes.

Or man.

Because if he was alive, he would be a man. Not a boy.

But they weren't. They were dead. They had died as children, died young before they could experience the things he had. Died as unsung heroes. And Kakashi was left behind. And maybe, just maybe...he was hoping for a mission that would take him away from it all. A mission that would reunite him with the only ones he had ever loved, and maybe would ever.

xxxxx

Akane took one look at her apartment. Too big for one person. She looked at the food dish. She looked at the blankets – still rumpled up since when ___he _last slept there. She had not laid on her bed. She barely slept. But just looking at it, knowing that it was closer to Kakashi than she ever was...

A part of her wanted to nestle up in it.

But instead, she found herself watching as it burned under her hovering hands.

xxxxx

When he returned home last night, he threw everything out. Everything but the picture of Team Minato. And then he sold that apartment, and took up residence in one of the single-room dormitory. He sat down on his bed and got up just as quick.

It was hideously plain. A desk, a window, a bed. Washroom and kitchen at the end of the hallway and downstairs respectively. There was no personality, nothing but that sole picture frame. Weapons didn't count.

But this was what he wanted: no reminders. No messy blankets and sheets spilling off the bed, no traces of crumbs and strange smells of cat food or a woman's clothing strewn about in the apartment. There was no more personality. From now on, this would be his life.

xxxxx

"You've change."

"Don't talk to me like that. Mind your place."

"You loved him, didn't you?"

The silence was insufferable, and the young, dark haired boy turned and attempted to read those blue eyes. But as always, it was impossible. There was too much burden and darkness in those light eyes that he could not see through.

"No." She looked away. "I didn't."

And it scared her that it was the truth.

xxxxx

Kakashi caught a glimpse of her again on December of that year. She was escorting three criminals all by herself. They stared straight ahead, their face slackened with terror but they moved anyway. Like robots.

Genjtusu.

He saw a whirl of orange, and then she was gone.

END OF PART ONE


	20. Chapter 20: The Uchiha Massacre

PART TWO

Chapter Twenty: The Uchiha Massacre

A sob was caught in his chest as his teeth clenched and his eyes squeezed shut. The scream and wails of the child behind the panel was muffled, the struggling sounds of containing the wrecking cry of seeing your parents murdered before your eyes. But it didn't matter; he could not escape his death. Slowly, he opened his eyes and the red of the Sharingan was distinct in his face as he slid open the closet door.

There, was the Uchiha.

But he did not say anything, pushing back his mind as his arm reached out, leaning down to circle his gloved fingers around the boy's ankles and dragged him closer, feeling the tug of the child's bone and muscles jump from the uneven ground.

He cried. And screamed, and begged for mercy.

But Itachi Uchiha did not hesitate as he reached behind him, touching the hilt of his sword as he tried not to think about the pile of the bodies growing behind him, all bleeding and broken, and how this child's corpse would only be added to it. He closed his eyes again, blocking out the noise as he fell into the habit once again of driving the blade through another body of flesh.

But it stopped.

He did not believe that there would be resistance, and yet the crying had ceased. He opened his eyes again but this time, it was not a crying boy in front of him. It was a woman. A woman in the ANBU uniform parallel to his own, and eyes a dull blue like skies before a storm and although she did not wear the usual porcelain mask, her face held no signs of pity or remorse or horror or sadness.

They were steady, calm. And he knew it was because she had seen this before.

"It was the Hokage, wasn't it?"

Her voice was so quiet and soft that he could almost delude himself into thinking she was feeling bad for him, or maybe even apologetic that it was she who introduced him to this life. But he knew her well and knew that this was not the case. He did not speak, fear of the grief he had felt for the past hours as he slaughtered the lives of people - who cared for him, praised him, cherished him, smiled at him, who was proud of him, and ultimately, who killed them - to slip out. The sting of tears was clear in his eyes, his throat dry and stomach hollow.

"I will follow you," she said, "I will help you."

"I won't ask you for that." He would not look at her. His fist tightened, his jaw clenched.

"Then I will go with Jiraiya." She said dryly and despite the situation, the smallest of smiles played on her mouth. They both knew what this meant. Jiraiya was after Orochimaru, who was of the Akatsuki organization and even before the first suspicions of the Uchiha clan had arisen, they were already being assigned to watch over the group of mercenary-nin. He looked up carefully at her, piercing red beneath his lashes.

"But why?"

"I promised you," she said and her voice fell back to that quiet sound, "I will not let your love destroy you." Not the way it had broken her, the way it had cut her off from the world.

"It's too late." His voice was hoarse and he looked away. "There's too much blood on my hands already."

She turned back to the child, who was shaking and sobbing and his hands were clamped tightly on his mouth. He was too afraid to move, too afraid to do anything but mourn. She looked back at Itachi, and could not tell who was more torn - this boy who had lost the family he had loved, or this boy who had killed them _because_ of love.

And she decided it was Itachi.

Before he knew what she was doing, Akane Mikuzen placed a hand on the young child's cheek and he stilled slightly, his lips trembling. He felt hope rise in him, his chest swelling as his dark eyes widened.

And with her other hand, she stabbed him. Through his back, his spine - then deeper, up into his heart. And Itachi Uchiha stared, his lips parted, his eyes dead as he saw the light vanish from the boy's own eyes.

He remembered when the boy had ran up to him, said he was his hero.

Said Itachi Uchiha was the noblest.

But the child was dead and yet there was a haunt of two words on his tip of his tongue.

_Thank you._

xxxxx

There was no fire, no ashes, no crumbling buildings or smoke. But the horrible scent of corpses and the thick air that reeked of death was so clear and present that the two ANBU assigned over the district could only hold their breath as their eyes ran over what was left of the Uchiha neighbourhood. Their whispered voices carried a conversation that disturbed the silence of the dead, but neither of them could have withstood the horrible atmosphere if they did not have the steady voice to hold on to.

"And Viper?" The man's voice was dry, lifeless as his eyes scanned over the ghost town that was once the thriving Uchiha neighbourhood.

"Gone."

"I see." He was tired. More than that, he was exhausted. Returning from a mission and then being sent to the outskirts of Konoha – a place of rest, of peace and unity – only to see blood splattered on every surface, torn down windows and limp arms and legs littered across the area was not what he had planned.

It was a massacre. _The_ Uchiha massacre.

"Do you think...?" The fellow ANBU let his question drift, unsure of how to approach the topic. They had all known about the degree of Viper and all the stories of her was true. Of cruelty, of heartlessness and some even used the word _psychopath. _And yet, the ANBU also knew that the man standing beside him right now, the silver-haired man with mismatched eyes, had once loved her.

Not that Kakashi Hatake, himself, was sure if he had.

"I don't know." Because he didn't. He did not know if Akane was capable of murdering an entire clan, and the clan of her sole pupil at that. Perhaps it was Itachi who went on a rampage, and she who accompanied him. But he already knew the general consensus was that they were both power-hungry and eager to prove their strength and what better way was than to eliminate the only people who could ever match up to their fearsome genjutsu.

Kakashi looked down, past the roof in which he and the other man stood upon. He saw an image that made his stomach curl.

A baby should not look like that.

Flattened, arms and legs straight out. A hole in its chest. It was not right.

"Let's see who we could save." Kakashi said quietly, and the man next to him nodded. He was already moving, scavenging the neighbourhood for even a single life, no matter of how weak or close to death they were – but he did not miss the words the other had spoken so very quietly.

_Right_.

_Because Viper would leave someone alive_.

xxxxx

The room was pitch black with the exception of the few candlelight that lit up an ominous glow in the backdrop behind the Hokage. It was in the dead of night, exactly three hours after the bodies – still warm – were discovered throughout the Uchiha district. Three dozen ANBUs knelt before the Hokage, who would not look at anyone – anything – in the eye. For a long moment, they waited until he spoke. And at last, his voice filled the underground room.

"Kakashi Hatake."

"Yes, Lord Hokage?" He still did not move, his breathing forcibly steady and his stomach curled up. The tilt of his head was the only movement and despite his quiet voice, it echoed in a way that made everything – every particle, every atom clear and alive in the world. Every sense heightened, and a chill in the air.

"I assign you now as Head Captain of Assassination Squad."

"Understood."

Pause.

"Your first mission," the somber voice continued gravely, "is to locate the traitors, former Head Captain and Squad Leader Akane Mikuzen and Itachi Uchiha."

He closed his eyes.

"Understood."

"And kill on sight, if necessary."

He imagined bold blue, half opened eyes watching him with a dazed interest. Blood dripping down a dryly smiling mouth; long, trembling fingers wrapped around his wrist as sparks flew from her chest. And he could imagine her, even in death, whispering words that she had been too afraid to speak.

_I have never loved you, Kakashi Hatake._

* * *

Used to be the epilogue...but now it is the beginning of Part Two. I'll be continuing it from this point, from this story.

Thanks for reading! :)


	21. Chapter 21: The Traitor

**A/N: JUNE 5TH, 2013 -WHY ARE PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT KAKASHI WILL DIE. THAT IS NOT OKAY. If he dies, then the ending I have planned for this story drastically changes and I must plead you all to bear with me as another hiatus. Sorry for the lack of updates. Exam weeks. Back up to regular once a week after the week of June 17th. Thanks for sticking to this story! But if he dies...no. No, no no.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty One: The Traitor

He did not believe it actually happened.

That for a month, Akane was with him. That for a month, there had been a girl who would sit opposite to him, her legs lounging over his, her blue eyes half open as she looked out the window and gestured with her hands as she talked about stories that had never been told before – at least, not accurately. He did not believe that at night, there was someone in his arms, someone to come home to, someone that he smiled upon seeing because it was so _normal _and so steady.

That for a month, he thought he was falling deeper, and deeper in love.

But it had happened, even if he could not remember not – could not remember now as he and his squad of four others raced out of Konoha, with three of his ninken running ahead and following onto the cool trail of someone who fled the village exactly three hours and twelve minutes ago, alone but with the scent of blood of others still on her.

His team was composed of himself, Tenzo, Kage, Komachi and Towa – all handpicked to be able to hold their own against Akane. "Faster – the trail is disappearing," Pakkun barked out with a dull interest, as if he had already given up.

"We're still within Konoha, how could that be? They didn't leave too long ago," Kage protested. He was still a relatively new to the Black Ops, but his genjutsu style was similar to that of Akane's – but with the distinction of using shadows to hide, but not to attack. He was a lower version of all that Akane is known for, shadows and swordsmanship - but unlike her, his loyalty was never once questioned and his character as a person was great.

"Itachi Uchiha left without a trail at all, so we should be appreciative that she was kind enough to do so," Towa muttered. This was a man that had trained under Akane's father at one point, a reminiscent of Dosu's speciality of using his chakra to extend onto an object with a greater degree. His eyes suddenly sharpened as the fact began to dawn onto him. "But -"

And he knew that he was caught.

"Kakashi," Komachi hissed knowingly, catching her partner's train of thought, "you knew, didn't you?"

The two ANBU partners had both been integrated into the specialist squad the same time and Kakashi knew that they were close friends, so he was not surprised that they not only were able to finish each others' sentences but think the same way as well. Kakashi did not respond, did not betray his thoughts so Towa continued. "You _knew _that she was leading a trail – for a purpose. No wonder why Itachi was undiscovered...because she was trying to distract us and you fell for it -"

"-knowingly as well." Komachi stopped, and all of them circled around him.

And they were true.

The moment that Pakkun found Akane's trail, Kakashi knew that it was not by accident. She purposely decided to leave it behind so that they would follow her, and be led in a pursuit after her and not Itachi Uchiha. Although he did _not _know what happened to the Uchihas – he knew that there was no way Akane would decide to attack the clan. She had no motive, and so it had to be Itachi. And he thought back to how Akane was fiercely protective of Itachi towards Orochimaru, and it only made more sense.

"Is that true?" Kage asked coolly. They all wore their respective ANBU masks but he knew that there was anger hidden behind it, anger towards the Squad Leader and the captain of the assassination division of the ANBU that allowed Itachi, the thought to be accomplice, and the culprit, Akane Mikuzen, to escape simply because there was once a romantic relationship between he and the former captain. And he found himself only with Tenzo by his side as the other three glared at him.

"We wouldn't be able to find them anyway." Kakashi said in a stiff tone, "the trail ends."

"You're lying," Towa said, brushing by him, "you were a candidate of head captain of retrieval, and you're telling us that -"

"There is _no point_." He repeated himself, sharper this time. "Are you questioning me?" He was not one to impose order through intimidation but his patience was short. After all, he could not be in a _great _mood after he realized that the very same girl that taught him how to fold his fingers into the shape of animals was the same girl that slaughtered the entire Uchiha clan and fled the village. There was no warning, no signs of such destruction – but even so, that did not change the reality of the situation. And he knew that, and so he tried hard - so very hard, at what usually came natural to him - to smother the feeling of betrayal.

"Of course not," Kage said, quietly this time. Towa and Komachi shared a glance and took a step back –but it was not one in defeat.

"We will go back to the Hokage then," Komachi said in a cold tone and he could hear the threat behind her words, "we will inform him of what has happened," she paused, "if you allow us to."

In other words, she was _telling _on him.

"Go."

The two left, but Kakashi was not phased by their desertion. Their allegiance was held to the Hokage, not to him – they did not trust him the way Tenzo did, or the way Kage blindly did. Pakkun and his two other ninkens sat by his ankles, waiting for his command and he felt just the subtle bite, informing him of a secret message that Urushi was sending him. _There is a way_.

"You two go back as well, and check back at the Uchiha district. I will see if there is anything left behind here." Kakashi said and he was aware that his voice was not at all convincing and that it was obvious that he was trying to just get rid of them. Tenzo nodded, understanding Kakashi's need to be alone whereas Kage was simply one to follow instruction. As soon as he was left alone, he hunched down to Pakkun, Urushi and Bull. "Where is she?"

"We don't know."

Kakashi's jaw tightened. "So what was the -"

"But," Urushi continued as Pakkun crawled on top of the large, black dog's head, "Bull said that there's an unmoving shinobi near the border."

"Unmoving, but not bleeding," Pakkun added and Kakashi nodded. That most likely meant one thing – genjutsu. The three disappeared in a blur to the borders ten miles away and all Kakashi could think about what he would do if he found her. Ideally, he would bring her back for questioning. In reality, she would probably escape and he could not imagine her ever wanting to go back to the ANBU – he suspect that she wouldn't be allowed to, regardless – and would instead, live the life of a missing-nin. But if he had it his way, he would stop her and try to get in her head, to understand why she did the things she did and _then _let her escape.

Because more than anything, he did not want to fight her.

But after a month of simply getting to know her, he knew how to. Her only weapon was her genjutsu, and if he could render that useless – he would win. Yes, her taijutsu was impressive and her speed would perhaps surpass his, but in all truth, her ninjutsu was barely that of a jonin. She did not and could not match up to Kakashi if not for her genjutsu, and he knew exactly how to beat her. It would be painful, but it would work.

To stab himself.

Again, and again, and again.

Because pain would break him out of each layer of her illusion genjutsu and with his Sharingan, he would be able to decipher when everything was _real _again and he was willing to make himself bleed over and over if it meant to understand her actions.

"Kakashi," Urushi said, "where is your head?"

"I'm sorry?" He blinked, trying to wake himself up. He'd think that after seeing the nightmare of the Uchiha neighbourhood that it would shock him out of his exhaustion, but the more he moved, the heavier his eyelids felt and the duller his thoughts came.

"I said, what are we going to do when we face her?"

Bull made a sound. "I know," Pakkun agreed soberly, "I don't either."

"Don't worry," Kakashi said, shaking his head and blinking away his fatigue, "you won't. I will."

"Solo?"

"I think so."

There was a pause and nothing between them but the sound of bodies moving through the forest, leaves rustling not from touch but from the wind that whipped by them. He felt each pull of the muscles on his face as his jaw tightened and frown deepen at the idea of standing opposite to Akane on a battle ground. He did not look forward to it – but who knew? Maybe the shinobi that were only seconds away was...sleeping. Maybe Akane had nothing to do with it. Maybe she was already gone. Maybe there was nothing left he could do but return to the village and resume his role as an ANBU and hope he would not be the damned man assigned to retrieve her.

But most likely, not. Because as soon as they arrived on scene and saw the man convulsing from the ground, he knew that the genjutsu illusion was so great that it pressured the man's brain to collapse onto itself into this – a seizure. Froth at his mouth, his eyeballs rolling and Kakashi smelled the sour odour of urine and stool in the air. He wanted to vomit. Urushi whimpered, stepping back and Pakkun was tugging at Bull's ear to give the two men distance. Kakashi's face was twisted as he knelt down and released the genjutsu. Unsurprisingly, it did not work and the man's body did not stop shaking. Kakashi pulled the sword on his back out and then unflinchingly stabbed it through the bicep, an area that was not fatal and at last the man stopped and the green of his eyes shot back, staring straight up to the sky and into the white mask of the ANBU over him.

He was panting and only said one word before Kakakshi and his ninken left him behind.

"_Viper_."

xxxxx

"We need to formulate a plan, Hiruzen," the old woman said sternly, her eyes still hard and flat after all these years. There was no hesitance, no gentleness in her tone nor was there manners as she addressed the Hokage. "She may know something."

"Koharu is right," the other man said. Homura looked at him with a grim expression, his eyes betraying not quite sadness but nervousness and an age-old burdened look nonetheless behind the glasses. The Hokage sighed, leaning forward in his chair.

"We need her back. Alive."

Koharu and Homura, the elders of the council, exchanged a glance - and that was all that was needed. He already knew what they were thinking. That it was not a part of the deal they made with Itachi Uchiha, and if the opportunity presented itself, they would prefer her dead and unable to speak of the matter.

xxxxx

"Kakashi, we _need _to formulate a plan."

"We're not going to engage in battle," Kakashi growled.

"Did you _not _see that guy? Viper's not in -"

"_Akane_," Kakashi corrected, turning his head to look at Urushi. "You know that isn't her name," Kakashi's tone softened. Urushi barked and rolled his eyes as if to say _I don't care_. "Look, guys, there's not going to be violence."

"So you're saying that if we _do _run into her, you're just going to let her go?"

Pause.

But it wasn't a pause, he just did not answer him. The three ninken exchanged a glance and knew that although they would not desert Kakashi, they weren't sure if they would stay to witness him allow a criminal to escape.

xxxxx

She was panting and took only several other staggering steps before she collapsed against a tree, her hand scraping down on the trunk. She licked her lips where it was bleeding from the split in the bottom and wiped her face clean – wincing when more blood dirtied her gloved hand. She struggled to stand up straight and took in a deep, cold dry breath.

She was pretty bad.

But not compared to the now dead woman only several metres away from her.

Akane spat out blood – feeling like a liver or kidney or maybe even a lung had fallen out with it before stabbing the kunoichi again for good measure as if the non-beating heart was not enough proof that the she was quite dead.

The Hokage had not been lying when he warned her that there were people, waiting for her to leave to attack. There was living – well, note quite – proof right in front of her, of a rogue ninja who confronted her upon seeing the ANBU and she definitely put up a fight, one Akane nearly lost. The whole five minutes – three hundred agonizing seconds – of having no chakra left for genjutsu had nearly killed her, and surprisingly enough, the only reason why she was still _alive _was because of the reason why she came into this dark world anyway:

Kenjutsu. Her father's art. Raw, and completely chakra-free swordsmanship.

Her other jutsu, however, her secret one that was still not yet perfected couldn't be used...but regardless, kenjutsu had saved her.

Akane coughed again, and then looked down at her fingers, then palm, then wrist, then arms – they were lined with dozens of tiny cuts, some just on the outer skin layer, while others were bleeding. That was okay, she thought, she could handle scrapes – no matter of the multitude. She looked again at the dead, and cooling body, her teeth grinding but she couldn't bring herself to glare at the kunoichi with the wind-affinity. It was a rarer skill than all the other nature transformations that she had encountered, but one kenjutsu was able to fight against.

Barely, just barely.

_I have to keep on moving. _

But despite her resolve, her body was simply not strong enough – drained of chakra and blood – and it was only until she took another step that she collapsed.

xxxxx

In front of him was a brown haired ANBU, sent back by his team captain. But he was too late to try to plea on Kakashi's behalf - the decision had been made. "Lord Hokage," his eyes were wide, "are you sure about this?"

He looked down. "Yes," he reached for his seal and looked at the document again: Akane's submission into the official Bingo book of the Great Shinobi Villages. "It is for the best."

He could only hope that the increase of Konohgakure's bounty would save this girl's life, but he doubted it.

xxxxx

"That – that can't be her."

They hunched down, turned her head around. Smiled.

"It's her."

* * *

**BINGO BOOK: ENTRY #702**

**UPDATED: October 27 **

_Basic Information:_

_Name: Akane Mikuzen, Viper_

_Age: 17 - 18_

_Recognizable Traits: White ANBU mask, orange hair, suspected blue eyes._

_Former Village: Konohagakure_

_Former Rank: ANBU_

_Personal Data:_

_Registration ID: 009948_

_Date of Birth: June 6_

_Blood Type: B+_

_Gender: Female_

_Height: 5"7_

_Weight: 125lbs_

_Chakra Control: Jonin+ level_

_Genjutsu: Jonin+ level_

_Ninjutsu: Jonin level_

_Taijutsu: Jonin+ level_

_Long Range: Deadly_

_Close Range: Deadly_

_Missions Completed:_

_S-Rank: 176_

_A-Rank: 629_

_B-Rank: 312_

_C-Rank: 0_

_D-Rank: 2_

_Advanced Data:_

_Academy Age: 6_

_Academy Graduation Age: 9_

_Sp. Jounin Age: N/A_

_Jounin Age: N/A_

_ANBU Age: N/A_

_Criminal Data:_

_Criminal Rank: S_

_Status: Alive_

_Organization: N/A_

_Alliances: Itachi Uchiha / Akatsuki (possibly)_

_Wanted For: Murder of entire Uchiha clan, with two exceptions. Divergence from Konohagakure. Assassinations; suspected: 200+, confirmed: 12. _

_Wanted By: Konohagure, Kirigakure, Sunagakure, Iwagakure, Amegakure, Kumogakure, Kusagakure, ._

_Orders: Bring back alive (Konohagakure), or dead (et al.)_

_Bounty: 47,025,000r (Konohagakure), 45,000,000r (et al.)_

_Other Known Information:_

_Weapons: Standard Issued ANBU Sword_

_Special Ability: Genjutsu: all range range paralysis technique***_

_Proceed with caution. Anti-chakra approaches highly recommended._

* * *

Hello, everyone! Welcome back to Broken Dolls. lol.

So the whole sequel idea is cancelled, instead - I'm starting from where I left off. So that ending/epilogue...was not the ending/epilogue. There will be a real, real one for Broken Dolls as a single fanfic.

P.S. That whole Bingo Book entry was fun to write. Any other info you want me to add? Just leave a note, and I'll add!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter after the long wait! Reviews would be lovely :) Logging off and commenting on guest is still probably necessary for some...and I'm sorry for that, really. But I'd love to hear your feedback after such a long time, especially to know if there are still people reading this!

On a side note, Shards of a Broken Doll is put up, which is basically a spin off of the things that went on in that month where Kakashi and Akane were together.

Thanks! :) Have a good day, y'all.

**UPDATE: A new chapter (Chapter Fourteen, At Last) has been added - new "content", I guess, you could say. So it's sort of like an update...but an update in the past...**


	22. Chapter 22: Circle

Chapter Twenty Two: Circle

"They said they wanted her dead."

"But look at her." Pause. "I'm sure that if they saw her...there would be other things they want to do with a _live _girl, if you know what I mean."

A snicker. "If you say so. I think we should just kill her before we give her any opportunity to strike back."

She felt rough fingers on her face – pressing down on her cheeks, down between her teeth, and the scent of cigarettes filled her nose. A warm, bitter and stale breath was on her face and she wanted to choke, but could not. She was too...disorientated. She couldn't do anything but listen, to feel everything but could not respond, could not react. "When the old boss died a month ago, I didn't think that the shinobi to take him down was a girl...especially this little thing." He released his grip and her head fell back onto a cold, hard, uneven floor – concrete? Cement? She must be in a basement, or a warehouse. Slowly, she began collecting information.

It was cool, which led her to believe that she must be in a basement – a cellar. Not a warehouse. There were no signs of a draft, no sounds of any movement. There were echoes. There was at least two men, and one of which that worked for a person she had once assassinated a month ago – not that that narrowed it down. They were waiting for someone else to come and get her, probably a man that would want to do things to unconscious girls. Unconscious, targeted girls.

Again, not enough information.

"Don't underestimate her," a dry voice said, "that's how they all die."

She tested her chakra, concentrating at the tips of her fingers. It was there, but just barely. She may gotten rest, but she still needed food and medical attention. The incident at the Uchiha compound was still heavy on her. She felt light-headed still, probably from the loss of blood. Her body still ached and pain shot from nerve cell to nerve cell, and yet where she felt the injuries were completely numb. She wasn't bandaged. They didn't do anything to her – except tie her wrist together with a coarse rope. Her limbs were stretched out – her hands tied together over her head to some sort of pole. Her legs spread, bound.

She felt very, very exposed.

"She can't do anything now that we have the chakra armour."

Chakra armour?

Where did she hear-

_I suspect that the Land of Snow's new rul__er, __Dotō Kazahana, is experimenting with armour meant to repel all chakra-style fighting, that is ninjutsu and genjutsu. _Kakashi's handwriting, a follow up report. She remembered that. _Although there are still tests of prototypes, they may be able to achieve a working prototype in the near future. Further monitoring is recommended. _

But she had not killed anyone in the Land of Snow – and neither did Kakashi. Well, she did not think he did. She would have known, as Head of Assassinations. She would have seen his name on the list of ANBU to be wary of, to be more sensitive to. It was standard protocol to be conscious of what type of missions to send out on each ANBU, and to balance between murder and intel. Could it be that they stole the blue print?

"These bulky things?" A laugh. "I doubt it works too well if that fool put up no fight to defend it."

"That's worse for us, you idiot. We have to be careful. Check up on her, I think she needs another trauma to keep her out. I think I see movement."

"Yeah, something's change. The atmosphere." She heard footsteps. She kept her eyes shut, her eyelids clear of any movement beneath them. She didn't breathe. She heard the sound of a sword sliding out, and she forced herself not to inhale to ready herself for the pain.

And even when she felt a sword go clean through her arm, just where her triceps met the tendons of her upper arm, she did not cry out. She did not react.

xxxxx

"With all due respect," his eyes lowered, and if it was anyone else, he would have leaned towards the desk, his hands on the table, "but I request her name to be withdrawn." But he could not do anything but stand at the door, watching the Sandaime through his mask as his fingers curled up on both sides of him, digging into his palms.

"I cannot comply, Kakashi, and you know that." His voice was solemn, but there was a touch of an apologetic tone beneath it – as if he wanted to, but he could not. "Her crime is a horrific one. And it is already confirmed that Itachi Uchiha has joined a mercenary group that Orochimaru also belongs to. We can only wait until we have further information on Akane's whereabouts, but for now, she is an enemy of the village."

His fist tightened. "We don't know that." His voice was hollow, and the Hokage looked up at him through weary eyes.

Hiruzen pitied the young man. Although he was not one to snoop around the lives unless completely necessary and Kakashi was, aside from his ranking, otherwise spotless, it was hard to turn a blind eye to a relationship between two ANBU members so high up in the system. He knew that with both her parents were dead and Akane had no one left in the village – except, perhaps Kakashi. And he knew that the man standing in front of him was smarter than to run away with her, but the idea of him going rogue was not completely implausible either.

A moment of silence passed.

And then,

"Just because we have added her into our entries," Third said, and there was pity in his voice, "it does not change anything. She was enlisted in the Bingo books by others long before."

"I understand." And he did. But how could the village that raised her abandon her as well? What would that make all the other village think – that she was more than just an outcast, but a demon? Yet she wasn't. She had protected Konoha, had followed orders.

It was then, Kakashi realized, that she was never praised for it. And slowly, he began to understand her underlying hatred for it all.

"Kakashi," the Hokage said grimly, "listen to me very clearly. You are the Head of Assassinations, yes -"

He looked up at him, the one dark eye expressionless, waiting.

" - But you are not allowed to go after Akane Mikuzen." The Hokage watched him carefully, for any change in expression but there was none. "And if you so choose to, I can only think that the position is too...close to you. Is that understood?"

He bowed his head slowly, but did not say a thing.

xxxxx

Her wrists were raw, red and bleeding against the rope. It stung, but she concentrated on that pain to override the shooting one from her upper arm. Blood dripped down to her shoulders, over her collar bone and stayed there on the middle of her chest. She thought about back when she was younger, when the experienced ANBUs were teaching her how to withstand torture and told her concentrate on everything else, to use her head to gather information to detach and distract herself from the pain.

She took a deep breath.

She was sick of it.

Her chakra was still low, but there was only one guard in the room. When he wasn't looking, she saw a man in his late thirties with dark red hair and pale skin. He wore a black armour, and she saw light circulating through it. She didn't want to attempt genjutsu quite yet, in fear of alerting it somehow. But now, she was done with playing victim. Of having pretend to be asleep as they stab her, as their hands run over her body, and touched all the curves of her nearly bare body.

He stirred.

She stilled as he got up. He didn't say anything, he just stood over and her and peered down at her with sharp grey eyes. He couldn't help but look at her, not quite mesmerized but it was as if he could not get enough of the little details. He didn't understand how this girl could possibly wreak so much havoc, could possibly have so many after her. This girl, with creamy white skin stained with dried blood and dirt and hair that same bright copper he remembered seeing before she had disappeared from that window after shoving a sword up a frozen man's spine.

His finger twitched, and moved his hand -

"Touch me -"

Her face did not move but her eyes had slowly opened revealing pale, icy blue.

" - And I will walk over your corpse in ten seconds."

And so he reached out anyway, a grin on his face.

xxxxx

_One month ago..._

Bleeding.

"Are you alright?"

"Just keep on moving." Fingers over the wound at his side, trying to cover at least the corner of the slash that went down his back from the earlier run in with Kumo-nin. Kakashi Hatake winced, forcing himself to keep both eyes open but the combination of pain and fatigue was heavy on him.

He was on the brink of exhaustion, and yet he continued. He kept on moving, kept on exerting his chakra so that he could cover more ground and he tried to convince himself that the faster he did this, the sooner he would be able to go home and be healed and maybe this time, at last, he would be able to stay there. The wound would slowly dull in pain and _eventually _stop bleeding but it was counter productive. The pain had kept him awake, and now the numbness was lulling himself to sleep, and all he wanted to do was rest. But he knew that it was unlikely, and he also knew that it was pointless to be play with the idea of sleep. In fact, he remembered her words very carefully.

_Don't think about the later._

Eyes like stormy skies, and hair like silk copper.

_Just think about what you can endure that moment. And do it. _

Never a full, real smile, but only a tease of it.

_Or else, you will fail. _

He wiped the image of her face, the haunt of her voice out of his mind and shifted his head to look at the equally concealed shinobi behind him. Tenzo made a sign to turn and he nodded in response and just as quick, the two ANBU disappeared and moments later stopped silently at the outskirts of the village where the target resided. He looked up at the sky and frowned at the approaching sunset, still panting. His breathing was strained and it was getting harder for him to carry on but they were late - more than late, actually. They were supposed to be on the way back right now. And although Kakashi Hatake _had _met up with his partner several hours later than he was supposed to, he had already planned how to make up for the time but now, he wasn't sure if his calculations had been completely correct.

They had recieved a deadline of sundown because the warlord would be leaving the village before nightfall to avoid the festival held tonight, and yet he had a lingering fear the the man had left earlier. Although tracking him down further wasn't a problem, it was still a hindrance on his part especially with the untreated wound. With a sigh, he looked for the inn the man the Intel had gathered he was staying and said in a quiet voice, "I'll handle the guards. Eliminate the target promptly, there's nothing we need from him."

"Understood."

And so they were, once again, just smudges in the air as they leapt from rooftop to rooftop until the two landed on top of a building in front of the inn where they saw several heads peeking and Kakashi knew that he only had an hour tops before he collapsed. His eyelids were already too heavy, and everything too slow. Just crouching there on the roof made him sleepy. He looked over at Tenzo and they shared an unspoken communication before finally striking.

In a blink of an eye, they jumped over to the inn -

- and froze.

A dozen guards, docile and unmoving as they sat in a line. They stared straight ahead, mouths opened and eyes dead. Tenzo approached them hesitantly and slowly, he placed a finger on their throat. "They're alive," he said in a bewildered tone without turning his head.

"Go ahead, I'll investigate here." Kakashi's voice did not sound like himself. It sounded cool, yes, but it was hollow. It was a stranger's. And that was because he already knew who was here, who had taken the job and who Tenzo will find beside a dead body. He could imagine the girl standing in front of a limp, dead body; a girl with burnt orange hair in a messy ponytail that hung down to her back; a girl slowly turning around and her porcelain mask hiding piercing eyes.

Viper was here.

Kakashi crouched down and inspected all of them and confirmed that they were in some sort of genjutsu, something that rendered them paralyzed. And as he heard foot steps shuffle, he closed his eyes just briefly to prepare himself to meet her again. The first time in weeks - and like this. Of course. But nothing was there so he closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in the sound and feel of the breeze, of the distant murmurs in the background of excited children getting ready for the festival. And for a moment, he could just lie to himself into thinking that he was just another civilian of this village, stressed out and exhausted because he had been preparing for the festival and not because he had just been on several assassination and retrieval missions. Maybe, he would have been putting up banners, helping them decorate -

"Hello."

He turned around, and there she was. Hair whipping in the wind, white ANBU mask and decked out in blacks and greys. She was a horrible, stark reminder of the life he lived now and he wasn't sure if he hated her for it or not. Before he could say anything, she crossed the distance between them and placed a finger below his chin, tilting up his face and he knew that this was her way of showing who was in charge. Her voice was a whisper, a cold, scolding whisper. "You're late."

Kakashi's eyes flickered to the sky surrounding them. It was the a darker orange than her hair, and he could see navy and purple on the edge of the horizon. "We had until sundown."

"Technicalities. You had until the festival began. He was already leaving."

"The Hokage sent back up when there was no response at our second check-in." Tenzo explained. "We missed it because -"

"I know why we missed it," Kakashi said, quicker than he necessarily had to. Tenzo nodded and there was an awkward silence between the three. Then Akane's eyes moved between them and she sighed.

"Tenzo, you head back to the village and tell the Hokage that everything went smoothly. Kakashi and I will stay here and confirm all we need to."

"But -"

Akane didn't say anything and yet he stopped anyway. Kakashi couldn't see what was going on between them because he was still looking out past the roof and at people dressed up and laughing. At last, he turned his head and saw Akane staring down Tenzo, despite the difference in height and he knew that Tenzo had stopped speaking because Head of Assassinations just made a demand and he had protested. Tenzo bowed his head and apologized before he disappeared, and she stared after him. But yet, she still did not say anything and Kakashi returned to staring at the town.

Then he heard her foot steps and she crouched down next to him. He did not remember, but he was sitting now with his knees up and arms wrapped losely around it. "When was the last time you slept?" She asked, her tone not so much as considerate but professional.

"I'm not sure," he said dryly. He really wasn't. Maybe at one point, he had drifted off and daydreamed but he could not remember the last time he had really got into bed and closed his eyes for hours and retreated from the world.

"96 hours?" She prompted. As Head, she had to make sure she had the strongest captains and Kakashi Hatake, without a doubt, was one of the best if not _the_ best. In fact, he much more skilled than her but his expertise was spread across a wide arrange of specialties. To isolate him into one department would be a waste of talent. It was why she was assigned as the Head, after all, to look after all of the top assassins. Nonetheless, she didn't want him killing himself and his entire squad from exhaustion. Out of everything, fatigue should not be the death of him.

"Give or take."

She sighed and stood up fluidly, hands on her hips. "Go rest, Hatake. I can't have you dropping on a mission."

"I can't just -"

"I'll handle the implications."

Kakashi didn't know how to make out of this. Was she being _friendly _to him? After that abrupt departure from his life, now she was looking out for him? Why were they _constantly _going in circles - between love and hate? He was sick of it. He scrutinized her but she was turned away from him, descending back through the door on the roof. And he just stared after her, after this girl that once chased after him and spied his every actions as a young little girl, but was now being his superior and looking out for him. And he sighed, but just as he was about to give up, she stopped.

Then she was in front of him again, and her mask was off and all he saw was a bright blue as she leaned in and whispered, "I'll take care of you."

...

He shot up.

His eyes fluttered open again, he was bombarded by laughter and music and fire crackers. With a groan, his hand slipped over his mask and picked it off, holding them at the tips of his fingers. He stared at the inside of his mask for a second, sighing, before dropping it on the ground next to him. The night was cool, and the sky was dark but down below was warmly lit with lanterns. With another squeeze of his eyes, he slackened and leaned on his knees tiredly.

Where was he?

"You're awake." A sigh of relief.

He looked around and saw her.

Considering how dark out it was now, he calculated that he had maybe three, no more than four hours of sleep and yet he felt completely and fully rested. There was no interruption, no nightmares, no calls – nothing. Just deep, deep sleep. Slowly he got up and stretched, feeling the dried blood and broken skill from earlier injury. He winced, but did not pay too much attention to it as his eyes scanned the area, smiling the slightest at the festival going down below. And in that moment, everything was just...mellow. He felt involved of something great, and yet detached from it all and he was fine with it.

And then her voice cut through the silence and reminded him who he was, what he did – what he was doing – and what he cannot escape.

"Slept well?"

"Yes," he said quietly, "thank you." She tipped an invisible hat to him and slowly made her way to him. He slipped his hands into his pockets and glanced down at her, seeing the fan of her eyelashes and curves of her face hidden behind the copper hair. Her mask hung at her hip, and she was wearing the standard white cloak of a Captain and yet she didn't _look _like the ANBU he had known for the past several years.

"Viper?"

Her mouth twitched. She was used to that nickname, of course, but it sounded odd coming from the mouth of a person she had known pre-ANBU era. In fact, it was the _only _person. Everyone else was either dead, missing, or out of her world. He had fallen into the latter category, and yet, here they were again. And that horrible realization dawned onto her heavily and Kakashi could _see _the way her mood dropped in the way her face melted into not just blank, but sad. Sad, and lonely.

He continued anyway. "Really, thank you."

"Don't bother," she said briskly and walked to the edge of the roof and although she was a kunoichi, he felt a lurch of fear anyway at seeing her so close. He _knew _that she wouldn't fall off, but he was not sure if she wouldn't jump off. But his instinctive worry was futile because she simply sat back, hanging her legs off the ledge, her palms pressed against the concrete at her side. "It was for my benefit as well. I was suspecting that Ichiro had information anyway. I've had multiple reports of his plan to hunt me down after our first run in."

"You mean you didn't kill him the first time around?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow. She shook her head and said quietly, "genjutsu." He nodded. "And did you find anything...suspicious?" She shook her head again. He didn't say anything, he just looked down at her passively. And then he sat down next to her, legs dangling as well and they both knew that they were breaking the unspoken ANBU law by not only showing their faces, but making their presence obviously known to anyone who decided to look up – but neither of them cared.

They just sat, silently in each other's company, their past forgotten.

He didn't think about the way this woman did not love him. That despite the moments, the past, the late nights and the early mornings they shared – it was all simply because she was sick of being alone. Not because of love.

And now that thought was as natural as breathing to him.

xxxxx

Kakashi woke up gasping, with only one thought in his mind -

He was going to find her.

* * *

I'm back.

Sorta.

I hope there are still readers after all the confusing chapter changes! To be completely honest, I thought about giving up with this story because I figured everyone was like...nah...but I want to bring this story to an end. This story _deserves _an ending despite all the times I messed up with it.

And since school is practically over and I'm in exam week...the best way to procrastinate is to work on this, after all!

But yes, if you're still reading - thank you so, so much! Reviews would be lovely :)


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